maby its time to triy somthing else, i have to pikup gradkids but thask for your replys they mean a lot to me. love karen.
Karen,
Awhile back I posted that you should ADD AA or NA to your so-called recovery group. I take that back. You need to DITCH that group, period.
1. They have non-addicts there giving advice, including your sponsor. That's NOT helpful, it's harmful.
2. They are taking away support at a time when you need it most. Again, harmful NOT helpful.
3. There is a reason why most recovery programs are the same. It is because they work. Being a part of one that is radically different, and ignores you when you need support is insane. Go join a group that has worked for many, for many years. NA or AA.
4. How much has this group really helped you anyway? Your not clean and sober, so whatever they are doing is not working. Time to try something else.
5. I was thinking CULT before I ever got to your post. If outsiders think the group is cult-like and talk about brainwashing, they are probably right. RUN far away from this group and join NA or AA, immediately.
6. This group sounds really wacky (sorry.) I know they have embraced you at times when you needed them, but that is how cults and cult-like groups draw people in. Once you're in, then everything changes and all these silly rules are instilled. If you do not follow them, they punish you mentally. It's all a part of the process. Just because it might have been based on 12 steps doesn't matter. It sounds like some religious nut decided what HE thinks God wants, and is trying to make all of you do things HIS way. Or maybe that's in the past and you are experiencing the remnants of the mess he left behind? Who leads this group? The people in it? Or, someone else? Regardless, you need to get out. You have shown very little improvement, so I doubt you are getting ANYTHING from these "meetings."
Time didn't believe you because he knows that would NOT happen at an AA or NA meeting. It just doesn't work that way. I am sure he will believe you now that he knows your "meetings" are not the same kind of meetings we talk about on this board.
And, in all fairness and to eliminate confusion, when you say you are going to a meeting or talking with your sponsor, you really should mention that you go to church-based meetings and that they are not NA or AA. People are assuming you do go to NA or AA. The fact that you are not, and attempting to get support from this group with a questionable agenda, makes a big difference.
As always, I say this with good intent and not to make you feel bad or hurt your feelings. I think you know that now, Karen, since you have thanked me for my honesty in the past.
Take care, and RUN...........................>>>>>>>>>>
Awhile back I posted that you should ADD AA or NA to your so-called recovery group. I take that back. You need to DITCH that group, period.
1. They have non-addicts there giving advice, including your sponsor. That's NOT helpful, it's harmful.
2. They are taking away support at a time when you need it most. Again, harmful NOT helpful.
3. There is a reason why most recovery programs are the same. It is because they work. Being a part of one that is radically different, and ignores you when you need support is insane. Go join a group that has worked for many, for many years. NA or AA.
4. How much has this group really helped you anyway? Your not clean and sober, so whatever they are doing is not working. Time to try something else.
5. I was thinking CULT before I ever got to your post. If outsiders think the group is cult-like and talk about brainwashing, they are probably right. RUN far away from this group and join NA or AA, immediately.
6. This group sounds really wacky (sorry.) I know they have embraced you at times when you needed them, but that is how cults and cult-like groups draw people in. Once you're in, then everything changes and all these silly rules are instilled. If you do not follow them, they punish you mentally. It's all a part of the process. Just because it might have been based on 12 steps doesn't matter. It sounds like some religious nut decided what HE thinks God wants, and is trying to make all of you do things HIS way. Or maybe that's in the past and you are experiencing the remnants of the mess he left behind? Who leads this group? The people in it? Or, someone else? Regardless, you need to get out. You have shown very little improvement, so I doubt you are getting ANYTHING from these "meetings."
Time didn't believe you because he knows that would NOT happen at an AA or NA meeting. It just doesn't work that way. I am sure he will believe you now that he knows your "meetings" are not the same kind of meetings we talk about on this board.
And, in all fairness and to eliminate confusion, when you say you are going to a meeting or talking with your sponsor, you really should mention that you go to church-based meetings and that they are not NA or AA. People are assuming you do go to NA or AA. The fact that you are not, and attempting to get support from this group with a questionable agenda, makes a big difference.
As always, I say this with good intent and not to make you feel bad or hurt your feelings. I think you know that now, Karen, since you have thanked me for my honesty in the past.
Take care, and RUN...........................>>>>>>>>>>
well im not in a good space writnow, i have read all the replays, and do have ask myself the, the samething, i don,t now way but iv always faugth it, there was just to mush control, well last nite my xdautherinlay, husbean came over and took the kids from us, she is in recovory, at the same place, so his call ing, all the control, he would not let our gerles, stae over, he took the kids screaming, and fighting out the door, i could not belive this, i think i have to get some leagl writes, please somone if you have enei, leagel back ground could you help, it is, not writ what he did, but how do i handel this iv but in a cll to the recovory, to talk to her, im to anger to talk to him, i need to go about this the rite way, for my gradchildern, it was just to much last nite we did not want to make it woerse, its not good for enyone, i do not want to make eny, problems, but this has pushed me , to far, he is not a good person, he is in his 50,s and she is 24, and he has a vary bade back ground, thanks karen.
Iola
This cant possibly be a NA or AA meeting..do you know for sure?
Tim you were incredibly rude to Karen (Iola..)
I have the feeling that Iola may be of another descent, and English may not be her first language..
I find it hard to believe Tim that you can pass judgement so quickly and just ASSUME she is not being honest..????
You owe her an apology in my opinion
Karen keep posting honey...
Hugs
Ali
P.S. Do you remember the name of your group? How did you find them?? Scary to hear any supposed addiction help group could pass judgement, gossip and ban members like that.....the others are right karen, since you oibviously enjoy attended meetings, check out a different NA group...I would even go so far as to say that this place should be reported on....they are playing with minds and thus lives...
This cant possibly be a NA or AA meeting..do you know for sure?
Tim you were incredibly rude to Karen (Iola..)
I have the feeling that Iola may be of another descent, and English may not be her first language..
I find it hard to believe Tim that you can pass judgement so quickly and just ASSUME she is not being honest..????
You owe her an apology in my opinion
Karen keep posting honey...
Hugs
Ali
P.S. Do you remember the name of your group? How did you find them?? Scary to hear any supposed addiction help group could pass judgement, gossip and ban members like that.....the others are right karen, since you oibviously enjoy attended meetings, check out a different NA group...I would even go so far as to say that this place should be reported on....they are playing with minds and thus lives...
Ali-Grow up.I made an apology to her yesterday.You're just trying to start some sh*t.
Tim
I am just reading this thread now and didnt see any apology..
If you DID apologize, I am glad, and apologize to you..
I DID NOT REALIZE that......
Grow up?
Tim..you continue to jump the gun and pass judgement on people..wasnt it you that made that comment about " condemning without research???
Isnt that what you just did to me????
Did it not even don on you that perhaps i didnt know you had apologized??
I would never have posted had i known...
A
I am just reading this thread now and didnt see any apology..
If you DID apologize, I am glad, and apologize to you..
I DID NOT REALIZE that......
Grow up?
Tim..you continue to jump the gun and pass judgement on people..wasnt it you that made that comment about " condemning without research???
Isnt that what you just did to me????
Did it not even don on you that perhaps i didnt know you had apologized??
I would never have posted had i known...
A
I started a new thread addressed specifically to her.
oops
i see that now...sorry again
Ali
i see that now...sorry again
Ali
