So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he doesn't usually think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us."
~ROTFLMAO!!!~ I used to call that "Will Power," and would inflict my selfish and self-seeking ways onto any situation that called for my Magnanimous Participation. I need to be careful not to "snatch it back."
Let me second that....thank God for AA...and thank God I have a job because I'm only 6 days into my 17 days off and my head is going off! I need a meeting!
Why don't you start one here? Let's agree on a time to logon, pick a topic from the reading, and have a discussion. We can't possibly accomodate everyone, however, maybe get a majority? Either that or say, "On Monday @ 1:00 Pacific Standard Time (what's that in GMT?) or whatever, VWGirl is going to be the virtual chairperson for the topic of Step #2, Hope."
Or something? Maybe a group telecon?
Or we can just press on the way it's been working... :)
I'm not at of my place and away from my personal PC for about 12 hours Monday through Friday. Sunday afternoon might work for me..........but not sure....but I like the idea!
I learned from an early age that I had to be in control. That grownups were not to be trusted. Being in control was how I survived for many yrs. I met alcohol and it became my friend it gave me more control. more courage, helped me to survive. Because there was no God in heaven who was going to rescue me. No caregiver,no one. It was all about me!
I carried my so called friend with me for many yrs. I didn't give a hoots a-- about anyone including me. I thought I was in control because alcohol gave me a voice. The voice of false courage. It is not my fault that I was thrown into these pits. But it is my responsibility to not stay there. The selfish acts that I performed are many.
Now today I choose to let go let God. Because if I stay in charge of my self will I would likely be drowning myself in alcohol being a selfish b----. Not caring for anyone or anything.
One of the first things I had to deal with was putting up with other people. They didn't do what I wanted, act the way I wanted, or say the things I wanted. I don't suffer fools well. Acceptance was (and still is) the key in allowing the world to go on without me having to make commentary, pass judgement, or provide contempt prior to inspection. I'm learning how to love people for who and what they are in the deepest sense--and that's an incredible gift that sobriety has provided me--and an unexpected one. Early on, I'd read Stacey's (24Gordon) postings and they oozed love and compassion--and she doesn't even know who I am. Thank you, Stacey, for your patience. THAT is a truly awesome experience for me (and one that comes and goes). I'm working on "The Modified List" (Step #8) and beginning to realize that there really aren't alot of good grudges and, after deeming my part in them to the extent I realize I have harmed others, I think I'm getting it. The Step Nine Promises are real...
QUOTE
"You can love others only to the extent that you love yourself" from, "The Knight in Rusty Armor," by Robert Fisher
