Does anyone out there think that I can stay sober without going to meetings and being involved in AA? I am just wondering if anyone thinks it is possible. So far everyone thinks that I am crazy to not be in AA. I find AA meetings to only make me want to go out and get drunk or use. I look forward to some fresh insight.
Please someone respond.
Valarie- Still sober on my own since 9/5/05!
There are other approaches to sobriety. Check these web sites:
http://www.smartrecovery.org
http://www.habitdoc.com/
http://www.unhooked.com/treatment/listing.htm
http://www.smartrecovery.org
http://www.habitdoc.com/
http://www.unhooked.com/treatment/listing.htm
Hi Valarie,
I have been sober for for 15 mths on the 14/05/2006,
I tried AA it wasnt for me, Im not saying that its not for everyone though,I work on a 24/7 roster of day and nite shift, 12 hr shifts, So was diffucult for me to fit them in,
I have good freinds who swear by AA meetings and if my work situation changes maybe I will give it another go,
I check into this site daily if possible and have done so from the start, To me this is like my AA meeting, I have made some wonderful freinds on this site, who have helped me through the hard times, VW Girl has been an absolute awsome freind/ help on a lot of my issues! Thank you VW Girl!
All I can suggest is get on here daily even if you are only reading posts you will see you arent alone, and we are all very much in the same boat, noo matter what part of the world we come from,
I went to the local hospital and done a drug and alcohol thing for 3 mths at the start, with a psycoligist, this helped me a lot, they prescribed medication to get me throuh the rough first few weeks, I only took them for 2-3 mths, Naltrexone and Campral are the names of them,
I am in Australia so i dont know where you are, but maybe they are availble to you.
Take every day as it comes ,dont think about the BBQ in 2 weeks time at your mates house when everyone is drinking till the day, and tell yourself, Im not going to drink today, belive me you will feel soooo good the next day when you have gotten through something like that, if its to hard, dont go,
I go out with my drinking mates now and then, and Everytime one of them goes to the bar they always bring me a water/ soft drink back, they can now acept me as being sober,I think they would now take beer off me if they saw me with it! No chance of that now though!
Take care dunno if this was any help, One other thing find some one you can ring and talk to who doesnt drink (same boat as us) for when you have the urge to drink, this is a great help, And I thank my good friend Zac for being there for me through this, as I was a BIG drinker,
Take care Ginge
I have been sober for for 15 mths on the 14/05/2006,
I tried AA it wasnt for me, Im not saying that its not for everyone though,I work on a 24/7 roster of day and nite shift, 12 hr shifts, So was diffucult for me to fit them in,
I have good freinds who swear by AA meetings and if my work situation changes maybe I will give it another go,
I check into this site daily if possible and have done so from the start, To me this is like my AA meeting, I have made some wonderful freinds on this site, who have helped me through the hard times, VW Girl has been an absolute awsome freind/ help on a lot of my issues! Thank you VW Girl!
All I can suggest is get on here daily even if you are only reading posts you will see you arent alone, and we are all very much in the same boat, noo matter what part of the world we come from,
I went to the local hospital and done a drug and alcohol thing for 3 mths at the start, with a psycoligist, this helped me a lot, they prescribed medication to get me throuh the rough first few weeks, I only took them for 2-3 mths, Naltrexone and Campral are the names of them,
I am in Australia so i dont know where you are, but maybe they are availble to you.
Take every day as it comes ,dont think about the BBQ in 2 weeks time at your mates house when everyone is drinking till the day, and tell yourself, Im not going to drink today, belive me you will feel soooo good the next day when you have gotten through something like that, if its to hard, dont go,
I go out with my drinking mates now and then, and Everytime one of them goes to the bar they always bring me a water/ soft drink back, they can now acept me as being sober,I think they would now take beer off me if they saw me with it! No chance of that now though!
