I am the sister of a Heroin Addict. My brother has been using Heroin for Many many years.
Tonight he called me. He called collect. I asked if I could call hi right back,and he said yes. I called him back and we talked for a bit. He was sad sounding, depressed I guess, maybe somewhat angry. I asked him if he was using, and he said Yes. I said how long, and he said 20 years. I knew he was using again, he just never admitted it to me. I asked if he needed help, rehab.. something. He said he had a few numbers of places, just no money. I told him both my mom and I were willing to help. He mentioned this medacine you have surgically inserted that costs 400.00. I told him I would call my mom and call him back. I told him we want him to get better, and we cared about him. My mom then called him, and she offered to put him in a rehab and then when he got out, she would get him a car, a apartment, clothes.. Everything. He said no way, and told her to F herself. Said he wanted the 400.00. She said no. She said that he needed rehab. he hung up on her.
Now as I sit here crying, I am oh so sad. I think and picture him hungry, sleeping int he woods, crying perhaps. I wish I could just hug him and tell him I love him. I do oh so much, and fear he will die from this addiction. He is a new father to a little girl ( she was born in September ) he was kicked out of the parents house ( mind you he is 30 ) about 2 weeks ago. He hasnt been back to see his daughter. He told me he was staying with a friend, who had no TV and he slept ont he floor with no food. Gosh, is this true? Is he trying ot make me feel bad. How could I sit here and let him hurt? Am I? Ugh! He also told me a few times that he hated life and wished he would die. about 5 years ago he was revived from a overdose. He told me tonight he wished he wouldnt have been found.
I guess I am confused, sad and reaching for any help or support. I am the proud new mom to a little boy ( he is 1 month old ) This should be a happy time for me, I should be caring for him, and nothing should hurt or make me sad right now, as this little boy needs his mom! :0(
I hope I dont offend anyone, and hope someone can or will offer me some advice.
Dear LeeLee,
Welcome to the board and congratulations on the birth of your precious son! What a blessing!
Bless your heart! You sound like such a good sister. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. While using, they are the best liars and manipulators in the world. They aren't capable of caring about anything but the drugs. That is why the reaction to your mom when she said he would help with rehab but no money. She did EXACTLY the right thing even though the outcome seems bad. If we keep bailing them out, we delay their recovery. No consequences...no change. I KNOW the heartache you are feeling. I experienced it with my 30 year old son, who thank God has 14 months heroin free. It's been a very painful journey though. One that left him an additional $30,000 in debt (he was already $20,000 in debt for his bar tabs and poor money management), on probation (for DUI and stealing), without a license and without a job.
Here are some things I have learned along the way....
YOU didn't cause this, YOU can't control this, YOU can't cure it, and YOU can't love him enough to make him stop. There is little you can do to help your brother. Most have to reach some type of "bottom" before they are able to reach out for the help they desperately need. Pray unceasingly for him to stay safe until he is ready for recovery.
You need to go to meetings for yourself and keep posting here. You need as much support and understanding as you can. No one can understand what you're going through unless they've experienced it.
Protect your valuables, e.g., checkbooks, bank statements, charge cards, charge statements, stocks, bonds, jewelry, electronics, collectibles, tools, etc. My jewelry is still in the safe!
Don't believe a word the addict says until they SHOW by their actions that they are in recovery.
Even if they are living with you...even if they're in the next room...YOU can't keep them safe. If they want to use, they will find a way!
Addiction happens even in the BEST of families. My son couldn't be more loved. He was raised in a good Christian home with both parents. It doesn't make any difference. He made a bad choice to use a drug that QUICKLY took control of him and threatened to steal his very soul. Thank God through prayer, the support and advice of this board, some AA and NA meetings, and my son's perseverance (once he reached his bottom) to get his life back we are all doing well again. There were times I didn't think this day would come, but we have to hang on for dear life to the hope that they will!
