Hi Old Timers! Does the resentment ever go away? Do you ever quit being annoyed at people close to you being able to have a drink and you can't?
I have been sober for over 2 1/2 years and I find that, that feeling of getting annoyed never quite goes away. As you oldtimers know I am not in the program so maybe that is why I still feel that? It's something I may have to explore if this keeps up.
Shout outs to all my old friends! Welcome New People to the Board!
I have to cry, "Alcohol Abuse!" when they leave the damned glass half full!
SKG....LOLOLOLOLOLOL...Thanks for the laugh!
Quick Story: My better half and I were spending brunch with another couple. They told us the story that they had an "Entire" bottle of Champagne between them the night before!! They didn't want Mimosas with brunch because of the previous nights excessive alcohol. I thought to myself...WTF....one bottle per person doesn't even cut it. LOLOLOL....4-5 glasses before even a buzz. Too funny. That and many other times I realized just how big my alcohol problem was.
That was funny Skg!! :-)
I guess I am just amazed that people actually can have a drink or two and stop there. It's so hard for me to imagine Not having more! :-)
Thanks again for the laugh pal!
Quick Story: My better half and I were spending brunch with another couple. They told us the story that they had an "Entire" bottle of Champagne between them the night before!! They didn't want Mimosas with brunch because of the previous nights excessive alcohol. I thought to myself...WTF....one bottle per person doesn't even cut it. LOLOLOL....4-5 glasses before even a buzz. Too funny. That and many other times I realized just how big my alcohol problem was.
That was funny Skg!! :-)
I guess I am just amazed that people actually can have a drink or two and stop there. It's so hard for me to imagine Not having more! :-)
Thanks again for the laugh pal!
LOL...I guess I am in the right place. I've never understood how 'normies' drink. I just don't have it in me. I drank to excess from the moment I tasted alcohol. As they say, one is too many and 100 isn't enough.
Thanks for the laugh. zipper
Thanks for the laugh. zipper
Hiya Zipper,
Definitely you are in the right place. I am not sure that I ever had a healthy relationship with alcohol. Actually everything in my life is done to excess so I should have expected it.
Keep up the good work Zipper!
Definitely you are in the right place. I am not sure that I ever had a healthy relationship with alcohol. Actually everything in my life is done to excess so I should have expected it.
Keep up the good work Zipper!
Valerie,
Just curious...you say that you aren't in the program. Can I ask what has helped you stay sober without the program? Also, do you feel that you get some flake since you aren't active in AA?
Just curious. If you aren't inclined to share, please honor that. ;)
Thanks,
Zipper
Just curious...you say that you aren't in the program. Can I ask what has helped you stay sober without the program? Also, do you feel that you get some flake since you aren't active in AA?
Just curious. If you aren't inclined to share, please honor that. ;)
Thanks,
Zipper
Hiya Zipper,
First off let me tell you what I do think about AA. I DO think AA works. If a person follows the steps and does the work they WILL remain sober. This crap about the low success rate to me is just that, crap. People relapse because they quit following the steps or whatever and they quit doing the work. Easier said than done I know.
I have no problem talking about it. I wish I had some serious tips and steps that I took but the truth is I don't. I went to NA for about a week many many years ago to get off speed so I know the steps. I never did any of the steps though. For me I have a different take on it. Many many years I tried the one day at a time with my drug use and my alcoholism. It just didn't work for me. Perhaps because I didn't go into the program. What worked for me was changing the way I thought about booze.
I came to the realization that I COULD NOT EVER have alcohol again. For many this is an unrealistic way to go about it. It works for me. I guess it was part of the powerless thing that Steppers do. I was powerless over it so I quit. I did have a bit of a head start though. I was hospitalized for the 4th time for acute pancreatitus and they detoxed me in the hospital. It was right after Hurricane Katrina. I haven't had a sip since.
I still think about it from time to time but I don't obsess over it anymore. Early in my recovery I found this site and at first I was posting like mad and everyone was there for me with open arms. I have learned alot here.