Take care dunno if this was any help, One other thing find some one you can ring and talk to who doesnt drink (same boat as us) for when you have the urge to drink, this is a great help, And I thank my good friend Zac for being there for me through this, as I was a BIG drinker,
Take care Ginge
In reply to Ginge's message, yes this is sort of like an online meeting ~ one alcoholic chatting with another is considered a meeting, however, what's missing is the face to face contact...and the readings, sponsorship, etc you get from AA. I know AA is not the only way to stay sober and clean, others choose other methods and they work for them...but this alcoholic woman here - well I need to learn how to live life on life's terms, good, bad or indifferent without obliterating myself. The recividism rate is high with alcoholics/addicts, unfortunately most don't make it on their first try, some never make it and die ~ it took me 20 years and life is for the most part pretty darn good!
Or there is always Moderation Management. Hmmm...interesting how no one mentioned that. Sometimes people are more in an alcoholic state of being than actual alcoholics.
What I mean by that is, yes ,if you consume alcohol at a greater rate than you can process it then you will be out of control.
But if you can quit for awhile (4-6 weeks) you may be able to regain control again.
Worth a try atleast!
Cailyn
What I mean by that is, yes ,if you consume alcohol at a greater rate than you can process it then you will be out of control.
But if you can quit for awhile (4-6 weeks) you may be able to regain control again.
Worth a try atleast!
Cailyn
I just wanted to mention that often times AA is referred to the "last house on the block" ~ which was true for me...I tried everything and I mean everything to try to get sober: Moderation Management, Rationale Recovery, Women for Sobriety, Catholicism, Mormonism, Hinduism, EST, willpower, you name it...but where did I end up: AA; it's been working for 2.5 years for me now and I'm not gonna try to figure out why, I just keep showing up.
When I first came here to this board I thought perhaps I was an alcoholic because I kept saying that I would only have two a night and ended up drinking till I blacked out everynight instead.
But after quitting for several months that doesn't happen anymore so some people,like me, may just need to lay off the sause for awhile and see what happens.
Others may find that even after quitting for several months they still drink till they pass out if they try to drink again.
Everyone is different.
Cailyn
But after quitting for several months that doesn't happen anymore so some people,like me, may just need to lay off the sause for awhile and see what happens.
Others may find that even after quitting for several months they still drink till they pass out if they try to drink again.
Everyone is different.
Cailyn
Hi,
Im one of those all or none people,
If I had 24 stubbies in the fridge and had one, I would have the whole lot or close to!
I wish I could be like other people and do the moderation thing, but I cant!
Im amazed now I go out with some friends and they call them selves ""drinkers"" What they would drink in a nite ,I would drink twice that before even bothering to get ready to go out,
Ginge
Im one of those all or none people,
If I had 24 stubbies in the fridge and had one, I would have the whole lot or close to!
I wish I could be like other people and do the moderation thing, but I cant!
Im amazed now I go out with some friends and they call them selves ""drinkers"" What they would drink in a nite ,I would drink twice that before even bothering to get ready to go out,
Ginge
Hey Valerie
Hows things
I have been on and off AA for 10 years now and i havent drank all i know is the more contact i have with people in recovery the better my sober time is and im still finding out stuff at meetings that make me think wow i wished i drank or tried that, its then that i realise im in the right place.
How about giving the meetings a go and if you get to share ask for feedback on something that is troubling you.
Whatever you do stay sober.
Hooroo Zac
Hows things
I have been on and off AA for 10 years now and i havent drank all i know is the more contact i have with people in recovery the better my sober time is and im still finding out stuff at meetings that make me think wow i wished i drank or tried that, its then that i realise im in the right place.
How about giving the meetings a go and if you get to share ask for feedback on something that is troubling you.
Whatever you do stay sober.
Hooroo Zac
I'm and all or nothing Girl! Yep, that's me right here! It makes me laugh cause I had this theory that if I just marked down how many beers I was gonna have (say I allowed myself a six pack) ~ then I finish that and say oh a couple more won't hurt, forgot to mark those down, the two martinis I tossed back and the bottle wine that catapulted me right into a black out ~ I'd wake the next morning and check my scorecard and go, hmmm only 8 beers, but I feel so awful then I'd look under the bed, that's where I'd stash my bottles, and see the results of the night before! So glad, I don't do that today....or the other substance that was my DOC...if I was managing and controlling my drinking (usually in social settings) I wasn't enjoying myself...if I wasn't managing and controlling my drinking (usually in my own home)...I wasn't enjoying myself...it stopped working for me. Thank God.