I KNOW what you are going through, I KNOW your heartache, and I will help in any way I can. Please know that this isn't YOUR fault. Your loved one just made a VERY bad choice to use a drug that has taken control of his. Keep praying with all your heart! I know it's hard, but you need to place him in God's loving hands and ask Him to watch over and protect your brother until he is in recovery and try to keep your life with your new baby as normal as possible. WE ARE TOTALLY POWERLESS OVER THE ADDICTION.
Hey, I was paying for a cell phone (my son has lost his because of not paying his bill) and I gave it to him so I could call him from time to time to make sure he was okay. Guess what? He didn't answer unless he needed or wanted something from me (money, a ride, etc.).
I will keep you, your brother, and your mom in my prayers. Please keep in touch. You might want to try the "Families/Partners of Addicts" forum for advice and support too.
God bless!
Susan
Welcome to the board and congratulations on the birth of your precious son! What a blessing!
Bless your heart! You sound like such a good sister. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. While using, they are the best liars and manipulators in the world. They aren't capable of caring about anything but the drugs. That is why the reaction to your mom when she said he would help with rehab but no money. She did EXACTLY the right thing even though the outcome seems bad. If we keep bailing them out, we delay their recovery. No consequences...no change. I KNOW the heartache you are feeling. I experienced it with my 30 year old son, who thank God has 14 months heroin free. It's been a very painful journey though. One that left him an additional $30,000 in debt (he was already $20,000 in debt for his bar tabs and poor money management), on probation (for DUI and stealing), without a license and without a job.
Here are some things I have learned along the way....
YOU didn't cause this, YOU can't control this, YOU can't cure it, and YOU can't love him enough to make him stop. There is little you can do to help your brother. Most have to reach some type of "bottom" before they are able to reach out for the help they desperately need. Pray unceasingly for him to stay safe until he is ready for recovery.
You need to go to meetings for yourself and keep posting here. You need as much support and understanding as you can. No one can understand what you're going through unless they've experienced it.
Protect your valuables, e.g., checkbooks, bank statements, charge cards, charge statements, stocks, bonds, jewelry, electronics, collectibles, tools, etc. My jewelry is still in the safe!
Don't believe a word the addict says until they SHOW by their actions that they are in recovery.
Even if they are living with you...even if they're in the next room...YOU can't keep them safe. If they want to use, they will find a way!
Addiction happens even in the BEST of families. My son couldn't be more loved. He was raised in a good Christian home with both parents. It doesn't make any difference. He made a bad choice to use a drug that QUICKLY took control of him and threatened to steal his very soul. Thank God through prayer, the support and advice of this board, some AA and NA meetings, and my son's perseverance (once he reached his bottom) to get his life back we are all doing well again. There were times I didn't think this day would come, but we have to hang on for dear life to the hope that they will!
I KNOW what you are going through, I KNOW your heartache, and I will help in any way I can. Please know that this isn't YOUR fault. Your loved one just made a VERY bad choice to use a drug that has taken control of his. Keep praying with all your heart! I know it's hard, but you need to place him in God's loving hands and ask Him to watch over and protect your brother until he is in recovery and try to keep your life with your new baby as normal as possible. WE ARE TOTALLY POWERLESS OVER THE ADDICTION.
Hey, I was paying for a cell phone (my son has lost his because of not paying his bill) and I gave it to him so I could call him from time to time to make sure he was okay. Guess what? He didn't answer unless he needed or wanted something from me (money, a ride, etc.).
I will keep you, your brother, and your mom in my prayers. Please keep in touch. You might want to try the "Families/Partners of Addicts" forum for advice and support too.
God bless!