One other thing I used to do is upon going to bed I would give myself props for not drinking that day. I never woke up and told myself I wouldn't drink today. I know it is backwards but it is what works for me.
As for the question of getting flack for not being in the program. Never at anytime has anyone here on this site or anyone in my daily life pushed AA or been judgmental of me. I have some very good friends who have been in AA for over 10 years and even speak at big National Conventions. They send me the sober coins (I don't know what they are called) every year though. I have them displayed in my garden window.
So Zipper that may not have answered your question. It's pretty basic for me. I know that I can't drink ever again. As soon as I got that pounded into my head it made it easier to not obsess all the time.
Keep posting here Zip. It will help you more than you probably even realize.
Many people do the one day at a time. I am working off of the never again in this lifetime. Maybe naive but it works for me.
Definitely listen to all of those that have come before you. We know exactly what you are going through. The racing thoughts and obession. With time it will ease up.
Have a great evening.
First off let me tell you what I do think about AA. I DO think AA works. If a person follows the steps and does the work they WILL remain sober. This crap about the low success rate to me is just that, crap. People relapse because they quit following the steps or whatever and they quit doing the work. Easier said than done I know.
I have no problem talking about it. I wish I had some serious tips and steps that I took but the truth is I don't. I went to NA for about a week many many years ago to get off speed so I know the steps. I never did any of the steps though. For me I have a different take on it. Many many years I tried the one day at a time with my drug use and my alcoholism. It just didn't work for me. Perhaps because I didn't go into the program. What worked for me was changing the way I thought about booze.
I came to the realization that I COULD NOT EVER have alcohol again. For many this is an unrealistic way to go about it. It works for me. I guess it was part of the powerless thing that Steppers do. I was powerless over it so I quit. I did have a bit of a head start though. I was hospitalized for the 4th time for acute pancreatitus and they detoxed me in the hospital. It was right after Hurricane Katrina. I haven't had a sip since.
I still think about it from time to time but I don't obsess over it anymore. Early in my recovery I found this site and at first I was posting like mad and everyone was there for me with open arms. I have learned alot here.
One other thing I used to do is upon going to bed I would give myself props for not drinking that day. I never woke up and told myself I wouldn't drink today. I know it is backwards but it is what works for me.
As for the question of getting flack for not being in the program. Never at anytime has anyone here on this site or anyone in my daily life pushed AA or been judgmental of me. I have some very good friends who have been in AA for over 10 years and even speak at big National Conventions. They send me the sober coins (I don't know what they are called) every year though. I have them displayed in my garden window.
So Zipper that may not have answered your question. It's pretty basic for me. I know that I can't drink ever again. As soon as I got that pounded into my head it made it easier to not obsess all the time.
Keep posting here Zip. It will help you more than you probably even realize.
Many people do the one day at a time. I am working off of the never again in this lifetime. Maybe naive but it works for me.
Definitely listen to all of those that have come before you. We know exactly what you are going through. The racing thoughts and obession. With time it will ease up.
Have a great evening.
Thank you so much for your honesty and heck, if it work for you...go for it. I don't think it is a**-backwards to commend a day of night drinking upon turning in at night. That makes sense to me. ;)
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. I really appreciate it.
Again, Congrats on 2.5 years.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. I really appreciate it.
Again, Congrats on 2.5 years.
Thanks Zipper. It honestly feels like it was just yesterday.
Over the Valentine's Day weekend I was designated driver for about 6 of my drunk friends. At the beginning of the night I had some resentment towards them all for being able to drink.. I have to tell you that I actually ended up getting a kick out of how ridiculous they all sounded. I just sat in front driving everyone home and listening to them tell the same stories over and over again. I don't miss that at all. The next day most of them didn't remember the trip home. LOLOL..How they are different though is that they didn't have to have a drink to function and get moving the next morning. That would have been my M.O.!
