Hi... I relapsed big time last night... was feeling so s*** about myself I drank wine and rum and got blind drunk... my mum said I was wandering about the house at 4am and I don't remember any of it... I haven't done that for at least a year... Tonight I am back on track and don't have anything to drink at all...
Haven't been posting as I've been really down... so well that's what I did anyway... but I'm fixing it.
Izzy X
the important thing is not to beat yourself up about it,put it down to experience and add it to your recovery tool box..
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Maybe you do have to stop completely. The last post a while ago said you had just one beer or something and that was cool etc. When I read it I thought, oh no.......know the signs, the one beer escalates into full on bingeing.
Still, what does it matter. Getting drunk was obviously part of your journey to being sober!
Good Luck.
Still, what does it matter. Getting drunk was obviously part of your journey to being sober!
Good Luck.
Hey Iz, My daughter relapsed too....pick yourself up and dust yourself...I'm glad you are putting the drink down quickly...that's growth...I'm glad you posted, I've been down and depressed as of late; in fact, several people I know have been lately too.
Hey guys... thanks for the replies... I am gonna ask to get into rehab...
I am really depressed and found myself about to slash my feet because I had an itch... and thought to myself if I just cut them it would just be sore then and not bother me... crazy thoughts... I feel like I'm losing it...
I can't be bothered with life at the moment... I'm too down...
Anyway... I hope your daughter is ok VW and gets back on track soon... I'm thinking about her...
Regards
Izzy X
I am really depressed and found myself about to slash my feet because I had an itch... and thought to myself if I just cut them it would just be sore then and not bother me... crazy thoughts... I feel like I'm losing it...
I can't be bothered with life at the moment... I'm too down...
Anyway... I hope your daughter is ok VW and gets back on track soon... I'm thinking about her...
Regards
Izzy X
Hey Izzy, I am so happy that you are thinking of rehab ~ I bet you will learn coping skills there. My daughter did, but she doesn't always apply them, perhaps 15% of the time and the rest of the time she is angry, with rage or just over the top happy! She will be okay one way or the other, I've done mostly everything I can to show her a better way of life, but if she doesn't want it, it is not up to me to try to convince her and control her. I bet your Mom would be so happy if you got treatment for this f'd up disease. I know it just makes me feel phenomenal when my kids are happy, safe and healthy...that's all I want for them and I bet your Mom wants that for you too! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help...
Hi VW... the way you describe your daughter is just like me... except I suffer severe depression too... My head is all over the place right now... I have another appointment with my alcohol counsellor tomorrow and my mum said I should show her my diary I've been keeping as I've been writing about things that have happened in the past too when I've been drinking and getting out of control... like I almost set fire to the house on one occassion when I put something in the oven and fell asleep drunk... and the smoke alarm went off in the middle of the night and my dad had to take the whole thing outside because of all the smoke... i mean I'm a danger to myself... What if I was to do something like that again??? It doesn't even bear thinking about...
Anyway thanks again...
Izzy X
Anyway thanks again...
Izzy X
Izzy...share with your therapist...honestly and openly...It really is the only way to get the help you need...I have been there...depression so deep...so deep and dark...and this was even after I stopped drinking...It was being honest with my therapist that got me the help I desparately needed...And it turned my life around...{{{HUGS}}} Love Gina
Hi Izzy,
Hang in there! Remember drinking does not make anything any better, even if it feels that way temporarily. I am reminded that I must remain honest otherwise if I am not, I stand a chance of drinking again. As Gina suggested in her post, try to get honest....it's great that you are journaling, that helps me too!
Hang in there! Remember drinking does not make anything any better, even if it feels that way temporarily. I am reminded that I must remain honest otherwise if I am not, I stand a chance of drinking again. As Gina suggested in her post, try to get honest....it's great that you are journaling, that helps me too!
Hey VW... Gina... I shared everything today with my counsellor and she ended up telling my mum that if she was really worried about me getting suicidal then she would have to phone the emergency doctor and get a referral to the Psych ward here... I've been really down for days now and a few days back I considered taking all my pills at once with a bottle of rum and just finishing it all... I can get into rehab if I want though which is good...
Anyway... just trying to get back on track with things...
Izzy XX
Anyway... just trying to get back on track with things...
Izzy XX
Hi Izzy...I am glad you told your therapist...and the rehab sounds like a great idea...Keep sharing Izzy...Believe me I know those dark days....Many years ago I sat in a corner crying...while my 2 girls...3 and 1 yrs old...cried in their room...I was Paralyzed by depression and wanted to kill myself....I just wanted to die...my husband (xh now)...walked in from work....called my doctor....and I got some help...I ended up being able to be treated at home with meds and my psychatrist...but they had a bed ready for me at a facility if I needed it...
That incident taught me the value of honesty....all I do is hurt myself if I am not honest....Hang in there Izzy...know you are not alone...and take whatever help is offered...You Are Worth It! Love Gina
That incident taught me the value of honesty....all I do is hurt myself if I am not honest....Hang in there Izzy...know you are not alone...and take whatever help is offered...You Are Worth It! Love Gina
Izzy,
I have a similar story as Gina's....with all that is going on with my youngest daughter, believe me at times it feels like it is killing me slowly...other times I'm pretty good...however, I am seeing a Therapist and attend alot of Family Group sessions.....life goes to, to quickly....there is a solution and there is hope. Don't give up, wait for the miracle, you can't know when it will come, or how it will come but it will...keep on keepin' on.
I have a similar story as Gina's....with all that is going on with my youngest daughter, believe me at times it feels like it is killing me slowly...other times I'm pretty good...however, I am seeing a Therapist and attend alot of Family Group sessions.....life goes to, to quickly....there is a solution and there is hope. Don't give up, wait for the miracle, you can't know when it will come, or how it will come but it will...keep on keepin' on.
Thanks Gina and VW... I sometimes keep things back from my mum because I want to protect her... but i always let it out in the end...
I'm gonna give the rehab a serious think... also because I have a holiday to Germany in April and I want to be fine for that...
I groomed my boy tonight... It took me 2 hours... (He's a Mini Schnauzer)... but well worth the effort... he's so smart now and clean and tidy... I had been neglecting him when i was really depressed... but I'm feeling better now... and so does my dog... :-)
Anyway... everyone take care and thanks...
Izzy X
I'm gonna give the rehab a serious think... also because I have a holiday to Germany in April and I want to be fine for that...
I groomed my boy tonight... It took me 2 hours... (He's a Mini Schnauzer)... but well worth the effort... he's so smart now and clean and tidy... I had been neglecting him when i was really depressed... but I'm feeling better now... and so does my dog... :-)
Anyway... everyone take care and thanks...
Izzy X
Izzy,
Glad to see your recent post, sounds like you are much better...and I'm glad you are giving rehab a serious thought. Although sobriety doesn't guarantee that we will feel "yippy skippy" everyday...I will let you know my worse day sober is way better than my best day drunk. Hang in there!
Geri
Glad to see your recent post, sounds like you are much better...and I'm glad you are giving rehab a serious thought. Although sobriety doesn't guarantee that we will feel "yippy skippy" everyday...I will let you know my worse day sober is way better than my best day drunk. Hang in there!
Geri
Hi... yeah the rehab is a serious consideration... I've got so much to think about though regarding... and some of it I don't want to post up on this website... but I know I'll make an informed choice about it all...
Thanks for all your support everyone..
Izzy X
Thanks for all your support everyone..
Izzy X