Susan
i love susan =)
wise wise good-hearted woman, i wish
peace, serenity and happiness to this
woman for all of her life =)
from lois' son's (ex)girlfriend.
i am a month clean and pushing and i
haven't been this happy in months =))
thank you for being neutral, understanding,
supportive and wise. you are truly
an angel. =))))
your responses to people show you carry
such a big heart! so devoted, so caring, so
genuine, so inspiring and filled with love! you
are a good woman, susan. i mean this.
wise wise good-hearted woman, i wish
peace, serenity and happiness to this
woman for all of her life =)
from lois' son's (ex)girlfriend.
i am a month clean and pushing and i
haven't been this happy in months =))
thank you for being neutral, understanding,
supportive and wise. you are truly
an angel. =))))
your responses to people show you carry
such a big heart! so devoted, so caring, so
genuine, so inspiring and filled with love! you
are a good woman, susan. i mean this.
paisleydaisy is my alias, by the way. i registed
finally-no more Guest. i needed to establish
a real, for sure personality for myself.
finally-no more Guest. i needed to establish
a real, for sure personality for myself.
Hello there!
Your story sounds like mine. My husband is a heroin addict, and is now in active addiction. He has just disappeared! I have no idea where is is, what he's doing, etc. It can be heart-breaking! At times I feel like I cannot go on dealing with the pain of not knowing. At those times, I come to this wonderful website and I READ, READ, READ! And then I post, and always get the most caring responses. I thank God for this site! Keep posting and keep reading. You will find great comfort here. I am also (on advice given here) going to attend NarAnon meetings, as well as seeing a counselor. We have to be able to save ourselves, and not let the beast of heroin kill us, too. They get help when they want it, if ever. They LIE!!!!!! They manipulate!!!!! It is not them, it's the drug. Hang in there! I am praying for you and your brother! Oh - and check out the board for families, too!
Love,
Dorothy
Your story sounds like mine. My husband is a heroin addict, and is now in active addiction. He has just disappeared! I have no idea where is is, what he's doing, etc. It can be heart-breaking! At times I feel like I cannot go on dealing with the pain of not knowing. At those times, I come to this wonderful website and I READ, READ, READ! And then I post, and always get the most caring responses. I thank God for this site! Keep posting and keep reading. You will find great comfort here. I am also (on advice given here) going to attend NarAnon meetings, as well as seeing a counselor. We have to be able to save ourselves, and not let the beast of heroin kill us, too. They get help when they want it, if ever. They LIE!!!!!! They manipulate!!!!! It is not them, it's the drug. Hang in there! I am praying for you and your brother! Oh - and check out the board for families, too!
Love,
Dorothy
dear leelee,
your brother was lieing about the medication to get herion money.i have never heard of anything being implanted for herion detoxification and even if there is he would have allowed your mom to take him to rehab because if we want off the s--t we ask for help not money.unfortunatly a lot of us herion addicts die before we hit our bottom,all you can do is pray that he hits bottom first.we cant get help till we really want it so a lot of us never make it to that point.sorry to sound so bleak but i had to die twice (the second time was on my sons birthday) before i finally woke up! i have known many other junkies also and our story is allways the same "jails instutions or death"! if your brother has been doing this drug for 20 years he is luckey to still be here.all you can do now is pray to God that he finally hits his bottom and comes and asks for help getting into an inpatiant rehab.
your brother was lieing about the medication to get herion money.i have never heard of anything being implanted for herion detoxification and even if there is he would have allowed your mom to take him to rehab because if we want off the s--t we ask for help not money.unfortunatly a lot of us herion addicts die before we hit our bottom,all you can do is pray that he hits bottom first.we cant get help till we really want it so a lot of us never make it to that point.sorry to sound so bleak but i had to die twice (the second time was on my sons birthday) before i finally woke up! i have known many other junkies also and our story is allways the same "jails instutions or death"! if your brother has been doing this drug for 20 years he is luckey to still be here.all you can do now is pray to God that he finally hits his bottom and comes and asks for help getting into an inpatiant rehab.
Thank You sooo Much for your replies.
Susan - You are wonderful.
For years, and Imean years, I have spent money western unioning it to him, he would call, and beg and beg. I would always send for his birthday, christmas, easter, every holiday. He would call days, sometimes weeks in advance to make sure I was sending $$. ( I have stopped this now, as of last year )
It's so heartbreaking... But I agree.. He has to make himself better. You hit home in alot of what you said.. It's sooo true. You know I was at the store looking for cell phones for him.. Wanted tosend one to make sure he was safe.. I ended up with a calling card for him.. ( but i never gave him the # )
He tried to call collect twice lastnight, but I didnt answer. I felt incrediby guily , and tried a few minutes later to call back, however I didnt get an answer. I guess it's best that I didnt get ahold of him.
