Hi all
I have been thinking lately and reading alot of posts... and I have been wondering what are some of the most common reasons for not going or even attemptin to go to meetings.. I do not want to turn this thread into a my way is right and you are wrong thing... I just want to know what some of the reason are that many on here dont go... esp the newer ones..
Many of you all know my philosophy on NA and I would like to have some other insight as to other reasons why some do not go. Is it availablity or atomosphere or anonymity?.....ect
Again I do not want this to get to be a NA bashing thread or in the alternative a thread bashing those that do not attend...
Having said that ... MODERATORS... if this should happen please do not hesitate to close this thread or otherwise delete it.
The only reason why I bring this up is that I would hope that we as adult could have a healthy debate on a recovery related topic other than subutex or w/d symptoms...
Thanks
Teresa
I persona;;y do not go because, it is straight up boaring! and the gossip in the fellow ship. thats why i dont go, but maybe that will be my down fall?...
point taken.... thanks for posting
teresa
teresa
Teresa,
I would not have 58 days without NA meetings. I did not want to go at first, but soon found out I had to go. Sometime I get alot from the meeting, other times not as much, but I am going for me, no one else.
I dont post to much being new, but I do believe that meetings have helped me get where I am today, and that I need them as much as they need me.
Thanks for the post
I would not have 58 days without NA meetings. I did not want to go at first, but soon found out I had to go. Sometime I get alot from the meeting, other times not as much, but I am going for me, no one else.
I dont post to much being new, but I do believe that meetings have helped me get where I am today, and that I need them as much as they need me.
Thanks for the post
I go. It's what keeps me clean. I always preface my responses with the importance of meetings.
Rach
Rach
HI DEAR TERESA" just wanted to know how you are doing have not chatted with you for awhile i hope all is well iam doing good, so you ready for christmas yet lol.. i have not even started yet stores are so packed out here already anyway i hope you and your family are taking care of your selfs you are a dear angel and deserve all the best so please take care . HUGS + LOVE LITTLE HANNO . P.S. formaly known as LITTLE H had to sine in with a differnt name so i used my nick name" bill had to clean out the computer so for some reason i could not sine in with my regular name i just wanted to let you know incase you had not seen my post yesterday exsplaining why.
hi little
thanks for asking.. I am doing well... no I am not ready for christmas.. I very much dislike what christmas has become... nothing but a what am i going to get and who do I have to buy for.. no one seems to remember the ones that dont have swat let alone remind there kids of the less fortunate ones when they are griping that they didnt get the latest gaget on the market... oh well..
i guess from the lack of responses that people would rather discuss the latest miracle cure or easy way.. or something else... so
well I guess I gave it a shot...
thanks little H .. Hope all is well with you .. too..
give your littlest ones a hug...
Teresa
thanks for asking.. I am doing well... no I am not ready for christmas.. I very much dislike what christmas has become... nothing but a what am i going to get and who do I have to buy for.. no one seems to remember the ones that dont have swat let alone remind there kids of the less fortunate ones when they are griping that they didnt get the latest gaget on the market... oh well..
i guess from the lack of responses that people would rather discuss the latest miracle cure or easy way.. or something else... so
well I guess I gave it a shot...
thanks little H .. Hope all is well with you .. too..
give your littlest ones a hug...
Teresa
I guess my answer is, embarressment. I am new to this at 37 years old and never until the last 9 months addicted to anything. I took a pecocet for an eye injury then, and until 10 days ago was taking 5 a day (but not for pain), No one knows about this whatsoever. My wife, family , freinds, etc.. I have found this message board as the only outlet for the pain of the last 10 days and it has helped. sorry for ranting, but this post has been my only time I have additted this problem to anyone....
