hey guys,
I've been so involved with life as a mom...sigh......HELP!!!!!!!! And my dear hubby is out of town......
My 15 year old daughter has mentioned more than once to me that there is a girl in her math class who's doing lines of coke in class....and now....the latest.....this girl is waving around a bag of crack......and sharing her boyfriends'(dealer) phone number. I've told my daughter to go to the school constable with this info.....but after some daily thought on the matter....I'm thinking I need to be the adult.....and let my daughter relax over this....I should be going to the principal ????? yes ???? Call the cops ???? What would you do ?? Anonymously.....I mean....this particular drug scares me......the violence it is linked to.....and the sexual connection......I have met crack users and their stories are terrifying......I worry my daughter is being preyed upon and is caught up with this person.....perhaps as a curiousity, as a concerned friend.....who knows ?????? the confusion is apparent and she's obviously coming to me for help......indirectly....duh....I'm a little slow.....and I can't believe told her to deal with it.....i can hardly wait until she gets home so i can apologize.....
Geez, i need to save a few lives, don't I ???
I anxiously await your input, dear ones.....
I would call the principal, tonight.
And I wouldn't necessarily tell your daughter that you called. Because she is going to tell someone and they will tell someone else and it will get back to the girl or dealer or boyfriend, etc.
Good luck and let us know. Amy (former school teacher)
And I wouldn't necessarily tell your daughter that you called. Because she is going to tell someone and they will tell someone else and it will get back to the girl or dealer or boyfriend, etc.
Good luck and let us know. Amy (former school teacher)
Bless your heart, thank you. I only know the girls first name.....and do I need to leave my name ? Or just say I am the parent of a student in Mr. P's class with serious concern regarding witnessing illegal drug use in the classroom ?
Ugh, tough one WW.
If anonymous makes you feel better, than do it that way. Go with your gut on this. Is there anyone at the school that you have a more personal relationship with that you would feel OK talking to about this?
Don't beat yourself up about your first repsonse, I know my kids didn't come with a manual. Talk some more with your daughter, trust you will come up with the right decision for her and you. Her best interest in all of this should be your first concern.
Saying a little ditty for you two tonight,
Kerrbear
If anonymous makes you feel better, than do it that way. Go with your gut on this. Is there anyone at the school that you have a more personal relationship with that you would feel OK talking to about this?
Don't beat yourself up about your first repsonse, I know my kids didn't come with a manual. Talk some more with your daughter, trust you will come up with the right decision for her and you. Her best interest in all of this should be your first concern.
Saying a little ditty for you two tonight,
Kerrbear
No, you don't have to give your name - but it holds more weight if you do. Plus, they might get back to you on how they resolved the problem.
you really have to inform the school. this is a serious drug with big risk. this girls bf probably has her on the prey for buyers. this is such a tough age for kids. and this is the last thing any of them need. i think i would also inform the police. the school can only do so much. if the police get involved, maybe the can catch the dealer and put a stop to this mess. you will be doing your daughter, the other girl, the school and your community a big favor.
have missed you around here. dont be such a stranger.
have missed you around here. dont be such a stranger.
I asked my daughter if we could talk last night and she declined. We were both tired.....it's always better to talk about serious issues when alert. :-)
This morning I am so stressed about this......and she didn't get up for school....
My husband and I went for marriage counselling recently.....he told her he wants our kids to get help in coping with a mother who has mental illness. We talked for three hours and my husband scratched the surface of his own issues.......which made me feel less blamed and less shamed.....Meanwhile, he's out of town for ten days as I write this......geez, there's always a crisis when he's out of town.....
The last group I attended, three women gave me their phone numbers and told me to phone anytime. Another friend whom I've known for ten years invited me to watch a tv show this afternoon with her but I have to see my dietician this afternoon. What the hell is wrong with me?????, I want to be around people and yet I don't want to.....
I really need to go talk to my doctor now.....thanks for being here......
This morning I am so stressed about this......and she didn't get up for school....
