Hi all
I having been using dope every day for just about 3 months. What started as a recreational curiosity developed very quickly into something more before I realized what was happening. Actually, if I'm being honest I did realize and just didn't want to stop using something that made me feel so good and safe. I struggle w depression and anxiety, some of it related to sexual trauma and some of it less easy to pinpoint, and heroin is the first drug (prescription drugs from different psych doctors included) that has lessened the weight of some of these troubles. I use anywhere between half gram to gram per every day or so and I've already developed a tolerance to where I know longer feel euphoric every time, but I still feel like there's a shield and every hard harmful thing in the world.
But I don't want to continue to use. I've been lying to my love ones about my usage, rapidly draining my savings and already my daily life often revolves around copping as soon as I wake up its a contest with myself to see how long I can put off using my first bag. I know that many people on this board have been using much longer and I don't imagine that stopping for me will be nearly as difficult as it is for a long term user, but I could still use some advice and general encouragement about stopping. Even as a write this a little voice is telling me that I don't have a problem with heroin and that I should just go get some, feel better and not worry about it--but u know that's the voice of this drug. It's been just over 24 hours since I ran out. I feel achy, have a headache, slight runny nose and sore throat. I'm expecting bongs to get worse by tomorrow just based off of the one other time I let myself go longer than a day without using. I'm worried about the withdrawal symptoms, but more worried about maintaining my resolve not to use. What are the reasons that you all quit? Could really use some evidence that living without h will eventually feel better than with it. Any words would help I'm scared and filling up with self disgust but I really don't want to do it anymore.
All the best,
S
Hi Jj,
Welcome to a habit, right? I hear ya, and you brought me waaaaay back. Maybe three months is some magic number, but I recall the same exact way you are feeling into about three months.
There's a million reasons to quit, and you've already named several like lying, having to fight yourself to not go cop or see how long it takes, spending all your loot. People may think it is BS early on, but ultimately what is up the road besides death and jail? Oh and I get ya as I was a morning copper. I had to have my morning bag. I'd cop extra the day before and swear I'd save a morning bag so I could just function and of course I'd do it before the sun rose.
First off you can do this. Personally I was shocked as s*it the first time I went cold turkey. So being prepared and not expecting "flu like symptoms" helps. Wit the flu can you just go call someone, put up your money and poof it goes away? No.
Years ago somebody told me that each time you got through X amount of days not using. It's usually three before you pick up. Anyway the longer you go early on like yourself it'll be easier. Anotherwords not picking up and using rejecting that voice in your head and hell in your body the stronger you will be if that makes sense.
There's some off the cuff ways to beat the withdrawls like hot baths, antihistamines, soup, lots of water, but sleep loss? Get prepared. Once you know it's got to happen it makes it easier. They are just a few and other people probably have better ideas and advice, but please know you have support.
Hoping you are O.K. and you're doing the right thing. You can get through it. Staying clean is the hard part.
Welcome to a habit, right? I hear ya, and you brought me waaaaay back. Maybe three months is some magic number, but I recall the same exact way you are feeling into about three months.
There's a million reasons to quit, and you've already named several like lying, having to fight yourself to not go cop or see how long it takes, spending all your loot. People may think it is BS early on, but ultimately what is up the road besides death and jail? Oh and I get ya as I was a morning copper. I had to have my morning bag. I'd cop extra the day before and swear I'd save a morning bag so I could just function and of course I'd do it before the sun rose.
First off you can do this. Personally I was shocked as s*it the first time I went cold turkey. So being prepared and not expecting "flu like symptoms" helps. Wit the flu can you just go call someone, put up your money and poof it goes away? No.
Years ago somebody told me that each time you got through X amount of days not using. It's usually three before you pick up. Anyway the longer you go early on like yourself it'll be easier. Anotherwords not picking up and using rejecting that voice in your head and hell in your body the stronger you will be if that makes sense.
There's some off the cuff ways to beat the withdrawls like hot baths, antihistamines, soup, lots of water, but sleep loss? Get prepared. Once you know it's got to happen it makes it easier. They are just a few and other people probably have better ideas and advice, but please know you have support.
Hoping you are O.K. and you're doing the right thing. You can get through it. Staying clean is the hard part.