Have a good one pal. Keep doing whatever it is that works for you! Like I said I know the program works for millions of people so listen to everyone here. They know their Sh*t and they have walked the walk so to speak. :-)
Have a good one!
Over the Valentine's Day weekend I was designated driver for about 6 of my drunk friends. At the beginning of the night I had some resentment towards them all for being able to drink.. I have to tell you that I actually ended up getting a kick out of how ridiculous they all sounded. I just sat in front driving everyone home and listening to them tell the same stories over and over again. I don't miss that at all. The next day most of them didn't remember the trip home. LOLOL..How they are different though is that they didn't have to have a drink to function and get moving the next morning. That would have been my M.O.!
Have a good one pal. Keep doing whatever it is that works for you! Like I said I know the program works for millions of people so listen to everyone here. They know their Sh*t and they have walked the walk so to speak. :-)
Have a good one!
Gidday Val
From day 1 Val has been open and honest and shared how it is for her and given advice when asked and listened and kept what she needed, she has helped this alky in NZ learn a thing or two about how i saw life and others in it.
Thanks Val:)
And talking about people who can drink well i still think if you can go to the pub and drink why dont they get blind....just because they can....yep im an alky and that part of me will always think both feet in the trough and you dont leave till you wake up and are refused service
light and love zac
From day 1 Val has been open and honest and shared how it is for her and given advice when asked and listened and kept what she needed, she has helped this alky in NZ learn a thing or two about how i saw life and others in it.
Thanks Val:)
And talking about people who can drink well i still think if you can go to the pub and drink why dont they get blind....just because they can....yep im an alky and that part of me will always think both feet in the trough and you dont leave till you wake up and are refused service
light and love zac
hey Zipper! Normal is a setting on a dryer! I used to drink 5 or six drinks before going DRINKING! Didn't want anyone thinking I was an alcoholic! ~GASP~
At the height of my 'adventures' I weighed about 145LBS--couldn't be bothered with food and got my nourishment from beer or whatever. AND got to shoots, gigs, and work a fulltime job. Yep, it's true. Beer carbs will keep you alive. I spent more time managing my EMPTIES than my LIFE! GAWD, when the garbage truck would come through and my trashcan clinked and clanked, I decided to distribute my empties. And I can tell you all the tricks to manage your breath, too!
Anyway, if anyone had told me I might have a drinking problem, I'd laugh and tell them it wasn't a problem at all! I could drink everyone under the table--and meet 'em down there and drink some more!
Anybody that says they understand, and hasn't been there, is piping light where light don't belong. "Normal" people don't wake up in sugar sweats and immediately think about quelling the nauseau with another one. Normal people don't wake up because they forgot to breathe. Normal people don't make sure they've got two days stock--just in case they have to throw out one.
and 'normal' people couldn't possibly function in a picked state for months at a time.
"I was a cucumber, wallowing in the brine. Somewhere along the line I turned into a pickle--and I can't go back!"
"Normal" people have all the answers and they start with, "You're a wonderful person. Why don't you just stop drinking? I'll help you."
At the height of my 'adventures' I weighed about 145LBS--couldn't be bothered with food and got my nourishment from beer or whatever. AND got to shoots, gigs, and work a fulltime job. Yep, it's true. Beer carbs will keep you alive. I spent more time managing my EMPTIES than my LIFE! GAWD, when the garbage truck would come through and my trashcan clinked and clanked, I decided to distribute my empties. And I can tell you all the tricks to manage your breath, too!
Anyway, if anyone had told me I might have a drinking problem, I'd laugh and tell them it wasn't a problem at all! I could drink everyone under the table--and meet 'em down there and drink some more!
Anybody that says they understand, and hasn't been there, is piping light where light don't belong. "Normal" people don't wake up in sugar sweats and immediately think about quelling the nauseau with another one. Normal people don't wake up because they forgot to breathe. Normal people don't make sure they've got two days stock--just in case they have to throw out one.
and 'normal' people couldn't possibly function in a picked state for months at a time.
"I was a cucumber, wallowing in the brine. Somewhere along the line I turned into a pickle--and I can't go back!"