I didnt see the families one before, thank you.. I am going there now!!! I looked , but I htink In my pain, I just let it all out as soon as I found a place that would listen.. :0)
Susan - You are wonderful.
For years, and Imean years, I have spent money western unioning it to him, he would call, and beg and beg. I would always send for his birthday, christmas, easter, every holiday. He would call days, sometimes weeks in advance to make sure I was sending $$. ( I have stopped this now, as of last year )
It's so heartbreaking... But I agree.. He has to make himself better. You hit home in alot of what you said.. It's sooo true. You know I was at the store looking for cell phones for him.. Wanted tosend one to make sure he was safe.. I ended up with a calling card for him.. ( but i never gave him the # )
He tried to call collect twice lastnight, but I didnt answer. I felt incrediby guily , and tried a few minutes later to call back, however I didnt get an answer. I guess it's best that I didnt get ahold of him.
I didnt see the families one before, thank you.. I am going there now!!! I looked , but I htink In my pain, I just let it all out as soon as I found a place that would listen.. :0)
Bruce B-
Thank you for your reply.
I think deep down in my heart, I know this.. I know he has to hit rock bottom, unfortunatly, I feel he will die before he actually gets there. Somehow for all these years, I felt that LOve would make him stop, or something.
HE knows very well how to make me feel bad, and how to make me feel sorry for him. For many years I have sent money, and things. He has even cleaned out my banking account many years ago. His girlfriend at the time went with him, and withdrew the money with a withdraw slip they stole from me. Sad hugh?
Well Thank you again for listening, and I wish you well on your road to recovery.
Thank you for your reply.
I think deep down in my heart, I know this.. I know he has to hit rock bottom, unfortunatly, I feel he will die before he actually gets there. Somehow for all these years, I felt that LOve would make him stop, or something.
HE knows very well how to make me feel bad, and how to make me feel sorry for him. For many years I have sent money, and things. He has even cleaned out my banking account many years ago. His girlfriend at the time went with him, and withdrew the money with a withdraw slip they stole from me. Sad hugh?
Well Thank you again for listening, and I wish you well on your road to recovery.
Lee Lee,
Sorry you are going through this with your brother.....
Have to ask was about this implant of medication. Thinking he was referring to the naltrexone implant. It is a tool that many opiate addict use so they can't screw up. It blocks the effects of opiates if they use.
I wouldn't be giving any money away but wanted you to know that there is such a med, and it has helped many opiate users get thier sh*t together. It is usually used after they detox, roughly 10 days to make sure all opiates are cleared from the system, and usually with other programs either completed like rehab, or out patient.
One word to the wise even if he goes into rehab and gets clean, there shouldn't be to much help from anyone. Love and support one thing, having him come out to a home, a car not good to me. He needs to learn how to take care of himself. Most rehabs will move those interested into sober houses after, where they are put back into life slowly, have food and shelter, get a job and start learning the value of being being productive and earning thier keep, and working for what they need, and want. Lots of support, and addiction counseling still present. They can be there for the time it takes for them to be self sufficient again.
There is always a way back into life if they want it. This will be up to him, but there is no miracle cure and sadly nothing will work until he is ready.......
You take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
Sorry you are going through this with your brother.....
Have to ask was about this implant of medication. Thinking he was referring to the naltrexone implant. It is a tool that many opiate addict use so they can't screw up. It blocks the effects of opiates if they use.
I wouldn't be giving any money away but wanted you to know that there is such a med, and it has helped many opiate users get thier sh*t together. It is usually used after they detox, roughly 10 days to make sure all opiates are cleared from the system, and usually with other programs either completed like rehab, or out patient.
