Its been awhile since i posted but i figured i'd speak out a little...i'm heading into rehab this weekend (latest tuesday) and I'm so excited...i need this foundation because i have been trying to work AA into my life for 3 years...i'm 27 and this time i really screwed up i don't know if i can call my past few relapses *relapses* anymore...i haven't been able to go a week clean and this past week and weekend i was in jail for stealing clothes that i put on and didn't even remember (never been in jail before) by saturday i had so much alcohol in me i passed out in Chicago at my friends condominium hallway and was taken by ambulance to the hospital...i don't even remember any of that...they said i should have been comotosed but i wasn't my blood alcohol level was over 300 which if very high...i know i cannot stop when i start and i have had clean time once before 7 months to be exact and this time i am losing everything...i know its one day at a time...i just would like everyone's blessing as when i go into rehab i want to leave w/ a better perception and take all the suggestion that my sponsor, sister pigeons, family & friends give me...i have no more chances and I'm young and still have my whole life ahead me.
well that's it for now..i'll talk to you all when i return from this 21-28 day program...
hugs,
jules
Hi Jules
I posted to you on the other thread too - but just read yuor story - and I know you probably feel like you have wrecked your life but its not too late to fix it.
You still have the chance to make something of your life and you are admitting your problem and seeking help and that is great. You have also admitted your powerlessness - keep admitting that everyday as it is the foundation of your recovery.
I'm sooooooo happy that you are being given this chance to break the cycle - grab hold of it and don't let anyone take it from you.
When you are able to get online again check in and let us know how things are going with you - lots of great people on here who will support and encourage you.
Sobriety is great and YOU are worth it Jules.
Idgie.
I posted to you on the other thread too - but just read yuor story - and I know you probably feel like you have wrecked your life but its not too late to fix it.
You still have the chance to make something of your life and you are admitting your problem and seeking help and that is great. You have also admitted your powerlessness - keep admitting that everyday as it is the foundation of your recovery.
I'm sooooooo happy that you are being given this chance to break the cycle - grab hold of it and don't let anyone take it from you.
When you are able to get online again check in and let us know how things are going with you - lots of great people on here who will support and encourage you.
Sobriety is great and YOU are worth it Jules.
Idgie.
Good luck Jules...
I agree with Idgie, I too had to realize I was powerless over alcohol and become honest, open and willing and once I opened the door a crack on the willingness, good things started happening...I learned to pray and I remember praying and surrendering trying to do things my way and I was then relieved from the obsession to drink/use....
Stay open, be honest with yourself and stay willing and the miracles will happen...
Check back in when you get out of rehab...
I will say a prayer for you...
xoxo
Stacey
I agree with Idgie, I too had to realize I was powerless over alcohol and become honest, open and willing and once I opened the door a crack on the willingness, good things started happening...I learned to pray and I remember praying and surrendering trying to do things my way and I was then relieved from the obsession to drink/use....
Stay open, be honest with yourself and stay willing and the miracles will happen...
Check back in when you get out of rehab...
I will say a prayer for you...
xoxo
Stacey
Dear Jules, It takes what it takes to recover from this horrible mental,physical disease. I recently surrendered that I need professional help. I surrendered I can't do it alone anymore. I started Intensive outpatient treatment & I'm seeing a private therapist. I'm already seeing good progress in just a wk in a half. Good for you that you have the courage to seek out professional treatment. AA can be great support system, but often it's not enough. I bet if you stop & think about people's ESH in AA you will remember many of them to needed some professional help. Jules you may feel that youv'e lost everything, but you havn't. Your still breathing, your still here for a reason. As long as your breathing there is hope! I can tell you want to get better, that your sick & tired of being sick. Jules thats half the battle right there. Youv'e already proven to yourself that you can be sober. You like me just need some tools & pro's to help us, along with the support of other loving, healthy human beings. I pray that God will be with you guiding & strenghing you on your path of recovery. I believe in you Jules! Please let us know how you are when you can. Their are many wonderful people on this board who will hold your hand, share their love, compassion & wisdom with you. Take Care, Chris
Jules,
I'm very happy you are going into rehab. You have a busy angel watching over you my friend. So grateful you made it through that night. You know maybe it took all that to show you how much you need help. You are so young. You have a huge life in front of you and wow to be able to get it now and live sober is such a great gift. I have you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope rehab gives you the tools you need to hang in there in the program and see that it can be a way of life that is truly blessed. Take care!
pm
I'm very happy you are going into rehab. You have a busy angel watching over you my friend. So grateful you made it through that night. You know maybe it took all that to show you how much you need help. You are so young. You have a huge life in front of you and wow to be able to get it now and live sober is such a great gift. I have you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope rehab gives you the tools you need to hang in there in the program and see that it can be a way of life that is truly blessed. Take care!
pm
Looking forward to hearing from you when you return from Rehab; best of luck to you!