My husband and I went for marriage counselling recently.....he told her he wants our kids to get help in coping with a mother who has mental illness. We talked for three hours and my husband scratched the surface of his own issues.......which made me feel less blamed and less shamed.....Meanwhile, he's out of town for ten days as I write this......geez, there's always a crisis when he's out of town.....
The last group I attended, three women gave me their phone numbers and told me to phone anytime. Another friend whom I've known for ten years invited me to watch a tv show this afternoon with her but I have to see my dietician this afternoon. What the hell is wrong with me?????, I want to be around people and yet I don't want to.....
I really need to go talk to my doctor now.....thanks for being here......
edit
Hi
This is a difficult situation. Have you decided what you were going to do? How about calling the parents of the girl? I would also inform the principal of the school but he is probably already aware that kids use in school.
I am surprised that the math teacher can be so oblivious of what is going on in his/her class.
I have been tempted many times to call the police but so far I have not had the guts.
Best
This is a difficult situation. Have you decided what you were going to do? How about calling the parents of the girl? I would also inform the principal of the school but he is probably already aware that kids use in school.
I am surprised that the math teacher can be so oblivious of what is going on in his/her class.
I have been tempted many times to call the police but so far I have not had the guts.
Best
We had a great talk over lunch. In the end, she is very relieved to not have to deal with any of this, she wants nothing to do with the girl anymore, and really struggles with how to end the friendship...... I guess the school constable has approached my daughter recently which was the final straw for her.....she doesn't want to be known to have association with druggies !!!!!!.....he asked her some questions.......about others.....and what she knows......she wanted so bad to go into that office and narc, but she was afraid.....
The parents are aware of something....but they think it's "just exstacy" their daughter has been caught with. She lied to her parents while stoned. I guess their concern would be more evident if they knew their daughter has progressed from booze to coke to crack and quite possibly heroin now. Apparently exstacy is ok with them ????????? That doesn't make sense. Although I did share with my daughter that lies WILL be told when you are dealing with the drug not the person....
We've decided my daughter will get the phone number and the first name of the dealer and then I will be calling the police. The boyfriend is not in high school...he is much older. I don't know what they can do with that little information.
This has given me a tension headache. My daughter is back to being her happy and loving self.
I imagine the teacher cannot disclose any information to me. Perhaps there is an investigation going on as it is....who knows ???
The parents are aware of something....but they think it's "just exstacy" their daughter has been caught with. She lied to her parents while stoned. I guess their concern would be more evident if they knew their daughter has progressed from booze to coke to crack and quite possibly heroin now. Apparently exstacy is ok with them ????????? That doesn't make sense. Although I did share with my daughter that lies WILL be told when you are dealing with the drug not the person....
We've decided my daughter will get the phone number and the first name of the dealer and then I will be calling the police. The boyfriend is not in high school...he is much older. I don't know what they can do with that little information.
This has given me a tension headache. My daughter is back to being her happy and loving self.
I imagine the teacher cannot disclose any information to me. Perhaps there is an investigation going on as it is....who knows ???
You handled it very well.
A phone number is enough for the police to trace the dealer, I would think.
Parents are so blind! it is frightening. After my son came back from rehab we had a meeting with his advisor and the house master (it is a big public school with house masters) and both of them complimented us on having sent our son to rehab. We were very surprised. We were told that most of the parents don't do it, even if they know that their child uses.
I hope this girl receives help and that your daughter remains as mature as she seems.
A phone number is enough for the police to trace the dealer, I would think.
Parents are so blind! it is frightening. After my son came back from rehab we had a meeting with his advisor and the house master (it is a big public school with house masters) and both of them complimented us on having sent our son to rehab. We were very surprised. We were told that most of the parents don't do it, even if they know that their child uses.
I hope this girl receives help and that your daughter remains as mature as she seems.
Hi Barb,
Thanks for being here, I appreciate the conversation.....yes, maturity....when I grow up I want to be just like my daughter <smile>
I will not rest until I know for sure that child gets help. People are in our lives for a reason. My daughter has managed to grasp the fine art of loving compassion without becoming codependant. She is waaaaay beyond her years.
