I lost a friend last night. I guess his problems got to be to much and he felt he couldn't deal with it anymore, so when his buddies left his house, he wrote his 8 years old daughter a note telling her he'd always love her, then got the gun, went to the closet and shot himself in the head....
I always thought he was so strong. Yeah, he drank his beer, and smoked his pot, but he was the funniest, most loving person you could ever know, and now in the blink of an eye...... He's gone.....
Peace out, Lester D. I Love Ya, and I'll Miss You, More Than You'll Ever Know!
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I lost a friend to oxy and he was the kindest soul. It still hurts and I still miss him.
That is so sad about his daughter. I couldn't even imagine how she must be feeling.
Saying prayers for you...
That is so sad about his daughter. I couldn't even imagine how she must be feeling.
Saying prayers for you...
I also lost a friend to this wicked desiese she died detoxing from heroin. She was not the picture that you get in your head of a heroin addict. She was a mom, a friend, a wife and a beautiful person. I sometimes feel as if I am leaving her behind. I didn't make any better choices than she did. Something larger than me and her both made that decision. I think of her often.
My thoughts are with you today and my prayers it is a terribly hard thing to deal with. I had to decide to live after my brush with death and it hasn't always been easy. We have to keep our faith over fear and dare to live. Be kind to yourself today and patient. You have been through so much.
Love,
Jane
My thoughts are with you today and my prayers it is a terribly hard thing to deal with. I had to decide to live after my brush with death and it hasn't always been easy. We have to keep our faith over fear and dare to live. Be kind to yourself today and patient. You have been through so much.
Love,
Jane
I know theres not one word I can say to help any of your pain but please know my heart hurts for you & those youve lost
molly
molly
IM so sorry for your loss,,,the same thing happened to me ,,well little driffrent.I was visting a freind ,,,he drank the bad drink,and hes son died 4 days before of a hunting accident,,,well the day after he fell in the safeway parking lot ,,they rushed him to the ,ward and he died that day ...the greif of saddness was so bad ,,,but I did get to hug him ,,,and hold him ,,,but it so sad ,,because we all ,,humans ..have those words ...wait ,,COULD I HAVE SAVED HIM,god did ,,he took him with him ,,,,hes pain was to much ,,,please dont be hard on yourselfe ,,its ok to cry ,,you wish in your heart ,,you could helped him ,sweety,,thats normal to feel the way you do,,,my angel.love to you,,poopie.its funny how we want a pill ..and they really just magnafi the saddness,,,remember that,,,remember ,when we didnt takethem ,,we were more calm..we all just wanted the super mom .person .that good feeling ..well thats no good ....poopie
A2O...........
i pray for love, peace and comfort to come inside your heart.......
and also for the families and especially the little girl..............
he must of been feeling so hopeless and alone.........
that is why we must be kind and loving to one another..........
we have to pray and ASK GOD to open our hearts to the hurting and lost...
to ask God to SHOW us those that are hurting so very bad inside.....
and to ask God to give you what you need to help someone, even if it is just a kind word........
sometimes comming to an internet board like this may be someones last attempt of human understanding and to be embraced.........
God Bless you A2O............
and all the board posters....
i love you
thumper
i pray for love, peace and comfort to come inside your heart.......
and also for the families and especially the little girl..............
he must of been feeling so hopeless and alone.........
that is why we must be kind and loving to one another..........
we have to pray and ASK GOD to open our hearts to the hurting and lost...
to ask God to SHOW us those that are hurting so very bad inside.....
and to ask God to give you what you need to help someone, even if it is just a kind word........
sometimes comming to an internet board like this may be someones last attempt of human understanding and to be embraced.........
God Bless you A2O............
and all the board posters....
i love you
thumper
A2O,
The pain you must be experiencing is unimaginable. I am sorry for your friend, for his daughter, for you... in the middle of this fight you are fighting now. It's so difficult to understand why someone would take their own life sometimes, and then sometimes it's not so difficult -- try not go get stuck on the not so difficult. My brother lost two of his close friends - one when he was 17, one when he was 20, and he could have gone down the same path, and he also apent a lot of time wondering why did this have to happen to him when he was going through something so hard at the time. And when I left college, about 4 months later, a woman I sang with - a vibrant, beautiful woman - killed herself and everyone was floored because she was bigger than life and nobody in the world would have even seen it coming. I guess what I'm trying to say in way too many words is that we each have our own journey. That was his, now it's part of yours... but keep it with you to move forward and do the right things for yourself. Because that's all we can do...
