Shirley Front And Center

O.K. where you at, Shirley?

Please let me know you are alright.
..Terrapin..
..I read ya other thread..its a horrible feeling to think no one cares..maybe sum ppl dunno what to write or that..i dunno..but im always hoping my fellow addicts are ok and moving on with life..i used to get that same feeling until bryn slapped me upside my head and brought me outta my moods lol..thxs bryn ..but just wanna say terrapin hope ya feeling well and good now..Robbie..
Thanks Robbie!! You just made me cry. I just got in a terrible fight with my room-mate. And when I logged on, I read your post. I'm having a hard time coping right now and if it wasn't for you guys, I know I'd lose it! I feel like all I have around me are users and I'm spreading myself thin. I can't take care of myself and I've got all these other guys around here expecting me to buy thier smokes and pay for them to cop. I'm on methadone and I still find myself paying for other guys addictions! H$%%! I can't even pay for my methadone half the time! I know what you're going to say. (cut them off) but they're like leaches. They actually borrowed money off my neighbor!!!! O.K. I'll quit ranting! Sorry about that! I think I need to go into therapy. I know I do. But I can't afford it. It'll just be 1 more bill to worry about. I'll be all right in a minute. I'm just really irritated. Believe me. No one that I'm associating with right now does care about me. They just care about what I can do for them. I'm sick of it. I was glad to be home. Now I wish I could be anywhere else!!!
..Terrapin..
..Im sorry to read your feeling the way you are..yes it is easy for us to sit here and tell other addicts what to do about their probs and that..we aint walking in your shoes..i know what ya mean about staying away from users and getting them off our backs..they ain't friends..if they were..they would stay away and let ya get on with life..they're try take advantage of the vunerable..im not gonna patronize ya and say i feel your pain..cos i can't..but you know what a life in recovery does this to us..and its even worse when theres the bills and that to be payed..then ya get people tryna suck the last bit of sanity ya got right outta ya..but crying is good at times..although not to feel that way..it helps to get the emotions out..and you know you have friends on here..life sucks when ya feeling the way you are..but there comes a time when things look up..although you can't see it that way right now..theres always something that turns up to bring a smile and a bit of light to your life..and things start to look brighter..i really wish that time will come soon to ya..can i ask though..don't ya feel strong enough to turn these leeches away from ya door..do ya feel that they've got some kinda hold on ya.or is it more that you can't say no to them when they're looking to cop or borrow money off ya ?..i mean i used to feel a bit guilty turning my old using mates down when they would ask me to go get them some brown..and even borrow money which i never saw back..you know they're not good for you..but it is easier said than done..but you know you're never be outta their reach unless ya try get through to them that you can't have them in your life while ya trying to recover..it took a while for the people i used to smoke wih to get my point that i can't have them coming round or ringing for their bulls***..i really wish i knew what to say to ya to try cheer ya up..but i dont to be honest..but just wanna let ya know that ya gotta friend here if ever ya wanna vent or just have a chat in general..try take it easy on yaself..and ya shud be proud of yaself that ya aint gave into anything more than ya meth..that shows the strength in ya right there..we all need time to cry and vent cos thats part of recovery to..Robbie..