One word to the wise even if he goes into rehab and gets clean, there shouldn't be to much help from anyone. Love and support one thing, having him come out to a home, a car not good to me. He needs to learn how to take care of himself. Most rehabs will move those interested into sober houses after, where they are put back into life slowly, have food and shelter, get a job and start learning the value of being being productive and earning thier keep, and working for what they need, and want. Lots of support, and addiction counseling still present. They can be there for the time it takes for them to be self sufficient again.
There is always a way back into life if they want it. This will be up to him, but there is no miracle cure and sadly nothing will work until he is ready.......
You take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
Dear LeeLee,
I agree with Tina. Naltrexone was probably what your brother was referring to, although even if he was I wouldn't give him CASH for it. I would go with him or arrange for payment for it IF you are inclined to do that. Here's some more information from this website (under addiction medication in the dark bar above) regarding this treatment....
Naltrexone can be effective in reducing cravings and helping patients avoid relapse. However, because patients must take oral naltrexone tablets every day in order to have enough medication in their bloodstream, it is easy to forget or skip doses and difficult to maintain the daily regimen on a consistent basis without close supervision.
For patients who have not been successful with oral naltrexone, a new technique has been developed using naltrexone implants that provide an adequate and constant level of naltrexone in the patient's body for long periods of time: six weeks, six months or twelve months depending on the type of implant. Using a local anaesthetic, a small one-inch incision is made in the lower abdomen or at the back of the upper arm, and a number of pellets are inserted just below the skin. These then release effective doses of naltrexone over a period of time. While the implant is in, if patients inject themselves with heroin, no effect is achieved. After the implant wears off, insertion of a single implant can be followed by a double implant or sequential double implants which provide the longest period of coverage. The implants do not need to be removed at the end of the treatment period and are gradually absorbed by the body. The periods of coverage provided by the implant allows the patient time to experience the process of addiction recovery.
Naltrexone tablets are licensed for the treatment of drug dependency. While the implants are not currently licensed, they are available through private doctors and clinics in the US , UK and Australia . Any doctor performing this procedure should be experienced in the field of addiction, the use of implants, and performing minor surgery. Different clinicians use different regimens. Some begin with a trial of the six-week implant while others use the six-month or the twelve-month implant at the outset. The Coleman Institute (thecolemaninstitute.com/default.asp), located in Orange County , CA and Richmond , VA , provides a range of cutting-edge addiction treatments, including naltrexone implants. After detoxification, they recommend at least two implants lasting 6-10 weeks each, with more pellets if needed. Following implants, they recommend a two to four month period of taking oral naltrexone in a supervised fashion.
Thanks for the very kind words. I am glad to be of help. It's the least I can do for the people on this board. I honestly wouldn't have made it through without all the help I received from here. My spirit was crushed and my heart broken into pieces when I sought help here...and got it!
Love,
Susan
I agree with Tina. Naltrexone was probably what your brother was referring to, although even if he was I wouldn't give him CASH for it. I would go with him or arrange for payment for it IF you are inclined to do that. Here's some more information from this website (under addiction medication in the dark bar above) regarding this treatment....
Naltrexone can be effective in reducing cravings and helping patients avoid relapse. However, because patients must take oral naltrexone tablets every day in order to have enough medication in their bloodstream, it is easy to forget or skip doses and difficult to maintain the daily regimen on a consistent basis without close supervision.
For patients who have not been successful with oral naltrexone, a new technique has been developed using naltrexone implants that provide an adequate and constant level of naltrexone in the patient's body for long periods of time: six weeks, six months or twelve months depending on the type of implant. Using a local anaesthetic, a small one-inch incision is made in the lower abdomen or at the back of the upper arm, and a number of pellets are inserted just below the skin. These then release effective doses of naltrexone over a period of time. While the implant is in, if patients inject themselves with heroin, no effect is achieved. After the implant wears off, insertion of a single implant can be followed by a double implant or sequential double implants which provide the longest period of coverage. The implants do not need to be removed at the end of the treatment period and are gradually absorbed by the body. The periods of coverage provided by the implant allows the patient time to experience the process of addiction recovery.