Sorry for the ramble.
I'm sending some giant hugs your way...
Peace,
SP
The pain you must be experiencing is unimaginable. I am sorry for your friend, for his daughter, for you... in the middle of this fight you are fighting now. It's so difficult to understand why someone would take their own life sometimes, and then sometimes it's not so difficult -- try not go get stuck on the not so difficult. My brother lost two of his close friends - one when he was 17, one when he was 20, and he could have gone down the same path, and he also apent a lot of time wondering why did this have to happen to him when he was going through something so hard at the time. And when I left college, about 4 months later, a woman I sang with - a vibrant, beautiful woman - killed herself and everyone was floored because she was bigger than life and nobody in the world would have even seen it coming. I guess what I'm trying to say in way too many words is that we each have our own journey. That was his, now it's part of yours... but keep it with you to move forward and do the right things for yourself. Because that's all we can do...
Sorry for the ramble.
I'm sending some giant hugs your way...
Peace,
SP
Thanks so much for all your support.
This guy was one person I can honestly say was a good hearted person. He cared more about others than he did himself. He would of given the shirt off his back to help someone out, and did without before asking someone for help. That's probably why he ended up doing what he did.
It's like my heart just aches for his pain.
I just wish I could of went back a few days before and picked up the phone and called him and maybe something could of been said to of helped the situation, I just don't know..........
Heartbroke and don't know which way to turn...
This guy was one person I can honestly say was a good hearted person. He cared more about others than he did himself. He would of given the shirt off his back to help someone out, and did without before asking someone for help. That's probably why he ended up doing what he did.
It's like my heart just aches for his pain.
I just wish I could of went back a few days before and picked up the phone and called him and maybe something could of been said to of helped the situation, I just don't know..........
Heartbroke and don't know which way to turn...
Don't turn to drugs or you'll be as dead as your friend is.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Gina
I'm sorry for your loss.
Gina
I'm sorry Oxy...that really sucks.
I went to the visitation tonight. I was sooooo sad. It was open casket, and that surprised me, considering he shot himself. I guess he shot himself with a 22 rifle, and put the gun below his chin facing upward, so if the bullet did exit, it exited in the back of his head.
It was so sad, so many tears. Yet, his 8 year old daughter ran around playing as if her daddy were standing there talking with the rest of us.
We all shared alot of memories and also tried to understand why he did it. Yet we all know the only person who truly knows the reason he really did it, is him and he can't tell us why.
When I got home, I cried like an uncontrollable child. I wanted to throw sh*t and scream and yell. I just wanted him back, if only for a moment to hug him and tell him I loved him.
I've never had someone close to me commit suicide and it hurts so f*cking bad. I just don't understand. I've thought about it myself, many times before, but actually doing it. Can anybody tell me why? I need to come to terms with this and don't know how. It's eating me up inside.
Every time I turn around the tears are rolling down my face. The only thing I think about is him. I see his smiling face in everything I do. Why is it eating me up like this?
Somebody out there has surely been through something like this before, how do I get it out of my head? How do I put it to rest? Or can you ever put something like this to rest?
I guess maybe I've never really thought about death that much, but now that this has happened I look at everything so differently. I mean, we struggle everyday. Working, paying bills, just getting by, and for what, I just don't understand. To die? What the f*ck is up with that? What is our purpose here?
To stuggle with everyday struggles, addiction, bills, heartache, losing loved ones, only to die ourselves?
I'm just so confused? This has only made me ask myself more questions about life and right now i'm finding no answers. I guess the real question is, to give up or go on. Maybe Lester did have the answer, and i'm am just now finding the answer myself.
Alone and Confused in this insane world! Susan
It was so sad, so many tears. Yet, his 8 year old daughter ran around playing as if her daddy were standing there talking with the rest of us.
We all shared alot of memories and also tried to understand why he did it. Yet we all know the only person who truly knows the reason he really did it, is him and he can't tell us why.