"Normal" people have all the answers and they start with, "You're a wonderful person. Why don't you just stop drinking? I'll help you."
Oh {{{{{ Zac}}}}} you're my pal from way back!!! You have also helped me more than you know. Thanks for the nice words. It's always good to hear that!
SKG.....Great Post. Everything that you said rang true for me. Distributing the empties cracked me up so bad. I started drinking booze in plastics just for that reason. Let me tell ya...good quality alcohol doesn't come in a plastic container. Of course at the end lighter fluid would have been a thought for me too! LOLOL...I even quit drinking wine because it took at least bottles to get me on my way. Crazy!!!
People that aren't alkies have no idea what we are talking about. All the education and research does not take the place of walking in an alkie's shoes!
Have a great day everyone!
SKG.....Great Post. Everything that you said rang true for me. Distributing the empties cracked me up so bad. I started drinking booze in plastics just for that reason. Let me tell ya...good quality alcohol doesn't come in a plastic container. Of course at the end lighter fluid would have been a thought for me too! LOLOL...I even quit drinking wine because it took at least bottles to get me on my way. Crazy!!!
People that aren't alkies have no idea what we are talking about. All the education and research does not take the place of walking in an alkie's shoes!
Have a great day everyone!
Great reading your posts. and thanks for the giggles. I remember the insanity only too well of waking up in the middle of the night and panicing if there was no booze about. I guess normal people don't have that problem. My garbage every week would always jingle with the sound of empty bottles. Normal people do not start the day with a miniature whiskey to just feel normal. Normal people probably don't get the shakes. I remember the first time that happened to me. I was sitting in a bar (shock horror) and was so hungover from the night before I had to get a quick fix to steady my fraught nerves. I ordered Bacardi and Coke and when i went to pick up the glass up my hand shook so violently that I had to look around to see if other people noticed it too. I had to use my two hands to carry the glass to my table and then use the same two hands to bring the glass to my lips containing the same poison that would make sure the whole sorry cycle would begin again. Insanity! But the bacardi did stop the shakes and a few more bacardis later I was laughing at myself.
What really really scares me is the way my personality changes when I get drunk and how abusive and rotten I become. I am terrifed of it ever happening again. You know, there are people in my life I love and they are the last peopl I would hurt sober. All that changes with drink though. I don't care for God or man when I am drunk.
Thabk God for help though and thank God that there is a solution. I read somewhere once that there is no such thing as a hopeless case. I felt hopeless with alcohol so many times but yet again God/My HP whoever would throw me a lifeline and find some way of letting me know I can get better and I am not on my own. I feel so grateful for the people who have helped me. If I can remember to do one cool thing a day - I want to count my blessings. I want to be grateful that for today at least I am sober. xx
What really really scares me is the way my personality changes when I get drunk and how abusive and rotten I become. I am terrifed of it ever happening again. You know, there are people in my life I love and they are the last peopl I would hurt sober. All that changes with drink though. I don't care for God or man when I am drunk.
Thabk God for help though and thank God that there is a solution. I read somewhere once that there is no such thing as a hopeless case. I felt hopeless with alcohol so many times but yet again God/My HP whoever would throw me a lifeline and find some way of letting me know I can get better and I am not on my own. I feel so grateful for the people who have helped me. If I can remember to do one cool thing a day - I want to count my blessings. I want to be grateful that for today at least I am sober. xx
Awesome Post Ruth. Hi to you again!
The shakes!! Oh balls was that the worst! LOLOL...I used to try and play it off like I had low blood sugar! Yeah right like anyone believed that when I had booze eminating from my pores! Gosh I don't miss that!
Ever try to put a pair of earrings in?? The little back was impossible to get attached! lol
Have a great day all!
The shakes!! Oh balls was that the worst! LOLOL...I used to try and play it off like I had low blood sugar! Yeah right like anyone believed that when I had booze eminating from my pores! Gosh I don't miss that!