*Waving* Hello All,
So I got out of rehab on Sunday and with the grace of god I have 28 days clean. Wow! It's been awhile since I had that much clean time for me that is. I feel good today. I'm finally starting to understand that it is ONE DAY AT A TIME! I'm not praying to God to help me with my future so much just FOR TODAY! and to guide me JUST FOR TODAY! I also found out that i have been mis-diagnosed for the past 3 years with bipolar when in fact I was never bipolar I have been OCD-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder all my life. I have always worried about what people thought of me, people pleaser, I would change my clothes 5x a day, I'd be in the mirror constantly, compulsively buy things, get hurt by others easily...etc....this all stemmed from my childhood...i had a good childhood but kids were mean growing up and back then I was diagnosed as learning disabled and my primary counselor and psychiatrist and rehab were literally shocked because quite frankly they saw me as a very intelligent woman. I'm slightly ADD but I was never able to concentrate on things when i was young because of never being diagnosed with all of this. I was so grateful to hear this. I did ask the counselors and psychiatrist if this could have played a part in my relapses throughout the years (not the whole part) but part of it and they said it sure does....because mental disorders (i'm not crazy by the way) but mental disorders untreated and trying to work a program if not treated together properly can be very difficult...I am now on medication and going to meetings everyday, talking to my sponsor EVERYDAY and i even did my first double header (AA meetings) that is last night. I am more focused, calm and relaxed. Praying every morning and every night. This was my second time out of rehab in 2 1/2 years and first time was in January 2005 and i'll tell you what a difference i didn't come out saying i was never going to drink again, nor did i know the program all together. I will always be learning something new about this program and finding out my character defects. Thank you guys for your support i'll definitely be on here more often and posting more....Truly in my heart I really want sobriety, I have peace today and i now know how that feels Just For Today!
Love Always,
Jules
So I got out of rehab on Sunday and with the grace of god I have 28 days clean. Wow! It's been awhile since I had that much clean time for me that is. I feel good today. I'm finally starting to understand that it is ONE DAY AT A TIME! I'm not praying to God to help me with my future so much just FOR TODAY! and to guide me JUST FOR TODAY! I also found out that i have been mis-diagnosed for the past 3 years with bipolar when in fact I was never bipolar I have been OCD-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder all my life. I have always worried about what people thought of me, people pleaser, I would change my clothes 5x a day, I'd be in the mirror constantly, compulsively buy things, get hurt by others easily...etc....this all stemmed from my childhood...i had a good childhood but kids were mean growing up and back then I was diagnosed as learning disabled and my primary counselor and psychiatrist and rehab were literally shocked because quite frankly they saw me as a very intelligent woman. I'm slightly ADD but I was never able to concentrate on things when i was young because of never being diagnosed with all of this. I was so grateful to hear this. I did ask the counselors and psychiatrist if this could have played a part in my relapses throughout the years (not the whole part) but part of it and they said it sure does....because mental disorders (i'm not crazy by the way) but mental disorders untreated and trying to work a program if not treated together properly can be very difficult...I am now on medication and going to meetings everyday, talking to my sponsor EVERYDAY and i even did my first double header (AA meetings) that is last night. I am more focused, calm and relaxed. Praying every morning and every night. This was my second time out of rehab in 2 1/2 years and first time was in January 2005 and i'll tell you what a difference i didn't come out saying i was never going to drink again, nor did i know the program all together. I will always be learning something new about this program and finding out my character defects. Thank you guys for your support i'll definitely be on here more often and posting more....Truly in my heart I really want sobriety, I have peace today and i now know how that feels Just For Today!
Love Always,
Jules
Jules...
Welcome back...
<smiling> Thank you for sharing your ESH...I needed to read that this morning....You sound absolutely awesome and I am so happy for you....
God is good and you are a miracle!
(((hugs)))
Stacey
Welcome back...
<smiling> Thank you for sharing your ESH...I needed to read that this morning....You sound absolutely awesome and I am so happy for you....
God is good and you are a miracle!
(((hugs)))
Stacey
Glad you came back and checked in Jules like you said you would - I know it seems like a little thing but keep your committments even the little ones is a big part of sobriety.
I know for myself when I drank I couldn't keep any kind of committments I made, every time we keep committments it strengthens us and when we break them it weakens us.
Sounds like you had a good experience at rehab I'm so glad. You are doing great one day at a time.
take care now
Idgie.
I know for myself when I drank I couldn't keep any kind of committments I made, every time we keep committments it strengthens us and when we break them it weakens us.
Sounds like you had a good experience at rehab I'm so glad. You are doing great one day at a time.
take care now
Idgie.
Welcome back Jules! Thank you so much for sharing...I can identify for both me and my daughter with the OCD stuff....I'm glad you are doing well....you sound like you are doing the deal!
Good Luck Jules. Stick with the program. My dad did and he's was sober for 20 years....'it works if you work it' he always said.