When I got home, I cried like an uncontrollable child. I wanted to throw sh*t and scream and yell. I just wanted him back, if only for a moment to hug him and tell him I loved him.
I've never had someone close to me commit suicide and it hurts so f*cking bad. I just don't understand. I've thought about it myself, many times before, but actually doing it. Can anybody tell me why? I need to come to terms with this and don't know how. It's eating me up inside.
Every time I turn around the tears are rolling down my face. The only thing I think about is him. I see his smiling face in everything I do. Why is it eating me up like this?
Somebody out there has surely been through something like this before, how do I get it out of my head? How do I put it to rest? Or can you ever put something like this to rest?
I guess maybe I've never really thought about death that much, but now that this has happened I look at everything so differently. I mean, we struggle everyday. Working, paying bills, just getting by, and for what, I just don't understand. To die? What the f*ck is up with that? What is our purpose here?
To stuggle with everyday struggles, addiction, bills, heartache, losing loved ones, only to die ourselves?
I'm just so confused? This has only made me ask myself more questions about life and right now i'm finding no answers. I guess the real question is, to give up or go on. Maybe Lester did have the answer, and i'm am just now finding the answer myself.
Alone and Confused in this insane world! Susan
You put it to rest by knowing they are in a much better place. People don't take their lives because things are working; they do it to stop the pain.
His pain is over. He is now in a place (at least I believe) where all things make sense and there is no pain. He might even be near.
I am so sorry, A2O. Like Gina said, drugs for you now won't help. Stay strong. Post, cry, scream, whatever it takes.
Huge hugs.
His pain is over. He is now in a place (at least I believe) where all things make sense and there is no pain. He might even be near.
I am so sorry, A2O. Like Gina said, drugs for you now won't help. Stay strong. Post, cry, scream, whatever it takes.
Huge hugs.
Dear A2O:
I'm so sorry about your friend. I have no answers to all the questions you ask. I wish I did. Platitudes like everything happens for a reason, make me mad and make no sense to me. The big question "why?' Why are we here?" "What does it all mean" I've asked all those questions. I've been angry at God. Things don't seem fair and they aren't fair (I'm probably not being much help here). Just know that he was your friend, and you cared about him. You'll probably go thru several stages, one is the angry stage, I kind of got stuck there. I found anger hurt less than pain. But it's a strong emontion, so I was able to vent. Everyone said how angry I was. And I was, and sometimes still are, especially when it seems like good people go and bad people stay and live long destructive lives. Taking your own life is so sad. My father's oldest sister committed suicide (she had 2 young daughters), then the daughters grew up and one married a man who also committed suicide. I mean first your mother then your husband???? She's remarried now, and their both o.k. both daughters I mean. No one knows why her mother did it. No one talks about it. I guess I'm rambling, I'm sorry, obviously what you said hit a chord. Hang in there, remember there are several stages and you'll go thru it at your own time.. No one needs to tell you how to grieve. It takes what it takes. Each person is different. My thoughts are with you
I'm so sorry about your friend. I have no answers to all the questions you ask. I wish I did. Platitudes like everything happens for a reason, make me mad and make no sense to me. The big question "why?' Why are we here?" "What does it all mean" I've asked all those questions. I've been angry at God. Things don't seem fair and they aren't fair (I'm probably not being much help here). Just know that he was your friend, and you cared about him. You'll probably go thru several stages, one is the angry stage, I kind of got stuck there. I found anger hurt less than pain. But it's a strong emontion, so I was able to vent. Everyone said how angry I was. And I was, and sometimes still are, especially when it seems like good people go and bad people stay and live long destructive lives. Taking your own life is so sad. My father's oldest sister committed suicide (she had 2 young daughters), then the daughters grew up and one married a man who also committed suicide. I mean first your mother then your husband???? She's remarried now, and their both o.k. both daughters I mean. No one knows why her mother did it. No one talks about it. I guess I'm rambling, I'm sorry, obviously what you said hit a chord. Hang in there, remember there are several stages and you'll go thru it at your own time.. No one needs to tell you how to grieve. It takes what it takes. Each person is different. My thoughts are with you
