Sup All,
Kickin maself tonight, Had crazy argument with family about sommin really bonkers, and sadly gave into temptatian dammit, Straight for a 10 Bag, Fortunately i have nvr dug gear Thank god <Addictive Personality>my self control would disappear-(, But sat here thinkin u idiot ,Lol i've been sat takin me hours to smoke it,
Ffs peeps help me out here, Would talking 2 a drugs worker do me any good coz it's been 11 days and i'm only on 1 2mg subby a day, For some mad reason my mindset kicked-in an today like ooh done 11 days, Money Landed and the rest is frazzled,
Inc comments coz i'm unable speak with family or friends as they've seen me go from just 9-Stone to 11-4 atm and i'm just getting my caring unselfism me back-(
P.s Don't hold back with the com's, i know relapses happen but stupidly thaught i they wouldnt 2 me, and smokin it tonight feels like in back at 1,
L8's and Tc shane^ x
Shane,
Hopefully you will forgive me, but some of your post I can't understand..........it's not YOU.........alot of times I get some of the slang and stuff mixed all up.....because ya know us Yanks we talk the right way.......LOL.......but yeah for the most part I get the main thing of your post.
You mean you had in eleven days clean..............like from the dope........if that's what ya mean I was gonna say well for me anyway my big time to cave after kicking or while kicking was on day ten...........DAY 10.........did me in a billion times.............so maybe it's because we really start to feel better......and well we're addicts, Shane.
Since ya had a fight with your family it makes perfect sense..........rather no sense, but we don't deal with real life............and then clean first sign of any tensions off we go to what we know that will fix it.
Shane think like this:
LAPSE NOT RELAPSE!
Pretty sure everyone will tell ya not to beat yourself up...........but we hate it when we do so well and BAM............I used to believe in that thing "Ya Pick Up Before Ya Pick Up"...............almost like in the back of our minds we are just waiting.............waiting on a fight or for it to rain or whatever cause we know we will go pick back up.
Not sure how your drug workers go............and wasn't sure what ya meant about such and such stone........ATM, to me is a bank machine.........LOL....so just don't pay me no mind.
Ya caved and gave i n and went to what you know...............and once ya see what triggered that now ya know...........what did it solve.........nada.......you're doing good though so give yourself some credit, Shane.........we never give ourselves credit for the good we do.................only the bad stuff......you just stay tight, aight? Sorry if that was no help.
Hopefully you will forgive me, but some of your post I can't understand..........it's not YOU.........alot of times I get some of the slang and stuff mixed all up.....because ya know us Yanks we talk the right way.......LOL.......but yeah for the most part I get the main thing of your post.
You mean you had in eleven days clean..............like from the dope........if that's what ya mean I was gonna say well for me anyway my big time to cave after kicking or while kicking was on day ten...........DAY 10.........did me in a billion times.............so maybe it's because we really start to feel better......and well we're addicts, Shane.
Since ya had a fight with your family it makes perfect sense..........rather no sense, but we don't deal with real life............and then clean first sign of any tensions off we go to what we know that will fix it.
Shane think like this:
LAPSE NOT RELAPSE!
Pretty sure everyone will tell ya not to beat yourself up...........but we hate it when we do so well and BAM............I used to believe in that thing "Ya Pick Up Before Ya Pick Up"...............almost like in the back of our minds we are just waiting.............waiting on a fight or for it to rain or whatever cause we know we will go pick back up.
Not sure how your drug workers go............and wasn't sure what ya meant about such and such stone........ATM, to me is a bank machine.........LOL....so just don't pay me no mind.
Ya caved and gave i n and went to what you know...............and once ya see what triggered that now ya know...........what did it solve.........nada.......you're doing good though so give yourself some credit, Shane.........we never give ourselves credit for the good we do.................only the bad stuff......you just stay tight, aight? Sorry if that was no help.
Alright Shane? I read somewhere once, it's not how many times we fall down, it's the getting back up that counts.