OMG VWGIRL! Bottles under the bed! That was my stash spot...or in the closet, didn't mind drinking warm beer either, actually i thought it got me drunk faster.
I always had cans laying everywhere under the bed in the morning....even when i lived alone, i still felt like i had to hide them. From who? I have no idea!?!
Before i quit drinking,( i wasn't drinking EVERY day ) But i'd go a few days without and then i'd go on a binge for 4 or 5, sometimes 6 days. At the end i was drinking at least a case (24 cans) of beer in a day : (
p.s. I'm an all or nothing kinda girl too. I could never do moderation, no matter how much that evil little voice in my head tells me i can!
I always had cans laying everywhere under the bed in the morning....even when i lived alone, i still felt like i had to hide them. From who? I have no idea!?!
Before i quit drinking,( i wasn't drinking EVERY day ) But i'd go a few days without and then i'd go on a binge for 4 or 5, sometimes 6 days. At the end i was drinking at least a case (24 cans) of beer in a day : (
p.s. I'm an all or nothing kinda girl too. I could never do moderation, no matter how much that evil little voice in my head tells me i can!
I was starting to wonder if there was really even such a thing as an alcoholic at all. I was thinking, gee, all any one really needs to do is just quit drinking for awhile if they really want to regain control.
But perhaps it does not work that way for everyone. Perhaps some people really are alcoholics.
Cailyn
But perhaps it does not work that way for everyone. Perhaps some people really are alcoholics.
Cailyn
I am a real alcoholic...you can ask my Daughters, my Mother, my Sister, my ex-Husband...hmmm, I could go on and on...I am bodily and mentally different from those who drink "normally"....it's really not a drinking problem at all...it's a life problem that is dealt with by drinking....at least that's my experience. Drinking was but a symptom.
Thank you everyone for the helpful advice. I really appreciate it. I think the reason I have such an aversion to AA is that I don't agree with not taking the responsibility yourself and turning it over to a higher power. I think that is crap. It can't be all wrong because I know it works for lots of people.
The comments about the bottles under the bed cracked me up. We recently remodeled our house and I was finding shot glasses, regular glasses with the booze all evaporated and turning the glasses a light brown. Like it had Mrs. Butterworths in it. I couldn't believe all the stash spots that I forgot about. Everytime someone would say something to me about maybe I had had enough i would start stashing cuz I knew someone was getting ready to dump it our or monitor me. Too Funny!!!
The comment about watching other people drink cracked me up too. Normal people drink very little and think it is alot. I remember going to some friends house a couple and they were kind of giggling and embarrased because they had shared an Entire bottle of Champagne the night before. Are you kidding me. One bottle only irritated me. it took at least 2 to get buzzin'! That's only about 2 glasses per person. That also let me know that I was way out of control if I thought two people sharing a bottle of Champagne was no big deal. I still don't think that is a lot of Alcohol. Thanks for all your help and I will check in here to help with my sobriety!!!
Still sober in CA
Valarie
The comments about the bottles under the bed cracked me up. We recently remodeled our house and I was finding shot glasses, regular glasses with the booze all evaporated and turning the glasses a light brown. Like it had Mrs. Butterworths in it. I couldn't believe all the stash spots that I forgot about. Everytime someone would say something to me about maybe I had had enough i would start stashing cuz I knew someone was getting ready to dump it our or monitor me. Too Funny!!!
The comment about watching other people drink cracked me up too. Normal people drink very little and think it is alot. I remember going to some friends house a couple and they were kind of giggling and embarrased because they had shared an Entire bottle of Champagne the night before. Are you kidding me. One bottle only irritated me. it took at least 2 to get buzzin'! That's only about 2 glasses per person. That also let me know that I was way out of control if I thought two people sharing a bottle of Champagne was no big deal. I still don't think that is a lot of Alcohol. Thanks for all your help and I will check in here to help with my sobriety!!!
Still sober in CA
Valarie
QUOTE: I think the reason I have such an aversion to AA is that I don't agree with not taking the responsibility yourself and turning it over to a higher power. I think that is crap. UNQUOTE
Valarie -I'm not trying to push AA but wanted to respond to this comment because I used to think EXACTLY like this. It wasn't AA that changed my mind but an online friend of mine who like me is a Star Wars buff, we email/post about star wars all the time and somehow ended up having long discussions about spiritual things.
