Today I went to coffee with a friend that I used to drink with. We work in the same field (clinical research) and have always had inspiring conversations. He sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet him for coffee. I thought, can't hurt, it is only 12:00pm and he has been 100% supportive of my sobriety, even asking me every once in awhile, "how much time do you have now?". So I felt safe going with him and spending some time discussing his research, picking his brain, and just plain old catching up.
We went to coffee and just talked about work, etc...We then drove out to do a little shopping. On the way there he told me he is training for a triathalon and sly added, "since I stopped drinking, I feel so much better". I was floored. I had no idea he quite drinking. I asked him when and he said for a few weeks now. I asked him why and he said matter of factly, "I just made the decision and stopped". I asked him why he hadn't told me since he know I am recovering and he said, "I made the decision on my own, it is something I want to do for myself, and haven't really looked back since". I asked him if he had w/d's or got a noisy head on weekends when he typically drank A LOT. He said, "no, once I made the decision I've just been doing other things that are helpful, such as exercise".
I can not determine if he is an alcoholic. Only he can make that determination. However, I find it amazing that he just realized this could be a problem and stopped. No meetings, no sponsor, no declaration to the world that he is sober. He is a very motivated man and it is quite possible that he recognized that his drinking could hinder him and just quit. Regardless, I felt so grateful that I kept the coffee date. No matter if he goes to AA or uses exercise to keep him straight...he has the same desire as I have: a desire to not drink.
Amazing and wonderful.
Hi Zipper,
Thanks for sharing that inspirational post. My Sponsor reminds me when I get on my high-horse about AA, that AA is not the only way people get and stay sober...it's the only way I've found for myself to get and stay sober one day at a time...but I know it's certainly not for everyone. AA has taught me to have an open-mind...thank goodness! Hope you are doing well!
Geri
Thanks for sharing that inspirational post. My Sponsor reminds me when I get on my high-horse about AA, that AA is not the only way people get and stay sober...it's the only way I've found for myself to get and stay sober one day at a time...but I know it's certainly not for everyone. AA has taught me to have an open-mind...thank goodness! Hope you are doing well!
Geri
Gidday Zipper
The words sly added done it for me as i think there is more to that little addition of the conversation ..I think he thinks you are ok:)
light and love zac
The words sly added done it for me as i think there is more to that little addition of the conversation ..I think he thinks you are ok:)
light and love zac
Zipper,
I was amazed at the number of "us" there really are--in AND out of the rooms.
When I first decided to go to AA I started running--"marathon training" I called it. I wanted to 'get healthy' and besides, the endorphines gave me a pleasant high that I had been missing. I was up to 40+ miles a week and it still wasn't enough! Luckily I developed hairline fractures in my hips.
We have talked about addiction transference in here before. For addictive personalities like me, it's very easy to become addicted to the habit of running--or swimming laps, or 'training,' or whatever. Just give me an Effing addiction, dammit! I've been addicted to something all my life--including Mood Altering Drugs, women, smoking--even friggin' COFFEE! And let's not even GO THERE regarding candy and chocolate! LOL ANY thing to avoid the inmistakeable realization that part of me was missing. Hope your pal finds what he's looking for.
S
I was amazed at the number of "us" there really are--in AND out of the rooms.
When I first decided to go to AA I started running--"marathon training" I called it. I wanted to 'get healthy' and besides, the endorphines gave me a pleasant high that I had been missing. I was up to 40+ miles a week and it still wasn't enough! Luckily I developed hairline fractures in my hips.
We have talked about addiction transference in here before. For addictive personalities like me, it's very easy to become addicted to the habit of running--or swimming laps, or 'training,' or whatever. Just give me an Effing addiction, dammit! I've been addicted to something all my life--including Mood Altering Drugs, women, smoking--even friggin' COFFEE! And let's not even GO THERE regarding candy and chocolate! LOL ANY thing to avoid the inmistakeable realization that part of me was missing. Hope your pal finds what he's looking for.
S
I wish I had the same willpower as your friend Zipper, I've tried to just do the whole make the decision and stop thing but it's so damn hard, I always end up going back. I guess I just like the high, but how do you get out of that frame of mind where your sole purpose if you're going through a bad patch is to go get drunk or take drugs or smoke? A little off topic, sorry, but I am in awe of people who can just make a decision and stick to it like that. It amazes me...
Izzy
Izzy
And the beautiful thing is that in you he found a human being he knew would understand and support him....there are so many ways our spirits touch each other. Isn't life grand!
Hi Izzy, I hope you're well. Sometimes part of me makes decisions that another part of me just doesn't want to stick to....so it depends what part is in the driving seat as to whether I do it or not.....I think for me its vital that I have a burglar alarm set so that when a thought enters my head the part of me that made the original decision can turn up and take control....if he can't do that I need to strengthen him and find him some allies....does that make any sense at all...lol?
Martin
Hi Izzy, I hope you're well. Sometimes part of me makes decisions that another part of me just doesn't want to stick to....so it depends what part is in the driving seat as to whether I do it or not.....I think for me its vital that I have a burglar alarm set so that when a thought enters my head the part of me that made the original decision can turn up and take control....if he can't do that I need to strengthen him and find him some allies....does that make any sense at all...lol?
Martin
