My son was/is addicted to pain pills and heroin in 2014. We live in the Midwest and went through hell and back. He went to rehab in November and came back to live with us. Relapsed twice and we bought a one way ticket to Phoenix (reovery home) in January 2015. He was in a few different recovery homes out there and played the system. He had two jobs total while he was out there--he is an RN. He now has his own studio apt since June 1st. He has paid part of the rent with our help. He claims to us that he has not used drugs since March and that he occasionally drinks. I've been going to Nar-anon since November 2014. His Dad drove out to Phoenix two weeks ago to see how he is doing. My son tells us he wants to come back home and live with us and tells us he is clean. My husband said he doesn't look like he is doing drugs compared to how he was last year. I want to send in his hair for testing to make sure. He knows if he is going to live at home with us that he will be taken to a homeless shelter if he relapses. Am I crazy for letting him come back home? We do not want to support him anymore out there since he isn't working. He told us he will find work when he comes home. One of my questions is where can I bring his hair for drug testing? Do I need to send it away or will a local hospital facility test it? I want to know for sure that he is telling us the truth because I do realize that he has lied to us in the past when using. Also, if anyone has had any success with a recovering addict living back home, please let me know. I'm not naive and have heard hundreds of stories in Nar-Anon. I'm very skeptical, but also hopeful. Thanks.
I am new here and new to realizing my son has a big problem. I have nothing wise or knowledgeable to say. I pray for your son, his sobriety and your family having peace.
Hi,
What is the reason for him wanting to move back in with you guys? I do not think that it's a good idea.......I'm from AZ, my daughter was a drug addict(heroin), 4 years clean (knock on wood). She spent SEVEN months in rehab and 5 in a sober living home, totaling 12 months of treatment. I do not believe in 1 month, 2 months or even 3 months rehab programs.... it's a LONG journey. AND good rehabs will determine how long that person should be in, normally it's at least 6 months.....It just does not sound that he was in a good rehab, meaning -he may not have gotten good help.......(sorry)...
You should not come to the point of "testing" his hair sample...... HE should get/stay clean for himself, not for you, not your husband, etc......There are no addicts (none) that have gotten clean for someone. AND you cannot make them, they have to do it themselves for themselves, I'm sure you have heard it many, many times. One important thing is - he has to have absolutely clear understanding that you/your husband will not be part of the ANY enabling......
His actions (deeds) should speak about his recovery not just his words.....Have a steady job, paying your own rent, new real friends, etc.....
Good luck and stay tough.
What is the reason for him wanting to move back in with you guys? I do not think that it's a good idea.......I'm from AZ, my daughter was a drug addict(heroin), 4 years clean (knock on wood). She spent SEVEN months in rehab and 5 in a sober living home, totaling 12 months of treatment. I do not believe in 1 month, 2 months or even 3 months rehab programs.... it's a LONG journey. AND good rehabs will determine how long that person should be in, normally it's at least 6 months.....It just does not sound that he was in a good rehab, meaning -he may not have gotten good help.......(sorry)...
You should not come to the point of "testing" his hair sample...... HE should get/stay clean for himself, not for you, not your husband, etc......There are no addicts (none) that have gotten clean for someone. AND you cannot make them, they have to do it themselves for themselves, I'm sure you have heard it many, many times. One important thing is - he has to have absolutely clear understanding that you/your husband will not be part of the ANY enabling......
His actions (deeds) should speak about his recovery not just his words.....Have a steady job, paying your own rent, new real friends, etc.....
Good luck and stay tough.
Axor001. Hopefulone isn't trying to make him get clean. She questioning his honesty. He says he's clean, wants to come home to live with his parents. But even though hopefulone's husband went to visit him and said he looked better then last year she just wanted to make sure he's telling the truth before letting him reside back home . That's why she is inquiring about knowledge to where she can send a sample of his hair so it can be analyzed for drugs. I'm guessing that sample comes back negative then obviously he's telling the truth and then she can allow him to come home. And if the sample comes back positive then he was not being honest to her and in conclusive she will not allow him to come back to live there and ultimately enabling him among other things. Get it ? I feel she knows not to trust his word and before she can allow herself to put some trust into his sobriety then she wants to be utterly positive he is indeed drug free. Good luck to u both.
Axor001. Excuse me but I just read my reply and that sounds to me that someone would take that as seeming to come off as a little rude to you. I'm sorry Axor001. I apologize if I came out to aggressive . I honestly don't remember that moment on that day , was I having a good day or a bad one ?. Because it seems like I may have had an attitude. Hmmmm. Well, that doesn't matter. All that matters is it sounds to me as if I was not being polite to you and I shouldn't of been and for that I apologize to you. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. Thank you.