What I came to understand is this. Turning over to a HP (higher power) or "letting go" as I call it, has nothing to do with not being responsible for yourself. It's completely the opposite. I never was comfortable letting go because I'm a control freak. The idea of something being out of my control frankly scared the poopies out of me so I shied away from the whole HP thing for years.
Letting go doesn't mean that you sit back and do nothing. Letting go means giving up the worry and fear and fretting about something that you cannot control or handle yourself, only your HP can handle. It is actually much more difficult to let go than to cling on to things yourself. You still have work to do.
Letting go is THE FIRST STEP IN TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE. You are actually letting go of the OUTCOME not the process.
You and your HP have to work in partnership to fix your problems. If you take sobreity as the example. YOU still have to work your recovery, do your steps, go to meetings, attend therapy, educate yourself, make behavioural and life changes etc. As you expand yourself spiritually you'll find it becomes easier to do these things because you are not alone and your HP will speak to you.
Me, when I "listen" with my soul, my heart, through meditating or focussing on my instinct I get lots of premonitions, and if I follow those premonitions without doubt and fear, take the actions prompted therein things ALWAYS work out. Because your HP is never wrong.
Now when I don't listen, or try to do it MY way, or get confused or doubt, things generally go to s***. Not always, but often.
I tend to believe that the HP is essentially neutral - doesn't care if you pay attention to it or not. But its always there, if you want it. You've just got to want it.
my 2c.
Valarie -I'm not trying to push AA but wanted to respond to this comment because I used to think EXACTLY like this. It wasn't AA that changed my mind but an online friend of mine who like me is a Star Wars buff, we email/post about star wars all the time and somehow ended up having long discussions about spiritual things.
What I came to understand is this. Turning over to a HP (higher power) or "letting go" as I call it, has nothing to do with not being responsible for yourself. It's completely the opposite. I never was comfortable letting go because I'm a control freak. The idea of something being out of my control frankly scared the poopies out of me so I shied away from the whole HP thing for years.
Letting go doesn't mean that you sit back and do nothing. Letting go means giving up the worry and fear and fretting about something that you cannot control or handle yourself, only your HP can handle. It is actually much more difficult to let go than to cling on to things yourself. You still have work to do.
Letting go is THE FIRST STEP IN TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE. You are actually letting go of the OUTCOME not the process.
You and your HP have to work in partnership to fix your problems. If you take sobreity as the example. YOU still have to work your recovery, do your steps, go to meetings, attend therapy, educate yourself, make behavioural and life changes etc. As you expand yourself spiritually you'll find it becomes easier to do these things because you are not alone and your HP will speak to you.
Me, when I "listen" with my soul, my heart, through meditating or focussing on my instinct I get lots of premonitions, and if I follow those premonitions without doubt and fear, take the actions prompted therein things ALWAYS work out. Because your HP is never wrong.
Now when I don't listen, or try to do it MY way, or get confused or doubt, things generally go to s***. Not always, but often.
I tend to believe that the HP is essentially neutral - doesn't care if you pay attention to it or not. But its always there, if you want it. You've just got to want it.
my 2c.
GREAT, GREAT POST IDGIE! YOU ROCK!!
Couldn't agree more!! :) Your spiritual side is ALWAYS with you, it just got drowned out by the all the booze!! and once you are sober it's absolutely AMAZING how intuned you become, my sobriety came to be by attending church, and going to bible study, I can't explain it but it has really given me peace, in situations that usually would cause me to go out on a bender or just cause me so much anxiety!! I still worry, and I still think of drinking but those feelings aren't nearly as intense as they once were, you just hand it over!!
Ain't it Beautiful!!
lovedove
Ain't it Beautiful!!
lovedove
Idgie, you're carrying the message ~ so good!
Valarie ~ best of luck to you. I totally identified with your post...I hope you can find the kind of recovery I've found...most days I am "happy, joyous and free"...take it easy.
Valarie ~ best of luck to you. I totally identified with your post...I hope you can find the kind of recovery I've found...most days I am "happy, joyous and free"...take it easy.
