hey...im new to this. i have a major addiction to hydrocodone..and it feels so weird to actually say that. it has come to a point that i am spending way much money on it..and i dont want to take them anymore. in fact, the only reason that i have continued to take them this long is because im so scared of going through withdrawls. im a single mom of 3...and im a singer in a band. i have havent took anything since yesterday...and my stomach is burning..and i cant seem to sit still...and everything seems like its in a daze. the main thing that im scared of is that i have practice tonight, and 2 shows this weekend. shows that i can not miss. i know that this is all will power..and that it will pass...but i have a feeling this next week will be the longest of my life...and i am so afraid. kinda funny..since im never afraid of anything. anyway...this isnt something that i can tell my family...or friends...cuz they have no idea whats been going on with me. so im hoping that through you guys..i can find the support to help me get through this. well i gotta run...
Just wondering, how long have you been using. I know how it feels when you can't talk to any loved ones. It is a very lonely place to be. Is it possible for you to seek medical care.
Where you live may have a place you can go without going to a rehab for a month. I think every case is different there for every treatment is different. Hang out here you can get a lot of help and keep your privacy!
marina ~
Where you live may have a place you can go without going to a rehab for a month. I think every case is different there for every treatment is different. Hang out here you can get a lot of help and keep your privacy!
marina ~
i wish there was a place to get help...but with my situation...there is no way that i can let anyone know...i did tell my neighbor who is a good friend...mainly so if i get really edgy...or whatever...the kids can go to her place and hang out with her kids without knowing anything is going on. alot is riding on me getting off these pills. my music career is about to open full blast. the band that i am with will be opening for a big name in 2 weeks...although we have 2 smaller shows this weekend. plus..i added it up...in the last 2 weeks..i spent around $200 buying pills from people i know...and yet my phone was cut off last week...i have also met a really great guy...but i know that i gotta get me straight before i let anyone else into my life...i have the best of intentions...just not real good with follow through..
Giz:
It has nothing to do with willpower. We have as disease of addiction. There are people who can take recommended doses of pills and put them down when it's over. For us, our brain chemistry is different. I couldn't do it alone. I had to go to meetings. AA is what works for me. Once you are off the pills your head will tel you it's okay to just take one. Believe me when I say I have done this many, many times before. Once I was clean for two years and then picked right back up where I left off. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I had to go to meetings, I had been there before and I did not want to go back. My life is not a struggle today.
Peace,
Rachel
It has nothing to do with willpower. We have as disease of addiction. There are people who can take recommended doses of pills and put them down when it's over. For us, our brain chemistry is different. I couldn't do it alone. I had to go to meetings. AA is what works for me. Once you are off the pills your head will tel you it's okay to just take one. Believe me when I say I have done this many, many times before. Once I was clean for two years and then picked right back up where I left off. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I had to go to meetings, I had been there before and I did not want to go back. My life is not a struggle today.
Peace,
Rachel
well put racheal....
Good Luck Giz....and God Bless
Teresa
Good Luck Giz....and God Bless
Teresa
Hi,
Again, well said Rachel. Also rachel I really relate to ya'. I also relapsed after two years, and today, by following suggestions, A.A. is what works for me too.
Giz,
I suggest getting face to face help as soon as possible. And it is possible.
I'll pray for ya', being a musician myself I know one of the, what I used to think were, fringe benifits is drugs are always there for the taking. I'm now playing again but not only clean and sober, but with other clean and sober band mates.
I love playing but would never chance the temtation thinking I could handle it my way. Good luck to you and with your gigs as well. I'll tell ya', I never thought I could play without using, but honestly I enjoy it so much more clean, not to mention I can actually remember the gig the next day! lol But seriously, this is life or death for us, take care of yourself or you won't have to worry about getting signed, you'll run the risk of being over before you get started.
Take care...................................God bless.........................................Bob
Again, well said Rachel. Also rachel I really relate to ya'. I also relapsed after two years, and today, by following suggestions, A.A. is what works for me too.
Giz,
I suggest getting face to face help as soon as possible. And it is possible.
I'll pray for ya', being a musician myself I know one of the, what I used to think were, fringe benifits is drugs are always there for the taking. I'm now playing again but not only clean and sober, but with other clean and sober band mates.
I love playing but would never chance the temtation thinking I could handle it my way. Good luck to you and with your gigs as well. I'll tell ya', I never thought I could play without using, but honestly I enjoy it so much more clean, not to mention I can actually remember the gig the next day! lol But seriously, this is life or death for us, take care of yourself or you won't have to worry about getting signed, you'll run the risk of being over before you get started.
Take care...................................God bless.........................................Bob
Giz, I know where you're coming from.... this summer, I would spend money buying pain pills (when I couldn't get enough from my doctor) and I would have unpaid bills sitting right in front of me..... I would have credit card companies calling me, yet I didn't even think twice about spending the money on pain medicine. I always rationalized it as "Well, medicine is a necessity and I NEED this" or "These pills give me the energy to work more and working more means more money, so it makes sense to spend the money now on Norco"
I get depressed just thinking about it....
I get depressed just thinking about it....
I can surely understand why you are so scared. I am on day 4 of no Norco...
I was taking about 10 per day. I was forced to taper off because it was getting
too hard and WAY too expensive to get the pills. Last week, I only had about 8 pills off to taper....and yes, I feel horrible. I don't want to talk to anyone, my jaw is set tight and I feel like I am not in my body. Physically, I am totally sick. Nauseous, on the toilet all the time - - expecially the first 2 days....and really really bad insomnia. If you have heard of restless legs at night....that is a side effect too. I am sitting here at work writing this when I should be working. I am hoping I will feel motivated to get my work done in a few days. Yes, I have craved the medicine and have been more than tempted to get on the internet...
Bad thing...I have two small children whom I have to take care of and a husband who doesn't even know. I am doing this all alone. It sucks. All I can say to you is bear with it. I know that down the road we will all feel better and be one of the people who can share their recovery stories. I feel for you....having to play with your band this weekend. That's horrible. I had houseguests last week while I was going through the tapering and had to "fake" feeling good. It was VERY VERY hard.
I was taking about 10 per day. I was forced to taper off because it was getting
too hard and WAY too expensive to get the pills. Last week, I only had about 8 pills off to taper....and yes, I feel horrible. I don't want to talk to anyone, my jaw is set tight and I feel like I am not in my body. Physically, I am totally sick. Nauseous, on the toilet all the time - - expecially the first 2 days....and really really bad insomnia. If you have heard of restless legs at night....that is a side effect too. I am sitting here at work writing this when I should be working. I am hoping I will feel motivated to get my work done in a few days. Yes, I have craved the medicine and have been more than tempted to get on the internet...
Bad thing...I have two small children whom I have to take care of and a husband who doesn't even know. I am doing this all alone. It sucks. All I can say to you is bear with it. I know that down the road we will all feel better and be one of the people who can share their recovery stories. I feel for you....having to play with your band this weekend. That's horrible. I had houseguests last week while I was going through the tapering and had to "fake" feeling good. It was VERY VERY hard.