She got called "uptight" by a drunken boy a few weekends ago at a party. He told her she "needed to get drunk". She walked away.
I call it a pretty good comprehension of understanding the value in not wasting her precious time listening to drunken boys.
A parent such as yourself who is not in denial is rare. I believe it. Stand tall and proud, keep fighting the demons, ok ? Your son will thank you some day.
Love and light,
Diana
Thanks for being here, I appreciate the conversation.....yes, maturity....when I grow up I want to be just like my daughter <smile>
I will not rest until I know for sure that child gets help. People are in our lives for a reason. My daughter has managed to grasp the fine art of loving compassion without becoming codependant. She is waaaaay beyond her years.
She got called "uptight" by a drunken boy a few weekends ago at a party. He told her she "needed to get drunk". She walked away.
I call it a pretty good comprehension of understanding the value in not wasting her precious time listening to drunken boys.
A parent such as yourself who is not in denial is rare. I believe it. Stand tall and proud, keep fighting the demons, ok ? Your son will thank you some day.
Love and light,
Diana
Kerr bear, I appreciate the ditty....<smile>
Thanks for the encouragement. I need it. It is still difficult because my son is angry at the sobriety imposed on him but he has not relapsed.
The articles you posted are very good. People are blind when it comes to mj
Take care
B
The articles you posted are very good. People are blind when it comes to mj
Take care
B
Diana you are more than welcome for the ditty!!
I'm having a hard time with this one. How much do we get involved? How far do we push? It sounds like the school authorities have been alerted to what is going on, I'm leaning towards letting them take care of the others involved and you focus on your daughter and yourself. Call one of those phone numbers you were given! I bet they would be thrilled to hear from you. Do not isolate while your husband is gone. It sounds like this crisis is over, excellent that your daughter doesn't want to have anything to do with this girl. Take some time with this, what are you feeling up to and what do you need? You don't have to save the world today, you can put it off for a couple days, pay attention to you, and get that balance back.
You can do this!!!!
Kerry
I'm having a hard time with this one. How much do we get involved? How far do we push? It sounds like the school authorities have been alerted to what is going on, I'm leaning towards letting them take care of the others involved and you focus on your daughter and yourself. Call one of those phone numbers you were given! I bet they would be thrilled to hear from you. Do not isolate while your husband is gone. It sounds like this crisis is over, excellent that your daughter doesn't want to have anything to do with this girl. Take some time with this, what are you feeling up to and what do you need? You don't have to save the world today, you can put it off for a couple days, pay attention to you, and get that balance back.
You can do this!!!!
Kerry
Kerry, I called my friend, in 15 minutes I'm on my way to her house to watch the taped season finale of Deperate Housewives. :-) It's girl time !!!!! Thank you for your continued watchful eye over me. I owe you one.......:-)
Have a lovely weekend,
Diana
Have a lovely weekend,
Diana
Right On!!!!
Nothing owed here my friend, I get what I give...
Have fun and ENJOY!!!!
Sooooo, how was the girls night?? Hope you found a little peace and some belly laughs.
I was convinced for awhile there they were going to bump off ALL the men on Wisteria Lane, it sure seems like they are quite screwy. I love the new character they've introduced ! Looking forward to more of her.
It was good to get out in the evening for awile. Hope you had a great weekend too????
It was good to get out in the evening for awile. Hope you had a great weekend too????
First time in a long time I can say I had a good weekend and really mean it. I posted an update on my sons situation for you over on the FF board on the Detachment with Love...Again thread. The Powers that be have been good to us. I am not naive enough to think he is out of the woods yet, but things seem to be working in his favor, and I had nothing to do with it, HAH!
You are so right, people come into our lives for a reason. I'm glad you came into mine, even if it's in cyber world!
One Day at a Time my friend, future tripping puts me into crazy making in no time flat.
Kerry
You are so right, people come into our lives for a reason. I'm glad you came into mine, even if it's in cyber world!
One Day at a Time my friend, future tripping puts me into crazy making in no time flat.
Kerry
