Hi
My husband started attending AA about a week ago. Since he has stopped drinking, he has gone back to having the occasional cigar ( a habit he broke a long time ago). We have a 15 month old and he says I am unreasonable in asking him to change his clothes/brush his teeth after he has a cigar, before he goes to play with the baby. Is this unreasonable? I don;t like that he smokes, but I am not asking him to stop- just don't come around our child smelling likr it,
Hey Ceelee sometimes the communication in recovery can be lost with each other go back to your partner and sort out an agreeable way around the concern you have, the key is not to argue just talk it out.
Maybe if it is only the occasional cigar then he can wait till the child is down for the night and have his cigar then and showa etc before coming to bed and this period could be used to reflect on the day.
Talk to each other.....I know what it is like as i wasn't the easiest to talk to in early recovery but Ceelee try and stay calm and just talk, Im sure there is a way around it all.
Light and love Zac
Maybe if it is only the occasional cigar then he can wait till the child is down for the night and have his cigar then and showa etc before coming to bed and this period could be used to reflect on the day.
Talk to each other.....I know what it is like as i wasn't the easiest to talk to in early recovery but Ceelee try and stay calm and just talk, Im sure there is a way around it all.
Light and love Zac
Ceetee, That's so great that your husband has stopped drinking and is attending AA....the Program has saved my life that's for sure! I actually smoked for the first few months of my recovery, but put it down when most of the physical withdrawal symptoms diminished. There is a great chapter in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book as it is referred to)...the chapter is called "To Wives" and is Chapter 8 and can be found on page 104 of the 4th edition. You may just want to pick up your husband's Big Book and read this chapter...just a suggestion. Best of luck to your family.
To wife of recovering alcoholic, by now your husband should have a copy of the "Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous", please read the chapter "To Wives". One thing that the newly recovering person needs is patience and tolerance, but sobriety in not an instant cure all for every defect of character that exist's within us. Conversely the family members of the alcoholic must display patience, tolerance, and more without being "preachy". Sometimes we drunks wear our hearts on our sleeves just waiting for someone or something to screw -up our day and give us an excuse for that drink but as our time in AA grows and our spiritual being increases that heart retreat back into its proper place.
Bob
Bob