Thanks for sharing and please just know that you are NOT ALONE...
there are sooo many out there that feel just like you do... and if you could see your way clear to go to a meeting even one not so close to home you would get an oporunity to see just how common this really is...
but I really do understand and I know that it is hard...
keep hangin around here and hopefully you will get something you need and who knows.. you are worth it ....
please just know also that addiction is a disease just like diabetis or cancer.. I know that is hard to swallow.. it was for me and I am a nurse.. (was) ... but it is NOT a moral defect or a character flaw.. it happens..
so now you got some work to do but you must do it.. I know you can..
God Bless..
Teresa
there are sooo many out there that feel just like you do... and if you could see your way clear to go to a meeting even one not so close to home you would get an oporunity to see just how common this really is...
but I really do understand and I know that it is hard...
keep hangin around here and hopefully you will get something you need and who knows.. you are worth it ....
please just know also that addiction is a disease just like diabetis or cancer.. I know that is hard to swallow.. it was for me and I am a nurse.. (was) ... but it is NOT a moral defect or a character flaw.. it happens..
so now you got some work to do but you must do it.. I know you can..
God Bless..
Teresa
Hey Teresa:
I think that this board is the first step in the recovery process for many. Some people don't know the first thing about what to do. I think this is a great stepping stone into the path of recovery.
Rach
I think that this board is the first step in the recovery process for many. Some people don't know the first thing about what to do. I think this is a great stepping stone into the path of recovery.
Rach
My boyfriend says that the meetings just aren't for him. He has thought about them. He's been to them before in the past and he's not solidly against them or anything. He's just not into the whole spiritualness of it I think. Also, talking about the drugs is a trigger for him. And sometimes you can make contacts there for drugs (how obtuse is that?).
He also said that if he found that he was having trouble in his recovery and battling the mental and not being able to change his thinking and behavioural patterns, he wouldn't be beyond giving that a try again.
Before, I was the only one (other than his friends who also use) who knew of his problem and his wanting to quit. That was a big pressure for me; however, since he has started his recovery, he has now told his family and he now has their wholehearted support as well. I was there when he told them and he was completely honest with them about his past and usage.
He's doing really well and I am very proud of him. I'm not going to lie - I sort of wish he did go to meetings as well, but that has to be his decision, not mine. If I see him having trouble, I will bring it up as a suggestion again (his family suggested it to him when he told them).
Maybe someday.
Peace,
Mickey
He also said that if he found that he was having trouble in his recovery and battling the mental and not being able to change his thinking and behavioural patterns, he wouldn't be beyond giving that a try again.
Before, I was the only one (other than his friends who also use) who knew of his problem and his wanting to quit. That was a big pressure for me; however, since he has started his recovery, he has now told his family and he now has their wholehearted support as well. I was there when he told them and he was completely honest with them about his past and usage.
He's doing really well and I am very proud of him. I'm not going to lie - I sort of wish he did go to meetings as well, but that has to be his decision, not mine. If I see him having trouble, I will bring it up as a suggestion again (his family suggested it to him when he told them).
Maybe someday.
Peace,
Mickey
in theory I agree as far as it being a stepping stone ... but for many if you read their posts.. they have no intention of going to meetings... they seem quite happy with just being here... I am wondering why...
my guess is that it is convience and wanting to remain in the closet so to speak... I dont know.. that is why I am posing the question..
I truely dont believe that after there first sever posts (weeks) of being here that they simply dont know about going to meetings.. there is another step after the first one..Na/AA for many may not be the next step but there is a next step isnt there?
Teresa
btw.. thanks for your perspective....
my guess is that it is convience and wanting to remain in the closet so to speak... I dont know.. that is why I am posing the question..
I truely dont believe that after there first sever posts (weeks) of being here that they simply dont know about going to meetings.. there is another step after the first one..Na/AA for many may not be the next step but there is a next step isnt there?
Teresa
btw.. thanks for your perspective....
I guess it just goes back to the saying, "attraction rather than promotion." Some people will be attracted to your life and want what you have and that's when it's imperative that they follow your lead. Until then, people have to go through their own pain and realize AA/NA is the only option or the "last house on the block" so to speak. I think it's valuable to share what works for you. Continue to share your experience, strength and hope but realize people are on their own timeline. For me, I was desperate to get help and I had been clean for seven years prior so I knew where to go. I think it's great that you share your path with others.
