Recharger

just need a recharging. been reading everyones post and cant muster much input, glad to see so many new folks getting help, sorry to see so much pain.
it has been a rough week i am feeling exhausted and achey. i wish i could put into words onto this board what i need. (no i am not craving drugs.) just having difficulties making decisions.
i feel drained. in the line of work i do i sometimes feel at the end of the week i have no more to give, then when i need to do things for myself, i am spent. i am at a cross roads on some bigger decisions in my life that intertwine with part of this healing process and i just dont know which path to take. the fear of trusting my own thoughts and decisions and abilities. second guessing myself, is always an issue. seems so easy to dish it out for everyone else, but when it comes to me i seem to need a guage to know what is normal vs. insanity.

put your good energy together and give me the strenght to make the right decisions for myself and decrease my need to obsess
Jam,
I am sorry to hear you are struggling right now. It is very good though that you are feeling strong in your sobriety. To not think of turning to drugs at the hard times is such a huge accomplishment. You have helped so many people continuosly & always show so much strength. thank you to for showing us that you can feel weekness to. Even if its not to use but just to feel overwhelmed. I pray that you can just let fate take you where you need to be. I pray that you will come out of the darkness to shine again for us like you always do. Please know that only when we have given all we can, do we truly recieve more then we ever have. Please take extra precious care of yourself this weekend & just allow yourself to crumble. Have a good cry then go take a hot bath & restructure yourself. Find something to get excited about. Realize that you have the great gift that is life & it is yours for the taking, You can spend tommorrow running or you can spend it nurturing yourself. Let everything else go because the only thing that matters right now is YOU. You have helped make this place a wonderful place again & I love you for it! Now give yourself some of the great wisdom you bestow upon us. Many hugs to you!
aea
hey jamv-
hang in there - and you've got all the energy i can muster for you; white light, bowing to rubber tree plant you name it!

my e- to you was returned. can't express enough without going on and on and on what a delicious family you have! i'll try and send it again. much to be grateful for!

amdist the insanity remember that:)
-jo
jo i think i got one email commenting on the pics. they were just olan mills, do you guys have those?
i am doing better, just needed the weekend to recharge, i will be hard at it tomorrow.
have to reboot the old brain.
got to talk to a good friend that has faced the challenge that i am struggling with (re. the big decision I am trying to make) so that has helped. She says keep fighting.
My health is still a huge challenge and that gets me a bit depressed, you never feel your best emotionally when you are down physically, but i will keep going as i always due, honestly i think i have been walking around with pnuemonia, (not the worse kind), but a mild version and steriods have kept me from falling over. but on a positive note, if i were smoking i would be in the bed or hospital.
everyone have a great week and thanks for the support when i was feeling down. hate to be gloomy but this life gets to me too.
Jamv, sorry I haven't been there for you these last few days.

My daughter had an asthma attack during her ringette game this weekend, even in the net, she works hard, it reminded me of how awful it must be for you.....she had to use her brother's inhaler, as this is the first time since she was a baby....so I need to get her to the doc to get her own inhaler......this cold weather and exercise really got to her....scared me big time. ((((((Jamv)))))