Well i saw it coming and i relapsed. Ive drank a few times and i used once. Im still with the guy ive been seein, who is also in recovery.My mom is still drinking and she drives me insane.
This relase wasnt as bad as some of my other ones in the past. but then again this is kinda the first time ive really been 100% clean.i went 4 years without touchin heroin w/o meds.Then i realised i replaced heroin with drinking which in the end did more harm then the heroin ever did to me in the past. Ive never shot up or anything so maybe thats y its easier for me to stay away from it...sometimes. My BF is also a heroin addict n before he relasped n brought it in to my house i never touched it since i quit in 04. But hes been clean for almost 3 weeks since the last time he used, with me. We met clean and thats how we like eachother. i cant stand him high, he cant stand me drunk and so on. Hes been outta rehab since sunday and i guess im kinda like starving for affection and ive been kinda anouying him lately. I kno his addiction and my moms r their problems and not mine, but when i watch them go thru what they go thru i see what i could very well turn in to if i dont stop while i still can. I started using in 03..i think. he started back when we were 13 (were 22) n my mom started drinkin when she was 15. so its alot easier for me to just stop then it is for them. but heres where im stuck... i have to get it through my head that recovery is more then just not using and that its a life style and that i need to fix myself to keep myself from using. i was an addict wayyyyyy before i ever picked up and im still an addict now even with the 3weeks clean i have. but whats next? besides meetings, a sponser, and God, how do i fix me? how do i get better? My life is perfect except for me.
I guess it's a day to day thing. When you do the steps and go to the meetings and ask God for help it will happen. It's not a big thing that the sky opens up and you love yourself so much and you're so happy. I think it's little miracles that happen in each day of sobriety. It adds up and one day you begin to think that you're doing okay and that you're not so bad. I just posted the twelve rewards that someone handed me in a meeting. I think when you start to reap the rewards you start to become happy and peaceful. Also I want to recommend a really good book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. It teaches us about self acceptance and how to love ourselves. How the thoughts we think create our future and how to change those thoughts to change our future. It may be in your local library or on Amazon or ebay. It's about ten dollars but may just change your life. Good luck! Alice
Sounds like your trying now that is what always counts. Yes, it is a lifelong struggle. I also have parents with addiction issues "BOTH of my parents". I have multi addiction issue but, heroin was the one that caused me the most problems. I have been off H 4 years in May. I know for sure if my fiance was a addict recovering or active it would make it A TON harder for me to not use. I have a very hard time keeping me off I can't see me being able to live with someone who had the same issues I know me... I know i'ld have us both using. Wishing you and your partner the best it's a hard road to travel together. I don't go to meetings been off methadone almost 3 years. You have to find what works for you what works for one person may not work for you at all you keep trying.
I once heard some one say that when an addict throws in the towel, they spend the rest of there life's trying to get litte pieces of it back. I believe to some extent this is very true. There is no doubt that recovering from drug addiction calls for a life time of vigilance. Low self esteem is something we all deal with. Just remember your only responsible for your own recovery. If some one close to you is jeopardizing it, ya have to distance your self from them.
please help my husband is a heroin addict an has been for 3 years he injects an i am anti drug i have tried to stick by him an gave him a very short leash but when my back is turned his in my purse an bank account he has even robbed my daughters gold an money out of her money jar he constantly lies an i cant believe a thing he says, i dont help him in any way getting drugs, an money he has i handle, an anything worth anything i have to hide i hate this life an cant bear it no more i love the man to bits we have not long had our baby boy an he seems to be manipulating me more cause i have antinatel deppression an i dont even realise his doing it at the time. he says he loves me more than life an has even asked me to kill him cause he dont want to be like this or hurt me anymore. i still love him but have given up hope an split up with him last week, he is due to go to rehab next week an wants me to be here when he gets out but i am 50 50 an have got stronger threw the crap he has put me threw i would love the happy dream an the perfect family but not sure its gonna come true should i wait for him or just carry on with my own life with my kids?
There is a family board which might be very helpful to you. It's good that he is giong to rehab. Only time will tell there. Can you look in the phone book or on-line for an al-anon meeting. You will meet other people there who are just like you. When you love someone who is sick like this sometimes you yourself can become sick. You allow that person to manipulate and hurt you. Al-anon is for families and loved ones of alcoholics and drug addicts. Take it one day at a time and think about attending a meeting. People are very nice and helpful. You may hear stories that sound exactly like yours. You will gain some strength to do what is best for you and your baby. Good luck!