Peace,
Rachel
Peace,
Rachel
Hi I'm really knew at this going online talking thing but I would like to give you my thoughts.I don't know if I want help or if I'm a lifer but I do know I need to at least find someone to talk to.My problem at least one is that I actually CAN NOT deal with being around people.I don't trust people I am just a freak I guess but I really don't mind being alone except for my daughters and my boyfriend.I am sooo afraid to even try to find a friend or someone who will talk to me.I guess you may think thats alot of bull but that is why I don't go to any kind of meeting.I only leave my apartment if I HAVE to
Rach and molly
rach..
I just love that saying... last house on the block... thanks for sharing as well...it is about attaction rather than promotion .. I guess my idea of attraction is hoping clear up any misconceptions about NA as a hole. Maybe shed some lite on what it might be as a unit not as an individual group or meeting
Molly..
you are not a freak... a lot of people are like that as far as they like being alone.. and as too whether you really want to quit.. you will know when you know.. it boils to for some when you get tired of being sick and tired... I wish your family well... as I do you.. thanks for sharing your perspective and keep hangin around... we are all here for each other..
Teresa
rach..
I just love that saying... last house on the block... thanks for sharing as well...it is about attaction rather than promotion .. I guess my idea of attraction is hoping clear up any misconceptions about NA as a hole. Maybe shed some lite on what it might be as a unit not as an individual group or meeting
Molly..
you are not a freak... a lot of people are like that as far as they like being alone.. and as too whether you really want to quit.. you will know when you know.. it boils to for some when you get tired of being sick and tired... I wish your family well... as I do you.. thanks for sharing your perspective and keep hangin around... we are all here for each other..
Teresa
Thanks Teresa - good topic. Depending upon the post, in my response I will frequently include a suggestion to check out NA/AA to assist in recovery. I don't judge folks who choose not to attend meetings, rather just want to pass along what works for me.
I've relapsed twice in the past couple of years because I got clean and then got complacent. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? So for me it's not just about getting clean, it's about staying clean that matters to me. So this time I've made a determined effort to stay close to people I can relate to and who will "watch my back" so to speak. By getting honest with myself I had to put my ego aside and admit that I can't do this alone.
Some meetings click for me, some don't. As they say in the rooms "take what you like and leave the rest". BTW, one of the real neat things for me is to bump into someone from NA/AA around town, and to just say hi. Right away I feel this special bond and realize once again that I'm not alone.
Just my .02 cents worth. Good luck to all in recovery!
Jim
I've relapsed twice in the past couple of years because I got clean and then got complacent. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? So for me it's not just about getting clean, it's about staying clean that matters to me. So this time I've made a determined effort to stay close to people I can relate to and who will "watch my back" so to speak. By getting honest with myself I had to put my ego aside and admit that I can't do this alone.
Some meetings click for me, some don't. As they say in the rooms "take what you like and leave the rest". BTW, one of the real neat things for me is to bump into someone from NA/AA around town, and to just say hi. Right away I feel this special bond and realize once again that I'm not alone.
Just my .02 cents worth. Good luck to all in recovery!
Jim
I still go to meetings (AA). I derive great benefit from them. But I now have a bit more humility about 12-Step programs being the only effective answer for everybody. Also, I only started attending AA more than 13 years ago because I'd run out of things to tell my wife that I was doing to quit drinking. lol So I agree, it often is the last house on the block, and we have to take our own paths getting there. Because I truly understand the resistance, having been there, I guess I don't interpret it as lacking a true desire to get clean/sober, or as looking for an easier softer way.
