I haven't posted in about a week because I was going through a "bad period". I think you all know what I'm talking about when I use that term. It's when all seems bad and you faith is tested to the maximum. I always seem to be able to pull myself out of it, but I'm missing out on a lot of living. I've been praying for (among other things) strength and courage. I confessed everything to Him and he has finally given me the courage to confess to those in my life that need to know. Shame has kept me from doing that.
I just did something that has given me more power than I thought possible. I think one of the main reasons I can't beat this pain pill addiction is because I'm also dependent (or addicted) to Ambien. If you've never taken Ambien, you probably won't understand. I started taking it about 10 years ago when I was working shift work. I've been working straight daylight for many years and still take it. Ambien totally takes me out of reality. I have done so many bad things while under the influence of it that I'm lucky to be alive. You do things you normally wouldn't do and sometimes don't even remember. The last week has been a rough one because of it. At 8:00 this morning I called my insurance carrier and my doctor and asked them to not authorize any more Ambien for me. I know I will days that I regret doing that but right now I feel more powerful than I ever have. God is working on me!!!!!
I just needed to share that with someone who understands. I hope you all have a great weekend. I pray for those on this message board every night.
Michelle
Congratulations Michelle. A big step. You are headed in the right direction. Pain pills next??? I hope. It's alot to get rid of at once but maybe get rid of them both at the same time and get it over with. Why suffer twice? Good luck and keep praying.
Thanks. I'm hoping that getting rid of the Ambien will help with the pain pills. When I'm not taking Ambien, I seem to be able to fight the cravings. I also shredded a script for cough syrup a few hours ago. I just don't want to want them anymore.
Chillebeans Congrats!
What a HUGE step. That is great that you called your Drs. I'm sure you will have days when you'll want to kick yourself in the A** for doing it but you did the right thing.
Have you ever thought of going on Suboxone?
What a HUGE step. That is great that you called your Drs. I'm sure you will have days when you'll want to kick yourself in the A** for doing it but you did the right thing.
Have you ever thought of going on Suboxone?
Thanks for the encourgament guys. I've thought about Suboxone, but only as a last resort. If I can fight this myself, then that's what I'm going to do. I'm relying on my faith to get me through, and I'm optimistic.