Ever try to put a pair of earrings in?? The little back was impossible to get attached! lol
Have a great day all!
LOL...I can read this thread and just nod my head...My normal was drinking a 6 pack of beer while putting my make up on to go "out" and party. I always had to jump start my night out drinking, then I'd be in a black out way before anyone else had even caught a buzz.
I remember asking my "normie" husband awhile ago if he ever had a committee talking in his head and he looked at me like I was crazy...LOL
When I found my way into the rooms and listened to others sharing, what a sense of relief that came over me, that I wasn't crazy and that others had that same committee going on in their heads. One thing that I heard, and held on to, was that after time and action, the committee can be quieted down. That's what I want and that's part of why I keep coming back and why I post on here, to be a part of, to know I am not alone and that "WE" can do this together, hand in hand, we can stay sober one day at a time.
Val,
I can relate to being that designated driver and who would have ever thought that "I" could be the designated driver. A miracle, nothing less....Sloppy drunks can still irritate me but it's probably because I can remember being that "sloppy drunk" and the ugly memories start to surface. Thank God that I am sober today and don't have to be that sloppy drunk anymore if I do the simple things I've been taught....
xoxo
Stacey
| QUOTE |
| People that aren't alkies have no idea what we are talking about. All the education and research does not take the place of walking in an alkie's shoes! |
I remember asking my "normie" husband awhile ago if he ever had a committee talking in his head and he looked at me like I was crazy...LOL
When I found my way into the rooms and listened to others sharing, what a sense of relief that came over me, that I wasn't crazy and that others had that same committee going on in their heads. One thing that I heard, and held on to, was that after time and action, the committee can be quieted down. That's what I want and that's part of why I keep coming back and why I post on here, to be a part of, to know I am not alone and that "WE" can do this together, hand in hand, we can stay sober one day at a time.
Val,
I can relate to being that designated driver and who would have ever thought that "I" could be the designated driver. A miracle, nothing less....Sloppy drunks can still irritate me but it's probably because I can remember being that "sloppy drunk" and the ugly memories start to surface. Thank God that I am sober today and don't have to be that sloppy drunk anymore if I do the simple things I've been taught....
xoxo
Stacey
Hi Stacey,
How goes it girlfriend? AA is the miracle that works for people. Though I am not involved in it at all I wouldn't hesitate if I needed to. I am open to all ideas on how to stay sober. I will listen to anyone who has been in my shoes. :-)
Regarding the designated driver episode. LOLOL...My friends even made the comment that they couldn't believe that "I" was driving "them". At one point in the evening I snapped at someone telling them that they had already told me that story. She snapped back at me saying, "I used to listen to you when you were drinking and repeating yourself!" I said, "True, but you were drunk as well!" "Being drunk and listening to another drunk doesn't compare to being sober and listening to one." I found it kind of amusing though.
I also had to keep my ego in check that night. A couple of times I found myself being kind of judgmental and thinking I was better than "them". I got it together pretty quickly though.
Have a great day 24!
How goes it girlfriend? AA is the miracle that works for people. Though I am not involved in it at all I wouldn't hesitate if I needed to. I am open to all ideas on how to stay sober. I will listen to anyone who has been in my shoes. :-)
Regarding the designated driver episode. LOLOL...My friends even made the comment that they couldn't believe that "I" was driving "them". At one point in the evening I snapped at someone telling them that they had already told me that story. She snapped back at me saying, "I used to listen to you when you were drinking and repeating yourself!" I said, "True, but you were drunk as well!" "Being drunk and listening to another drunk doesn't compare to being sober and listening to one." I found it kind of amusing though.
I also had to keep my ego in check that night. A couple of times I found myself being kind of judgmental and thinking I was better than "them". I got it together pretty quickly though.
Have a great day 24!
How about the cashier/clerk at the store who just about dives under the counter when you utter even a word? I used to try to hold my breath through the transaction because I didn't want them to know I was drinking! I don't guess shaking money at 'em would have counted, or a good glassey-eyed doofus look or cuddling the sack like a child until I got to my car!
