Am so fed up of waiting now. My boyfriend has had 2 pee tests now and he is now waiting on his drugs councilor and doctor to arrange another appointment and even then they dont know when he will get the subbies. Am so stressed out with it all. I just wish he could start them because the gear is draining our money and am getting mad at him all the time but I know he cant help it or hurry it on. He needs this stuff and is trying his hardest to control it just so he is normal on a day to day basis and I have to be thankfull he is NOT getting out of his head all the time. He tries to spend money on me, I think because of the guilt cos of the money he is spendng on the gear.
God I really feel for people on this stuff and as bad as this sounds I can see why addicts turn to theft etc because they need this stuff and its soooo expensive and he aint having that much a day. God knows what it would be costing if he was a heavy heavy user.
QUESTION 1....is injecting worse than smoking?
QUESTION 2...what are the effects of mixing the white with the brown? is this worse, just Tinman am sure you do this and my bf said he used to do this before he met me and said its really bad???
Just when I thought I was getting my life back on track and then I go and have a relapse and start feeling sorry for myself. He has just bought me a 200cc quad bike for my 24th birthday which is next week..I mean I gotta be gratefull, this thing was not cheap. What heroin addict spends the very last of his money on a present for someone else and leaves himself skint with no cash for smoke????
Moan over.....thanks for reading.
Love BunnyRocker xx
Sounds like your stressed. The questions about what is worse i've only used I.V so I don't know but, i'ld say that I.V 100% has more risk....infections, hep c, overdose, HIV, exc. Neither is pretty both are addictive. Mixing H with coke or crack of course is dangerous it's also pretty common. I only mixed it every now and then money was a factor i'ld rather had H then either coke/ crack. It is not good for you to even wondering about these things. It's ALL BAD it all hurts the user everyone who is near them "you know that already". As for the subbies i got the "run a round" to when trying to get on them that's the reason i just started methadone. A LOT less hassle to get methadone i walked in 1 hour later got a dose. The subs I was never getting a clear answer on by anyone. four months into my methadone treatment the clinic started to offer subs "at a higher cost" then methadone. I wish i had got the subs thou the methadone was a monster to get off of. Sometimes you gotta jump thru the hoops to get what you want hopefully soon he'll get his script. Rember to focas on you and your life try not to let his using or not using rule everything about you. My mom lives with a drinker his actions control her whole life my brother and i say he's her heroin she is sickly addicted to that man it's so unhealthy.
Yeh I kinda no what your talking about wiv your mum cos minen is the same with her husband. She is sickly addicted to him and would so anything for him regardless. She has stood by him when he has cheated numeruous times.
I am trying not to let this affect me but the truth is as strong as I have become everytime I think back to when I didnt know what the problem was all the pain I went through, all the lies he told me, all the times he cried on my shoulder wanting to kill himself, one time in particular which I will never forget was our daughters first birthday!! How could he spoil my little girls birthday?? He had gone 2 days clean then because his family was coming and e pannicked he went out and got something and was totally out of it and total embarrasment for me!! I think everyone else would of been able to tell he had had something. I dont know if I will ever fully forgive him for what he has put me through. Although he didnt coose to be an addict and cant really control his actions right now he took the choice to take it in the first place as an escape when he thought things were bad and all that goes through my head is what about my escape...he didnt once thnk about me or his daugher that very first time and that makes him a selfish bast**d!!
I wont let this control my life any longer. I was ready to move on just before he confessed everything to me. He has then controled the usage since and is only using enough to get him through the day as normal as possible. Its just the fact that he has to go away all the time to sort himself out (recharge his battery) whilst I have to do most of the looking after my daughter etc and its just the same old cycle everyday! I nursed him while he done cold turkey. I would lock him in the house i I went out, little did I know that he already had gear in the house although he had swore hehad nothing. He would have a smoke while I was out then continue to let me nurse him, feed him, bathe him etc when I got back actually thinking he was clean. What a mug!! Thats when I told him I would never helo him do cold turkey again and I havent since!
I really hope all this wait is worthwhile!! If he dont stay clean then he is out for good cos I have been through enough with him.
Thanks for your reply anyways. Love BunnyRocker xx
I am trying not to let this affect me but the truth is as strong as I have become everytime I think back to when I didnt know what the problem was all the pain I went through, all the lies he told me, all the times he cried on my shoulder wanting to kill himself, one time in particular which I will never forget was our daughters first birthday!! How could he spoil my little girls birthday?? He had gone 2 days clean then because his family was coming and e pannicked he went out and got something and was totally out of it and total embarrasment for me!! I think everyone else would of been able to tell he had had something. I dont know if I will ever fully forgive him for what he has put me through. Although he didnt coose to be an addict and cant really control his actions right now he took the choice to take it in the first place as an escape when he thought things were bad and all that goes through my head is what about my escape...he didnt once thnk about me or his daugher that very first time and that makes him a selfish bast**d!!
I wont let this control my life any longer. I was ready to move on just before he confessed everything to me. He has then controled the usage since and is only using enough to get him through the day as normal as possible. Its just the fact that he has to go away all the time to sort himself out (recharge his battery) whilst I have to do most of the looking after my daughter etc and its just the same old cycle everyday! I nursed him while he done cold turkey. I would lock him in the house i I went out, little did I know that he already had gear in the house although he had swore hehad nothing. He would have a smoke while I was out then continue to let me nurse him, feed him, bathe him etc when I got back actually thinking he was clean. What a mug!! Thats when I told him I would never helo him do cold turkey again and I havent since!
I really hope all this wait is worthwhile!! If he dont stay clean then he is out for good cos I have been through enough with him.
Thanks for your reply anyways. Love BunnyRocker xx
