Hi all,
Just wanted to look to you guys for support...I was shopping in our little Trader Joe's market this evening and found the non-alcoholic wine (well, as we all know it has a little alcohol in it)....and I thought what would it hurt to start drinking non-alcoholic wine in a pretty glass...well, what would it hurt, just the whole set-up, the glamorizing of it....well, it would only be a matter of time before I picked up the real deal...and we all know where that takes me...drunk and out to get coke. So, as I sit in my bit of a squirrely state right now (I always am right before a milestone in my sobriety) I thought that drink all the way through. Not pretty...I'd rather stay sober...I have to be reminded that this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful and it is waiting to bring me down any way it can.... and the funny thing is, is that things are going pretty well for me all the way around, and I've been told to watch out for the times when things are good because I just might forget where I came from...thanks for letting me put that out there. All any of us have is today and we are all just an arms length away from a drink.
Gidday VWGirl
The post i read was of an example of how to deal with stinkin thinkin and i have experience these thought processess as well.
I can have spells where drinking is an option if im fearful or as you say when things are really good i think maybe my new morals will conquere my old drinking habits LOL or times when completely out of the blue the idea of a drink pops into my head......when all these things happen i do as you done think it through and thank God and my gratitude for recovery.
As a drinker any drama was good drama in recovery my mind can create drama around events or occassions that are coming up if i allow it to.
Just be you VWG live your recovery as you do learning and growing and sharing your experience, strength and hope so that this alky for one can learn as well
light and love Zac
The post i read was of an example of how to deal with stinkin thinkin and i have experience these thought processess as well.
I can have spells where drinking is an option if im fearful or as you say when things are really good i think maybe my new morals will conquere my old drinking habits LOL or times when completely out of the blue the idea of a drink pops into my head......when all these things happen i do as you done think it through and thank God and my gratitude for recovery.
As a drinker any drama was good drama in recovery my mind can create drama around events or occassions that are coming up if i allow it to.
Just be you VWG live your recovery as you do learning and growing and sharing your experience, strength and hope so that this alky for one can learn as well
light and love Zac
Geri - As I read your true confession I did not picture you as squirrely at all. I saw you standing there tall and strong, kind of a warrrior with a shield fighting off the enemy. Be kind to yourself~you are powerful and amazing.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
I certainly hope you made it through the urge, Geri. I hear stories--and even have one myself--of coming up on a milestone and my mind starting those voices again. "Aw, come on. It's not REAL alcohol! It's just wine." Then right back into the ditch for me, peering over the curb of life.
There's a gal in group that has one month more of 24-hour periods chained together than I do, and she says that to this day she can't even go near grapes. ANY grape. For fear of the trigger. She learned her triggers and gets almost militant over them!
I hope you called someone...
There's a gal in group that has one month more of 24-hour periods chained together than I do, and she says that to this day she can't even go near grapes. ANY grape. For fear of the trigger. She learned her triggers and gets almost militant over them!
I hope you called someone...
Hi Zac, MnM & SKG,
Thanks for the support. I made it through it, it wasn't like total white-knuckling or anything like that, I could describe it as an insidious voice in my head...not sure if you guys can relate, but that's what it was like...so, I took my daughter to a surf competition early this morning, then we went to boxing, did my errands & chores, got to do the treasury commitment and cake commitment at my 12:00 noon meeting and was able to give a ride home to a blind woman who attends this meeting and then visited with my Mom and her husband...so I was of service today and was able to get out of myself which always works for me! Now I am just winding down ready for a kick-back evening....I wouldn't have been able to get up today if I would've picked up last night! Thanks again and I hope you all are doing well! Geri
Thanks for the support. I made it through it, it wasn't like total white-knuckling or anything like that, I could describe it as an insidious voice in my head...not sure if you guys can relate, but that's what it was like...so, I took my daughter to a surf competition early this morning, then we went to boxing, did my errands & chores, got to do the treasury commitment and cake commitment at my 12:00 noon meeting and was able to give a ride home to a blind woman who attends this meeting and then visited with my Mom and her husband...so I was of service today and was able to get out of myself which always works for me! Now I am just winding down ready for a kick-back evening....I wouldn't have been able to get up today if I would've picked up last night! Thanks again and I hope you all are doing well! Geri
Gidday VWG
Are you meaning the insideous voice that tells me everything i do is negative, or attention seeking, alterior motived, people pleasing, reward seeking, mean, what are your intentions, no way can you do or handle that, they said thankyou but what do they really mean, they didnt wave what have i done, go on have a drink...youve done all this work and have all these new morals you will be okay....Is this the voice you mean....Nah i havent heard it LOL
It lives in my head trying to spread its dread and i put it to sleep with the serenity prayer and positive thoughts and affirmations sprinkled with lavish amounts of faith and gratitude...oh yeah and sharing and posting, it just reminded me oops:)
light and love Zac
Are you meaning the insideous voice that tells me everything i do is negative, or attention seeking, alterior motived, people pleasing, reward seeking, mean, what are your intentions, no way can you do or handle that, they said thankyou but what do they really mean, they didnt wave what have i done, go on have a drink...youve done all this work and have all these new morals you will be okay....Is this the voice you mean....Nah i havent heard it LOL
It lives in my head trying to spread its dread and i put it to sleep with the serenity prayer and positive thoughts and affirmations sprinkled with lavish amounts of faith and gratitude...oh yeah and sharing and posting, it just reminded me oops:)
light and love Zac
You mean, "The Committee?"
