Before I get started on my short diary today, I've got to ask JUSTONEMORE, aka Al, where do you get all of thoses cute moving pix you keep coming up
with? I've GOT to know. Well, on with the thought process again. You noticed Linda and Al that I'm still coming back and will probably even alot more starting next week. (I hope you don't mind me calling you by your 1st names. Should I say Justonemore and Lindella?). Here, I haven't been to these boards a whole lot, but I feel like I already know some of you. Just reading word for word on all these posts kinda clues me in. Now, as you can see by the title of this, I'm not sure what kind of feelings I am feeling yet. I feel like I have butterflies in me and they are kind of agitating me somehow. Being since I haven't really had a good "dry" day yet, maybe that's the little demons inside of me at work telling me they want to hurry and get out. Time will tell. Our treatment will be twice a week, 3 hrs at a time (ish) for 10 weeks, and then aftercare of 10 more weeks at 1 1/2 hrs 1 day per week. I hope they go by fast! I'm anxious to hopefully not get any jail or prison time, and want to find a job right away, or maybe get my old one back. We had our final assessments yesterday and today we did the financial. Being neither of us are working, the state is going to pay for this, so that is another load off of the mind ! (3300.00 each!) So today, after we got home, it was like a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I'm sure that this is a blessing in disguise. We could've ended up alot worse, or even dead. Time to settle down, sow some wild oats, and maybe in a few years, become grandparents. Not yet tho! I feel relaxed for the first time in over a year. It's a wonderful warm, fuzzy feeling all over. I don't ever want it to go away. Yet,,,,,I'm also scared, because I have no clue what is to happen at these meetings. My husband & I can't be in the same meeting of course. They said maybe down the road, but not to start out with. It's gonna be scary and lonely without him by my side to make sure I don't screw up on saying the wrong things, or acting too "strangely", or talking too much, or not enough. Besides, it'll always be thru the dinner hour, which sucks! Oh well, I'll be able to lose some weight then maybe. (I'll just pretend I'm in an all girls school learning some new classes-hah!) .A week from tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of our life, or however that goes. I'm praying it won't tear our family even farther apart. I've got to see our daughter before she graduates in June. It's been a year and a month now since we've gotten to see or speak to our baby, and that weighs so heavily on my mind. I built my world around her, and now the joy and happiness is gone from my life. It's just like grieving they say, but worse? I just can't get the thought out of my head no matter how many anti-depressents I take. Well, I promise to keep checking in with you guys & giving you progress reports. I hope they're good and I'll be happy. I've never really been happy my whole life, so I think now is a good time to start feeling alive again, wanted, and wised up.I'd better not jump the gun tho - I'll back off the happiness til next week and then we'll see what becomes of me.....Friend? Foe? Enemy? Coward? Chicken? Immature? Stupid! Silly?? I just don't know what name fits me right now, so I'll sign off before you all fall fast asleep reading this apistle (sp?). Love and luck to you all. We can all do it if we put our hearts and minds to it. Right? Right! As long as this wonderful message board is always hear to fall on, I'll be in heaven. Good nite to you all - until the next day....
You can call me anything you would like .......hopefully it will be AL or justonemore, or JOM . hahaha. You sound quite a bit more upbeat about things, even though you are feeling scared .
It is no wonder you feel scared, you have a lot on your plate right now. A lot of big changes in your life and lifestyle . Just remember if you keep using , it will always feel like this , ...full of turmoil . If you stay strong and work through your addiction .... it will all become a story of the past , Life is better without having to get high ...
now I am going to go wake up feeling lost and ask her what's up .
hahaha, ooops. g'night all AL
It is no wonder you feel scared, you have a lot on your plate right now. A lot of big changes in your life and lifestyle . Just remember if you keep using , it will always feel like this , ...full of turmoil . If you stay strong and work through your addiction .... it will all become a story of the past , Life is better without having to get high ...
now I am going to go wake up feeling lost and ask her what's up .
hahaha, ooops. g'night all AL
Justonemore, thanks for the kind words. You always know how to make someones day brighter, don't you. That's a nice quality to have. Yes, I've been feeling a little more upbeat about things now. I think just the tension of going through 2-3 hrs of Probation Officers, questions all the time, 2 4hr chemical dependency assessments. Just being in a "state hospital" and a court house full of cops makes me very very nervous!! After the 2nd 4hr one, they rated my husband as a chemical dependant, and me as a chemical abuser. Don't quite know what the difference is, but I'm sure I'll be finding out. Also we had to go through 2 financial assessments, yuck! We're also fighting to get our house back, hopefully within a few weeks before court along with alot of our belongings, which they had no right to take, and $45,000 in cash! So, whew! Through all the assessments, financial junk, probation officers, and all I really got left stressful is a complete physical the end of the next week ( I detest Doctors - I really do) and then next Tuesday evening starting in treatment, and then of course, the magical day, March 14 - to find out if we have lives anymore or not. Well, of course I rambled and rambled on again - sorry! BUT YOU NEVER DID TELL ME WHERE YOU FIND THOSE CUTE MOVING ANIMALS YOU PUT WITH YOUR NOTES HERE. I'VE GOT TO KNOW!!!
there are lots of sites that have avatars, or the ones I use are animated gif files found at all sorts of sites, take any one of those, or even a picture you have on your computer. load it into a file created by you , for you at
http://photobucket.com/
each file will then have a url address you can enter in "edit my avatar " under "my settings"
You never have to apologize for rambling , you feel better afterwards right??? so be it . Maybe an added benefit will be someone else seeing what all you are going through and use it to stop using .
