Hi, I am trying to quit drinking. I come from a family where there is a history of alcohol abuse. I am 55 years old and I have abused alcohol on and off since I was a teenager. My husband unexpectedly died of a cardiac embolism at 50. My Mother passed this last November. My mother was my best friend and I also worked for her so her death has left me scared, lonely and jobless. Since her illness worsened and her death my drinking increased to the point where I have horrible anxiety if I dont drink. I am currently my fathers care giver and also have financial and health insurance restrictions, all of which make it hard for me to seek medical help. I quit drinking for 5 days, had a 4 day pretty big lapse, quit for a week, then it was my Moms memorial because we couldnt have a traditional funeral in November due to COVID-19 and I lapsed again, now I am trying a tamper down because I am scared of alcohol withdrawal. I have an awesome and supportive boyfriend who I love dearly and I dont want to ruin our relationship with my alcohol abuse. I need to get healthy. My current goal is to cut back and go for abstinence again on Monday. The alcohol withdrawal I have experienced in the past was not life threatening but scary, panic attacks and trouble sleeping.
Have you thought about giving AA a try? If you really cannot attend a meeting in person, try looking for one online. https://www.stepchat.com/ is a site where you can find support, chat and meetings . Good luck and keep coming back and let us know how you are doing.
