Sobriety Anxiety

Hi, These weekends are tough. I have my 12 year old nephew with me, so I'm not considering a relapse at this very moment. I know when my friend visits in Nov it will be very difficult to resist. We have never spent time together unless we were sharing a joint. I'll take any excuse. I talked with my husband last night. I told him I was "white knuckling" it but didn't feel anything like recovery. I am reading a couple of books about the soul, trying to find my spirituality. I know that's a path I need to go down, but I don't know where to start. I was raised in a strict fundamental religion that was so hypocritical I turned my back on it when I was 16. I've tried some other churches and practices (relaxation, meditation) but it's not calming me at the moment. How is everyone else doing? Hope you're hanging in there. Best Wishes
Excuse #1

I have an upper respiratory infection
Excuse #2

Say you need to get bloodwork done & dont want it to show up
EXCUSE #3 I HAVE TB YOU DON'T WANT IT DO YOU?

Hope you're hanging in there, Rachel.

Maybe by November you can just say "No thanks I don't smoke anymore".
Hi Rachael, Hang in there girl! I agree that one of the biggest challenges is when you are around friends who smoke. I had that challenge just 2 weeks into me giving up. I was at a friends house and she offered me a joint..........and I refused. I cannot tell you how hard it was to do that and I felt so sorry for myself afterwards!!

I have had a bad few days with really intense cravings. I have been thinking thoughts like "oh well I have done so well and I'll just treat myself to some for this coming Christmas". I know deep down though that I can't just have a little Christmas treat. I am an addict and must kick the stuff for good. This sucks big time but I am 10 weeks in now and would be crazy to go back again.

Best wishes, keep up the good work.

Ruby
O.K. where's Wonder Woman and Rachel?

Hope your girls are alright.

Ruby, that's amazing you passed up that joint......good for you.

Ohhhhhh, the thinking ahead........thinking way to Christmas....yep, that's how we do........we're going to treat ourselves.......all that.....they call that "Picking up before ya pick up".........but you know what ya have to do, Ruby.

Hang tough, Ruby.......hope you girls are all O.K.
Hi, Thanks for all the great excuse suggestions. I'm doing ok, the cravings are easing during the week anyway when I have work and other things distracting me. Thanks Bryn for the "picking up before you pick up" realization. That addict part of me is constantly trying to find it's way back on top. Ruby, you are doing great. To actually turn down a joint. That must have been tough. I am also wondering about Wonderwoman and JJ. How are you doing? Hang in there. You are all great support to me.
Hi, I'm having another tough weekend. I decided not to get any pot when my friend visits from the States (I'm in New Zealand). I'll talk to her, she knows I quit about a month ago. But she's seen me do that plenty of times. Last time I travelled to Niagra Falls with her she arranged the drugs and we were able to spend the time stoned, as usual.

When I told my husband about it he was noticeably disappointed. He admitted that he has been thinking about it daily and would like "just one puff." I know how that goes...It was nice to at least hear him admit it. Previously he was saying, "No I don't miss it, I feel so much better." I was wondering why I was having such a hard time while it seemed easy for him.

I had 2 dreams about smoking last night. Old friends that I used to smoke with were in them. I woke up feeling very frustrated. This is something I've been doing for 20 plus years. I don't know what makes me think quitting might be easier than this. I'm doing some reading. I attempted suicide a year ago and I just got 2 books about how to avoid it. I have chronic migraines. I'm ok as long as I don't have a h/a for days or weeks on end. Last year I had a migraine for 3 weeks straight and I felt like I just had to escape. One of the books talks about how suicidal thoughts can be an addiction. I'm doing ok at weight watchers, I've lost 11 kg now. I'm addicted to my 3 cats, that's one I don't need to break. Two of them sit in my lap in the eves and it's a great comfort to me.

Hope you are all hanging in there. It helps knowing you're out there.