Everyone always thinks it wont happen to them , I'll bet you never thought it would be . Well it does happen to anyone and everyone . I'm sure Marion Barry thought he would never get into trouble , let me think who else had it made and lost it due to addiction ... Darryl Strawberry, Lawrence Taylor, the list is endless . There were many who learned quickly, and only went through the system once. (I am assuming this is your first real trouble with the law , judging by the way they are handling your case, I have seen friends go through this also , it may seem like the end of the world ....it isnt ) Look at the bright side ...what has happened to those who werent stopped in their addiction ...Like .....Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin , Belushi ,
Call me an optimist , but I like to believe that if you were simply an addict, and not particularly endangering others . That most court systems will recognize that fact and allow you the chance to recover.
I'll shut up on that one ...I am about to ramble on about the legal system Ok, I will admit I use the term optimist loosely when it comes to the justice system , but as with all walks of life ...there are good ones, and bad ones ( courts, judges, attorneys, and people in general ) ( sorry to put attorneys and people in the same group ) ( OK, that was an attorney joke , get off my back !!!)
I'm gonna get in trouble if I dont sign off here hahahaha .
<<justonemore slips off into the underground and disappears, never to be heard from again>>> just jokin .... I think?? AL
http://photobucket.com/
each file will then have a url address you can enter in "edit my avatar " under "my settings"
You never have to apologize for rambling , you feel better afterwards right??? so be it . Maybe an added benefit will be someone else seeing what all you are going through and use it to stop using .
Everyone always thinks it wont happen to them , I'll bet you never thought it would be . Well it does happen to anyone and everyone . I'm sure Marion Barry thought he would never get into trouble , let me think who else had it made and lost it due to addiction ... Darryl Strawberry, Lawrence Taylor, the list is endless . There were many who learned quickly, and only went through the system once. (I am assuming this is your first real trouble with the law , judging by the way they are handling your case, I have seen friends go through this also , it may seem like the end of the world ....it isnt ) Look at the bright side ...what has happened to those who werent stopped in their addiction ...Like .....Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin , Belushi ,
Call me an optimist , but I like to believe that if you were simply an addict, and not particularly endangering others . That most court systems will recognize that fact and allow you the chance to recover.
I'll shut up on that one ...I am about to ramble on about the legal system Ok, I will admit I use the term optimist loosely when it comes to the justice system , but as with all walks of life ...there are good ones, and bad ones ( courts, judges, attorneys, and people in general ) ( sorry to put attorneys and people in the same group ) ( OK, that was an attorney joke , get off my back !!!)
I'm gonna get in trouble if I dont sign off here hahahaha .
<<justonemore slips off into the underground and disappears, never to be heard from again>>> just jokin .... I think?? AL
Bump.......here is how to do it , on this post.....up a reply or so
Just to clarify it .....check "use avatar from other website" enter URL.
that is why you need the photobucket place.....to give your selections a URL to enter.
you can even use pics you might have , like monster kitty has a pic of her lil one,....if you are watching often, I have even popped up my ugly mug a few times ....
there may be other ways to do it, but that's the one I used ...
as to the sites I get mine?? I have to have a few secrets . but ya might try checking "clip art" "animated gif's" to get ya started
that is why you need the photobucket place.....to give your selections a URL to enter.
you can even use pics you might have , like monster kitty has a pic of her lil one,....if you are watching often, I have even popped up my ugly mug a few times ....
there may be other ways to do it, but that's the one I used ...
as to the sites I get mine?? I have to have a few secrets . but ya might try checking "clip art" "animated gif's" to get ya started
Justonemore, THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU!! I can't wait until I have time to figure it out. I won't right away cuz I don't want to be called a copycat. There may be others that followed you too. Oh well - you'll be famous!! Yes, this is my first dealings with the courts, legal system, etc....and it's gonna be the last. A person can't take all of this time in betwwen court appearances, etc....it frazzles your nerves to no end! I just want it all done and over with so I can get on with my so called life. It'll get better - I can feel the good vibes all around me. Thanks to you all on this here message board. Keep up the great work everyone - you're all fantastic and worth every bit of luck and help we can all give each other. I've really enjoyed this site and wish I would have found it a long, long time ago.!!
Well give dues where they are owed, charmed was the one that taught me ...about the avatars ,
And how to make paragraphs....she even got me proof reading .....what other wonders will happen?? hehe L&R to everyone AL
And how to make paragraphs....she even got me proof reading .....what other wonders will happen?? hehe L&R to everyone AL
Al, I sure never saw your mug. What'd ya do?? Post it for just a second??? In the witching hrs???lol,,<<<<<grin>>>>> love, lil sis
As a matter of fact yes, I only put it up for a few then switch around ......I dont want to scare everyone off ...hehehehe L&R.... AL
Caught ya, ha ha. Love the look. Now I'm heading out with a big smile. Love ya,,lil sis