Once in AA, I threw myself in deep. Sponsorship, home group, service work, speaking engagements, 3-5 sponsees at a time, etc. I put together some pretty significant clean & sober time over the past 13 years. But I have had to start over three times due to pain pills. Until this last time out, I never really let the addiction run full course. Pain pills have been more insidious than alcohol or any other substance, for me. And no, it has not been because I stopped going to meetings, etc. I do not blame the program but myself; however, that said, self-blame gains me nothing. If shame were enough to keep me clean, I'd have it made. So this time I developed a different plan, not relying solely on AA or NA as the exclusive answer to my recovery. I've researched some other accepted approaches to recovery in the medical field, especially some of the CBT methods that really attack the screwed up thinking -- taking what is useful, leaving the rest. I'm also in weekly counseling. This is not to the exclusion of AA/NA meetings. In my view, the more tools I have, the better. It seems to be working for me, today. M.
Once in AA, I threw myself in deep. Sponsorship, home group, service work, speaking engagements, 3-5 sponsees at a time, etc. I put together some pretty significant clean & sober time over the past 13 years. But I have had to start over three times due to pain pills. Until this last time out, I never really let the addiction run full course. Pain pills have been more insidious than alcohol or any other substance, for me. And no, it has not been because I stopped going to meetings, etc. I do not blame the program but myself; however, that said, self-blame gains me nothing. If shame were enough to keep me clean, I'd have it made. So this time I developed a different plan, not relying solely on AA or NA as the exclusive answer to my recovery. I've researched some other accepted approaches to recovery in the medical field, especially some of the CBT methods that really attack the screwed up thinking -- taking what is useful, leaving the rest. I'm also in weekly counseling. This is not to the exclusion of AA/NA meetings. In my view, the more tools I have, the better. It seems to be working for me, today. M.
I went to a couple of meetings in the beginning of my recovery. One turn-off for me was that most everyone there was there for alcohol. No one really understood where I was coming from. I even had a woman move away from me and tell me she didn't want me to steal her pain pills from her purse. That embarrassed me. Another reason for not going is that they only offer the meeting on a Friday from 1 p.m.-4p.m. that's impossible for me to attend because I have to get my children from school and be in school myself. I asked my councelor if there was any other time to attend and she said no. That's just my personal experience and I'm sure it's not like that everywhere, but I just didn't like it.
Point to ponder!!! No-one who has thouroghly worked and lived by the program has EVER relapsed. EVER thats a strong word, but its true. The meetings for me and the lit. is a lifestyle based on recovery, if you dont like going to meetings or sharing with people, give yourself a break and get a NA basic text book. I dont want to push NA onto anybody but just let everyone know how it has worked for me. Also a lot of people get the words spiritual and religion confused, there is a difference. If you are a addict and are truly seeking recovery please give NA a chance or atleast pick up a NA book, it could be the best decision youve ever made. We are not alone. thanks
Dopeless, so nicely said! Loved your post. This thread was a great idea, Theresa. Sometimes the distance is a factor for me in attending meetings. However, when I was actively using that same distance would have been nothing to obtain pills. I try and keep that in perspective and fight every challenge to make meetings as often as possible. Now I feel lost without them. I can literally feel my resolve to stay clean weaken the longer I go without a meeting. I'm not thrilled with every single one, but it seems there is always something I gain. I could have never made it this far without NA. That is just a simple fact. I would love to encourage anyone who had an unpleasant experience, try again...and again. Find another group. Meetings around here are offered twice a day. Go to the evening meeting if the afternoon one doesn't suit you. I hated the first NA meeting I went to, so I tried AA for awhile (just changed the words) that wasnt exactly right for me either so I went back to NA. Turns out I was a little over sensitive at my first meeting. I didnt give it a proper chance. Even though it took me awhile to find the right group, I still knew it was necessary to keep trying. Yes, this board was a stepping stone, but just the first one of many. I came here first, listened, learned, and then followed the path of those before me who had succeeded. Now I can say as they do and did, this is what works. I guess if it seems to some that NA is really being pushed to people, that's why. When you find the answers to this nightmare, you want to share it. Much love and God bless, Kat