Naltrexone tablets are licensed for the treatment of drug dependency. While the implants are not currently licensed, they are available through private doctors and clinics in the US , UK and Australia . Any doctor performing this procedure should be experienced in the field of addiction, the use of implants, and performing minor surgery. Different clinicians use different regimens. Some begin with a trial of the six-week implant while others use the six-month or the twelve-month implant at the outset. The Coleman Institute (thecolemaninstitute.com/default.asp), located in Orange County , CA and Richmond , VA , provides a range of cutting-edge addiction treatments, including naltrexone implants. After detoxification, they recommend at least two implants lasting 6-10 weeks each, with more pellets if needed. Following implants, they recommend a two to four month period of taking oral naltrexone in a supervised fashion.
Thanks for the very kind words. I am glad to be of help. It's the least I can do for the people on this board. I honestly wouldn't have made it through without all the help I received from here. My spirit was crushed and my heart broken into pieces when I sought help here...and got it!
Love,
Susan
Hey Bruce
Over here in the UK there is something that you can have implanted for heroin users, they call it a BLOCKER so if you take heroin the blocker makes you feel real ill or the blocker actually blocks the heroin some how you would not get any effect from the heroin.
Emily
Over here in the UK there is something that you can have implanted for heroin users, they call it a BLOCKER so if you take heroin the blocker makes you feel real ill or the blocker actually blocks the heroin some how you would not get any effect from the heroin.
Emily
Dear paisleydaisy,
I LOVE the name! Glad to see you're getting an identify for on here.
WOW! One month of recovery under your belt! I'm proud of you for doing this for yourself, girl!!!! I'll bet you're proud of yourself too! I'll keep praying for you to keep strong in your battle against temptation and wish you the best in your endeavor.
Oh my goodness! I'm sure I don't deserve all those kind words but thanks so much for saying them. It's very kind of you! A prayer my sister shared with me has helped me to see where people are in need of help. I'll share it with you in case you didn't see me post it on here earlier. He has no hands (feet, voice, etc.) but ours.
Lord Jesus, I give you my hands to do your work.
I give you my feet to go your way.
I give you my eyes, to see as you see.
I give you my tongue to speak your words.
I give you my mind that you may think in me.
I give you my spirit, that you may pray in me.
Above all, I give you my heart, that you may love in me your Father and all humankind.
I give you my whole self, that you may grow in me, so that it is you, Lord Jesus, who live and work and pray in me.
I hand over to your care, Lord, my soul and body, my prayers and my hopes, my health and my work, my life and my death, my parents and my family, my friends, my neighbours, my country and all people, Today and always. Amen.
It is a POWERFUL prayer!
Love,
Susan
I LOVE the name! Glad to see you're getting an identify for on here.
WOW! One month of recovery under your belt! I'm proud of you for doing this for yourself, girl!!!! I'll bet you're proud of yourself too! I'll keep praying for you to keep strong in your battle against temptation and wish you the best in your endeavor.
Oh my goodness! I'm sure I don't deserve all those kind words but thanks so much for saying them. It's very kind of you! A prayer my sister shared with me has helped me to see where people are in need of help. I'll share it with you in case you didn't see me post it on here earlier. He has no hands (feet, voice, etc.) but ours.
Lord Jesus, I give you my hands to do your work.
I give you my feet to go your way.
I give you my eyes, to see as you see.
I give you my tongue to speak your words.
I give you my mind that you may think in me.
I give you my spirit, that you may pray in me.
Above all, I give you my heart, that you may love in me your Father and all humankind.
I give you my whole self, that you may grow in me, so that it is you, Lord Jesus, who live and work and pray in me.
I hand over to your care, Lord, my soul and body, my prayers and my hopes, my health and my work, my life and my death, my parents and my family, my friends, my neighbours, my country and all people, Today and always. Amen.
It is a POWERFUL prayer!
Love,
Susan
