Hi again,
Probably gonna remind the escapees how it felt but also wantin any advice on dealin with this.
Last took yesterday lunch time, got bit restless sleep las night, woke this mornin wantin a day off.
By 10am I felt so weak an feeble, was scared of the world, lonely, couldn't contact anyone, mirror showin thin, drawn, frightened, haggered girl (instead of strong, powerful, alert woman on phet) and I'm ashamed to say I've taken again to feel normal. Got trembles, heart poundin/missin beats, mouth dry and sore, lips crackin, feel greasy but it all seems worth it. How can it be worth it?
When does all the negative feelings get better? How long will I have to feel like this? Never been 1 to do as I'm told yet this thing controls how I think and what I do.
I'm so sad and angry to have let things get this far but feel better to be able to vent to people that must know how I feel.
I WILL beat this, stay with me and ignore my ramblings. Seeing councillor in 5 days, gonna set a date to QUIT FOR GOOD.
Want to take back control of my life, to show everyone I can be strong on a straight run.
It all sounds good but is it possible?
Buffy (still lonely an scared) x
Buffy, I like the fact you have the the desire to quit. Have you tried n.a.? Or better yet, big cities have crystal meth anon. I live in a rural area. N.a. has been my ticket out of active addiction. Your friend,,,Linda
Dont beat yourself up .. if I could suggest what I had to do ....I used the ambition of using to prepare to quit. Using meth drains us of everything ...we are basically out of everything our bodies need to keep going , but the meth does just that -- keeps us going . when we quit then , there is "nothing" left for us to function . While still using , start a nutrition plan , get multi-vitamins , stock up on good pure water . try using as little meth as it takes to function ...tapering off works for many, for me ... the less I had ...the more I did . hmmmmmm.... you can begin rebuilding your health while still using , but what is most important is being ready for when you do stop . As you have already experienced. once you stop, you dont want to do a damn thing, that lasts for days....medical proffessionals will say after 3 days or so meth is out of your system, and there is no physical addiction . F- that ...there is a mental change in us that takes weeks or more to get back . A lazy a$$ way of getting balanced nutrition I used was Ultra-SlimFast. on top of meals, not just as a meal replacement . Also drink a ton of water . every day . and go ahead and veg a day or two but then at least go for a walk each day ...your counselor might be able to help refer you to a doc for meds if necesary . But I promise you it does get better .... let us know how you are doing ......AL
