Sad New's About Vera's Sister

Pain Pills
1
Hi everyone.

For those of you that don't know, we put a 2-bedroom addition onto our house and my wife's sister Carolyn moved in last October. Truly a great woman, just a fantastic sense of humor, sweet, kind, and everyone (I mean EVERYONE) that met her just loved her.

That made for 10 around the dinner table, or out in the back yard, or going to
Disney World.

But 2 weeks ago today Carolyn was involved in a nasty traffic accident. She got broad sided by a pickup... she was driving a Camry. She suffered two broken vertebrae in her neck, a small fracture in her hip, lots of cuts and bruises including a really cut on her scalp. And she suffered a concussion, probably when whatever put that big cut on her scalp hit her in the head. It caused some bleeding into the cranium (sp?) but is quit bleeding within 24 hours. She spent 3 nights in ICU, than 2 nights on the regular wards, and we brought her home (in an ambulance) the following Friday.

She was making good progress. We got her a walker and a wheelchair and my son-in-law the carpenter was going to build a ramp off the porch to the driveway. But last Sunday she fell while getting up off the toilet and hit her head on the dryer. The really sad part in all of this is that Vera and I, and my two girls, were within six inches of her whenever she was using the walker. We just couldn't let her fall because of the spine injury. But after we got her situated on the pot, we left the bathroom in order to give her a little privacy. So the one place where someone was not constantly watching her is the place she fell.

Vera and my son-in-law got her back into the bed, but about an hour later she became unresponsive, to they called 911 and they transported her back to ER. There were learned that this time it was really massive bleeding in her brain, and that she would probablyl not survive. The neuro surgeon said, in so many words, that he wouldn't open the skull up because her higher brain functions were already gone.

Vera was faced with a tough decision. It was obvious that her sister was right on the edge anyway, and probably wouldn't last the night. Vera knew her sister did NOT want to be subjected to heroic measures, but Carolyn's three kids lived in West Tennessee and she wanted to keep her alive until they could get here so she ordered up the breathing machine that would keep her brain stem alive, which was the only part still operational.

Her kids got up her at 8:00am this past Monday. They were able to kiss her forehead, hold her hand, and talk to her. They seemed to be very grateful that Vera gave them that opportunity. We all talked it over Monday night and we all aggreed that it was OK now to remove all the life-support.

So Tuesday morning the breathing tube came out but she kept right on breathing and has been breathing on her own since.

Thursday we decided to bring her home. Reason (1) she didn't need to be in ICU any longer, and we were afraid they would put us in one of the much smaller rooms on the regular floors, (2) We felt that if she had been able to voice an opinion, she would've said, "I want to die at home". (3) It was running all of us ragged, going back and forth and back and forth from ICU to the house, (4) and all that walking in the hospital was playing havoc with my hip.

So as I sit here typing this on Sunday at 11:02, she is still in her living room on a hospital bed, looking for all the world as if she were just taking a nap. Respiration, heart rate, and BP are all really good and healthy. Someone is with her 24/7, but in fact it is usually 2 or 3 people at night, and today there were 8 of us in the living room just living our lives and talking and her being right smack in the middle of it :)

You all pray for us. It's been a really rough two weeks, to say the least. Amazingly enough, I didn't crave opiates at all. Really didn't even think about it, but I did make a joke about going to the pharmacy to re-fill her RX of morphine. Vera kept a straight face, but my two girls laughed out loud!

OK I'm going to bed, I'm sorry about all the typos and mis-spellings but I don't have the energy to proof my writing.

Love and pace to all
James.
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Hey James,

She's in my prayers.
3


Thanks, Liz.
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Dear Patriarch....you are such a loving man. You're all in my prayers. Give your wife and sister in law a big hug from us. luv corrinne
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James, I'm so sorry. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

DeNae
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James,
You and your entire family are in my prayers, give Vera a big hug from me. I haven't heard from her in a while, let her know I am thinking of her please.

Hugs,
cynical one
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James and Vera, my heart is filled with such sadness for you. I will keep you and the family in my prayers.

Sense of deja vu, my father in law died on the 18th last year after a week in a coma from a stroke.

God Bless You All
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James, I'm so sorry. I'm glad she is with amazing and caring people like you and Vera.
Love, Kat
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James...so very sorry for all you and Vera are going through...How are you feeling these days? Hang in there...Love, Sharonn
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James, I am so sorry... you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts... Love and God Bless,
Briana
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Dear James and Vera:

I am so sorry. What was working out so well - just didn't stay that way.
I'm sorry for that, too.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers,
Love, Jean.
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James and Vera...you are in my thoughts.

Cravings are sneaky little buggers, so be careful. It's usually when we least expect it that it happens. After the let down of stress or emotional injury.

I have faith in you James, to do the right thing. You recognize what doesn't work for you anymore. That's a blessing.

XXX
Cowgirl
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All of your kind words really warmed our hearts. I started to not say anything about this, but then I remembered that regardless of what happens, we're all in this together. Now I'm glad I shared it.

No change this morning, Carolyn is still breathing almost normally, has a strong heartbeat, blood pressure I'm jealous of, and is still passing urine.

So it may be a few days yet. She looks just exactly like she's taking a nap, and I keep watching her to wake up and go, "Why am I in the living room?!"

Sincere thanks again for your posts.

James.
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My mother in law was put in a home 2 weeks ago for Alzhiemers and it's been pretty rough. My husband is dealing with a lot of guilt and is so damn tired right now...last night, she fell and hurt herself pretty bad. We didnt' get home from the hospital until 3am when they finally decided to keep her.

I guess my point in telling you this is that, life happens, whether we want it to or not. In the past, I would have used this as a perfect excuse to use, I would have made it all about me and how tired and stressed I was. But now I can deal with it the way a normal person does. With love and compassion for my husband and his mother. And I don't want to use to make it all go away.

I like that part.

Take care James and remember how loved you really are.

Cowgirl
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bless you and your sweet sister in law and family ,you all are so nice to do this ,,,for her ,,,,,take care ,poopie
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Dear James and Vera,

Bless your hearts for doing this for her sister! It tells us just what kind of people you care....WONDERFUL! I will keep her and you all in my prayers.

Love,
Susan