I finally after many calls, begging etc got my son into rehab. I was so excited because they offer suboxene as an alternative to heroin and the state covers the cost. All he had to do was go to outpatient 9 hours a week to get the state funded drug. Sounds perfect, right? The day he got out of rehab he started shooting meth, sold his suboxene , smoked crack, shot heroin and you all know the deal. Now he is homeless in Missouri refusing to go to sober living or back in rehab. He wants to come to Florida and live with me and Im refusing to give him a dime , im pretty proud of myself, this website has saved me from enabling the drug addict manipulative behavior. If he wont help himself I am not about to send my disability money to support his habit. Ive offered to pay for sober living, but he wants me to get him an apt or come here. Ive accepted the fact he may die from this disease and that's a harsh reality to take.
Like you, this forum helps me every day. I get on here an read stories from today, from a year ago....they're all the same, we all share the same story. It changes a little here and there but it makes me know I'm not alone. You're not alone either. It helps me to stay strong and not get manipulated. It's hard to hold firm when your addict is calling you crying or in need but they have the power to change their lives. I keep reminding myself that if we lived the life our AS lives, we would not have money, food or a roof over our heads either. Stay strong!
Michelle
Michelle
Angelash65~
((Hugs)) Addiction is such a powerful, cunning thing and senseless. The insanity that occurs cannot be put properly into words, I've watched it and I've lived it and years down the road, in recovery for both my alcoholism and from the effects of loving an alcoholic/addict, there are times I still just stop and shake my head.
What you posted hit me. I remember this moment for me clearly and it's been 8 years since the clarity came.
I remember my son had just been released from juvenile hall, again, and went straight back to using and trying to manipulate me by threatening suicide and I was just one hot mess. I remember walking into my 12step meeting and just crying, broken because I felt so hopeless with this child of mine, he was just 15 years old and God sent his messenger and that came in the form of my friend, Donna K. who had over 30 years of sobriety and she hugged me and told me that her daughter struggled years before and she had to let go and accept the reality that this disease could kill her and it might but there was nothing more in her power she could do to change that. It was that moment that I knew, deep down, that I had tried everything possible to fix, cure, change my son and there was nothing left for me to do but to let go & let God and that meant, for me, to accept the fact he might not make it out alive. That it was a real possibility he may die from his addictions. That was the moment that I embraced the road to recovery for my codependency.
I'm currently involved in Alanon as I qualified at birth, being raised in an alcoholic home, by parents who had been raised in alcoholic homes, and then being an alcoholic myself I passed along a lot of those dysfunctional ideas and ways that I thought were truth.
My son is currently 25yrs old and has suffered many of the affects that comes from long term meth use and currently residing in jail 3 states away from where we live. He's alive and God has him exactly where he needs to be and he's probably going to do a long stint this time but this is his journey, his choices, his life to live and I love him but I don't involve myself anymore with his choices nor do I engage a lot of times when he's in the middle of the drama's that comes when the addict isn't in recovery.
I will keep you in my prayers. Keep taking exquisite care of yourself and I don't know your story so I don't know if you've been to an Alanon meeting but if you haven't, try some. There you will find so many people going through similar situations and working together with hope.
Take care,
Stacey
((Hugs)) Addiction is such a powerful, cunning thing and senseless. The insanity that occurs cannot be put properly into words, I've watched it and I've lived it and years down the road, in recovery for both my alcoholism and from the effects of loving an alcoholic/addict, there are times I still just stop and shake my head.
What you posted hit me. I remember this moment for me clearly and it's been 8 years since the clarity came.
| QUOTE |
| Ive accepted the fact he may die from this disease and that's a harsh reality to take. |
I remember my son had just been released from juvenile hall, again, and went straight back to using and trying to manipulate me by threatening suicide and I was just one hot mess. I remember walking into my 12step meeting and just crying, broken because I felt so hopeless with this child of mine, he was just 15 years old and God sent his messenger and that came in the form of my friend, Donna K. who had over 30 years of sobriety and she hugged me and told me that her daughter struggled years before and she had to let go and accept the reality that this disease could kill her and it might but there was nothing more in her power she could do to change that. It was that moment that I knew, deep down, that I had tried everything possible to fix, cure, change my son and there was nothing left for me to do but to let go & let God and that meant, for me, to accept the fact he might not make it out alive. That it was a real possibility he may die from his addictions. That was the moment that I embraced the road to recovery for my codependency.
I'm currently involved in Alanon as I qualified at birth, being raised in an alcoholic home, by parents who had been raised in alcoholic homes, and then being an alcoholic myself I passed along a lot of those dysfunctional ideas and ways that I thought were truth.
My son is currently 25yrs old and has suffered many of the affects that comes from long term meth use and currently residing in jail 3 states away from where we live. He's alive and God has him exactly where he needs to be and he's probably going to do a long stint this time but this is his journey, his choices, his life to live and I love him but I don't involve myself anymore with his choices nor do I engage a lot of times when he's in the middle of the drama's that comes when the addict isn't in recovery.
I will keep you in my prayers. Keep taking exquisite care of yourself and I don't know your story so I don't know if you've been to an Alanon meeting but if you haven't, try some. There you will find so many people going through similar situations and working together with hope.
Take care,
Stacey
Send him to this thread so he can read this:
"If he wont help himself I am not about to send my disability money to support his habit. Ive offered to pay for sober living, but he wants me to get him an apt or come here. Ive accepted the fact he may die from this disease and that's a harsh reality to take."
Prayers to your family.
Bob R
"If he wont help himself I am not about to send my disability money to support his habit. Ive offered to pay for sober living, but he wants me to get him an apt or come here. Ive accepted the fact he may die from this disease and that's a harsh reality to take."
Prayers to your family.
Bob R
