I'm new here. This is my first post. I started smoking crack two years ago. Since then I've been through rehab, lost two jobs and working on losing my family. The life of partying and getting high, as selfish as this sounds, is fun and addicting in itself. So, not only am I addicted to crack cocaine, I'm addicted to the lifestyle I've experienced while using. I go away to a place that I can't find without it. The high is not of this earth. The sex is something of another universe. The hell is the aftermath. The guilt, depression, and the lack of interest in the simple things that make most people happy. What is an addict to do when he enjoys his hell on earth? I'm starting to feel that this is who I am. But, it's not what defines me. It's just a part of the puzzle that makes me the beast I have come to know, and I'm not ready to change this beast. How long will I live? Only God knows I suppose.
Don't worry too much, life will get worse. When you are done "glorifying" the pain and suffering, not just yors, but your family's, there is a way out.