My "Board of Directors' up there's ALWAYS ready to get whole bunch involved. Funny, too... I was just trying to explain to someone just how REAL those voices are!
;)
My "Board of Directors' up there's ALWAYS ready to get whole bunch involved. Funny, too... I was just trying to explain to someone just how REAL those voices are!
;)
Oh my gosh, one of my guy friends just took a 28 year cake...he got sober when he was 35 years old! His pitch was about how those insane voices still get to him...like "why you wearing that shirt, that shirt looks stupid on you..."; "I'm writing an article about so and so, and they are not going to be happy with it..." ~ all that negative crap we alcoholics can go to so quickly ~ thanks SKG for reminding me about the "Committee" ~ sometimes I just forget what I learn around the rooms of AA....so glad I have meetings to go to and for this open forum to share with honesty. Have a great day everyone!
~waving hi to Zac & SKG~
Hi Geri...
Thank you for sharing that...
Oh boy, can I relate...that is one of the true blessings of being in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is that I no longer feel like a freak, or wierd or crazy...when I heard others had "committees" going on in their heads, I was sooo very relieved. All my life, I thought I was different and to realize it's part of this disease and if I do what's suggested, I don't have to have that "committee" run my life anymore...
My husband & I went to Oakland last Sunday for the Raiders vs. Chicago Bears game and attended a tailgate party before the game. We met up with a couple of my co-workers and wives. One of the wives came up to me and offered me an opened Seagram's fruity type cooler (never liked fruity drinks) and I politely said no thank you, I don't drink and then I look across the way and there sits a full bottle of Crown Royal and that insideous thought went racing through my head "now there's your drink, Stacey and doesn't it look sparkly and enticing" and it's that quick that a thought like that can cross my mind, luckily is doesn't happen to often but I had to laugh, shared with my husband, got it out of my head and decided at that point, it was time to move on & go into the game. I have a friend, Kevin that shares that our next drink will present itself in the most glamorous way but if we are working a program and stay spiritually fit, we have a shot at this thing called recovery...
Hope all is well in your world, Geri...I love seeing you jump into service and showing this alkie how it's done...I just gave up my secretary position after a year and now I'm moving on to H & I and hoping to start visiting the jails & institutions after the 1st of the new year...
xoxo
Stacey
Hi Geri...
Thank you for sharing that...
| QUOTE |
| I could describe it as an insidious voice in my head...not sure if you guys can relate, but that's what it was like... |
Oh boy, can I relate...that is one of the true blessings of being in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is that I no longer feel like a freak, or wierd or crazy...when I heard others had "committees" going on in their heads, I was sooo very relieved. All my life, I thought I was different and to realize it's part of this disease and if I do what's suggested, I don't have to have that "committee" run my life anymore...
My husband & I went to Oakland last Sunday for the Raiders vs. Chicago Bears game and attended a tailgate party before the game. We met up with a couple of my co-workers and wives. One of the wives came up to me and offered me an opened Seagram's fruity type cooler (never liked fruity drinks) and I politely said no thank you, I don't drink and then I look across the way and there sits a full bottle of Crown Royal and that insideous thought went racing through my head "now there's your drink, Stacey and doesn't it look sparkly and enticing" and it's that quick that a thought like that can cross my mind, luckily is doesn't happen to often but I had to laugh, shared with my husband, got it out of my head and decided at that point, it was time to move on & go into the game. I have a friend, Kevin that shares that our next drink will present itself in the most glamorous way but if we are working a program and stay spiritually fit, we have a shot at this thing called recovery...
Hope all is well in your world, Geri...I love seeing you jump into service and showing this alkie how it's done...I just gave up my secretary position after a year and now I'm moving on to H & I and hoping to start visiting the jails & institutions after the 1st of the new year...
xoxo
Stacey
Thanks for the post VW & Stacey,
I too can relate to the "insidious voice" . It seems to be a fact of life that, unless we go live under a rock, we will encounter situations where drinking is the norm. (christmas parties, staff functions, social gatherings etc.) The "voice" often tells me that as long as I'm only drinking because of the situation and not out of need to escape nothing will happen. Besides, just keep it to one or two, you won't even feel anything.....
I often remind myself that I have permission to be a non-drinker and there is no need to apologise for that. The "committee" needs to reminded too!
one day at a time, Cookster
I too can relate to the "insidious voice" . It seems to be a fact of life that, unless we go live under a rock, we will encounter situations where drinking is the norm. (christmas parties, staff functions, social gatherings etc.) The "voice" often tells me that as long as I'm only drinking because of the situation and not out of need to escape nothing will happen. Besides, just keep it to one or two, you won't even feel anything.....
I often remind myself that I have permission to be a non-drinker and there is no need to apologise for that. The "committee" needs to reminded too!
one day at a time, Cookster
Gidday Everyone
My committee hates laughter and serenity especially when it is aimed at its core,but like the true politician it is any chance for an interjection or comment on a mind debate and the committee is humming ahhhh but then comes the laughter and the serenity prayer and calm is restored
light and love Zac
My committee hates laughter and serenity especially when it is aimed at its core,but like the true politician it is any chance for an interjection or comment on a mind debate and the committee is humming ahhhh but then comes the laughter and the serenity prayer and calm is restored
light and love Zac