Nope. I had met the enemy and IT WAS ME!!
Nope. I had met the enemy and IT WAS ME!!
Hey vally
great thread.
Val and Stacey I am with you a non-alcoholic just cannot understand what that obsession feels like and the way we drank.
I am sober tonight by the grace of God - this is the first night in 2 weeks I've had bad cravings - I forced myself to play that tape right to the end and that did the trick.
A bit of a resentment was triggered today by listening to some people I was bushwalking with joking about drinking. I can't remember the whole detaisl but we were talking about mosquito bites and M said: oh a glass of wine will fix that. And C (who takes everything so literal) asks: do you pour the wine on the mosquito bite?
So of course everyone is laughing and M is like: no you drink it then you don't worry about the mosquito bite anymore. A glass of wine fixes everything.
It was just a silly jokey conversation and talking about drinking the way people do all the time. but it SO bugged me because I know these people and I know they are all social drinkers.
Those few little comments had my head going - especially about a drink fixing everything - of course a single drink wouldn't do the trick - not for me. For them maybe, not for me. so I was building resentment about that fact and it turned into a craving.
Anyway I am proud to say I didn't drink I worked through it. I have a long way to go with this thing.
This has been an interesting thread about different ways to stay sober, I'm going to share a thought that an AA friend of mine often says to me:
(for an alcoholic) There's no right way to drink and no wrong way to stay sober.
cheers
Idgie
great thread.
Val and Stacey I am with you a non-alcoholic just cannot understand what that obsession feels like and the way we drank.
I am sober tonight by the grace of God - this is the first night in 2 weeks I've had bad cravings - I forced myself to play that tape right to the end and that did the trick.
A bit of a resentment was triggered today by listening to some people I was bushwalking with joking about drinking. I can't remember the whole detaisl but we were talking about mosquito bites and M said: oh a glass of wine will fix that. And C (who takes everything so literal) asks: do you pour the wine on the mosquito bite?
So of course everyone is laughing and M is like: no you drink it then you don't worry about the mosquito bite anymore. A glass of wine fixes everything.
It was just a silly jokey conversation and talking about drinking the way people do all the time. but it SO bugged me because I know these people and I know they are all social drinkers.
Those few little comments had my head going - especially about a drink fixing everything - of course a single drink wouldn't do the trick - not for me. For them maybe, not for me. so I was building resentment about that fact and it turned into a craving.
Anyway I am proud to say I didn't drink I worked through it. I have a long way to go with this thing.
This has been an interesting thread about different ways to stay sober, I'm going to share a thought that an AA friend of mine often says to me:
(for an alcoholic) There's no right way to drink and no wrong way to stay sober.
cheers
Idgie
You said it Sister Friend Idgie! I think that is why I don't catch any flack for not doing it through AA. Now I get it. I am sober and I am staying sober so my way is right as well! Gave me some food for thought. Thanks!
As I read your story about your friends while you were in the bush...I felt resentful too. I will sound like a big ole jerk but you wanna know what went through my head when I read that???
I would have said, "How about after I push you down and your knee is scraped, pour a little wine on it!!! LMAO LOLOLOLOL
Ooh....a little self reflection Valarie!! Look within' Valarie! lololol...Perhaps I have some anger issues today! lol....not really I am just teasing. Actually today I am riding the mania high of the rollercoaster. Let's hope this lasts.
Everyone has a great day and weekend!
As I read your story about your friends while you were in the bush...I felt resentful too. I will sound like a big ole jerk but you wanna know what went through my head when I read that???
I would have said, "How about after I push you down and your knee is scraped, pour a little wine on it!!! LMAO LOLOLOLOL
Ooh....a little self reflection Valarie!! Look within' Valarie! lololol...Perhaps I have some anger issues today! lol....not really I am just teasing. Actually today I am riding the mania high of the rollercoaster. Let's hope this lasts.
Everyone has a great day and weekend!