So you feel like sh*t for using? Well that is one good thing. Start again tomorrow mate and learn from your mistake, it happens, it happened to me a good few times last year, but hopefully i've learned from my mistakes. Keep posting Shane. Take it easy, Kev
So you feel like sh*t for using? Well that is one good thing. Start again tomorrow mate and learn from your mistake, it happens, it happened to me a good few times last year, but hopefully i've learned from my mistakes. Keep posting Shane. Take it easy, Kev
hey shane, bummer re your lapse but don't worry! the best thing is not to think, ok i've used so i've screwed up so sod it, i may as well use again. one lapse doesn't need to mean a total relapse!! you used but don't beat yourself up about it. you can use the experience to learn from - realise that situations that are really stressful like that make you want to use and hopefully be prepared next time, eg. get out of the house if poss etc...
one of the best things i've ever read about the addiction/ stopping/ relapsing etc... is this - you didn't use one day and wake up the following day with all the behaviours and thoughts and rituals and actions and everything else that goes with your addiction. it has taken however many months or years to get to this point. therefore, you cannot expect to be able to change all those behaviours and thoughts and rituals and actions and everything else that goes with your addiction overnight!
i know that sounds really obvious but i think it's an important point to remember as it's so easy to get impatient and frustrated and angry at your own progress, or lack of it. but you have to give yourself a chance to re learn your thoughts and behaviours.
so in this case, don't beat yourself up about it. you're not a superhuman! you'll make mistakes but just pick yourself up and think of them as bumps on the road along your journey.
i think 11 days is bloody impressive - you've done 11 days without and 1 day with!!!!! you can keep it 1 day with and change the 11 days without.
you'll be cool, don't worry.
one of the best things i've ever read about the addiction/ stopping/ relapsing etc... is this - you didn't use one day and wake up the following day with all the behaviours and thoughts and rituals and actions and everything else that goes with your addiction. it has taken however many months or years to get to this point. therefore, you cannot expect to be able to change all those behaviours and thoughts and rituals and actions and everything else that goes with your addiction overnight!
i know that sounds really obvious but i think it's an important point to remember as it's so easy to get impatient and frustrated and angry at your own progress, or lack of it. but you have to give yourself a chance to re learn your thoughts and behaviours.
so in this case, don't beat yourself up about it. you're not a superhuman! you'll make mistakes but just pick yourself up and think of them as bumps on the road along your journey.
i think 11 days is bloody impressive - you've done 11 days without and 1 day with!!!!! you can keep it 1 day with and change the 11 days without.
you'll be cool, don't worry.
i am sorry to read your post..by all means talk to your drug worker,but don't beat yourself up-you made a mistake.. thank god you don't inject my 21 yr old daughter injects and has a blood clot in her groin,and has had all sorts of help treatments and is back on heroin currently in police custody as we speak, is homeless lost 2 flats in the last 3 years,and is banned from having a flat for life in our area...
so don't feel all is lost.. you are doing well to get this far....
best of luck
so don't feel all is lost.. you are doing well to get this far....
best of luck
Yeah, where's Shane?
Hey,
Been off the boards awhile and just checked ya comments now,
All of makin sense and 2 u guys Nice-one ;)
Have been clean (Totally) just 13 days but have had money in-between and not wanted to, s*** i've got coin now and could just nip round the corner but no,
Now my mind makes the decision and not the body so i pre-empt(SP) what's gonna happen and don't take myself to that place,
Gonna stop chatting bubbles now but serious thx 2 u guys coz nobodys alone if they reach out),
Thx Bryn Dee4life and the rest of ya, Just started Cisco(Networking) at college but will check and post weekly if not daily)
L8's Shane x
Been off the boards awhile and just checked ya comments now,
All of makin sense and 2 u guys Nice-one ;)
Have been clean (Totally) just 13 days but have had money in-between and not wanted to, s*** i've got coin now and could just nip round the corner but no,
Now my mind makes the decision and not the body so i pre-empt(SP) what's gonna happen and don't take myself to that place,
Gonna stop chatting bubbles now but serious thx 2 u guys coz nobodys alone if they reach out),
Thx Bryn Dee4life and the rest of ya, Just started Cisco(Networking) at college but will check and post weekly if not daily)
L8's Shane x
Great, great news Shane...........good for you........hopefully ya can check in........and best of luck with your college stuff..........you're doing good.
Today makes it TWO WEEKS!
There you go..........no flies on you, Shane!
Today makes it TWO WEEKS!
There you go..........no flies on you, Shane!
