As some of you know, my spouse came home from rehab on Tuesday. After four weeks, I was very very nervous. He was to begin an out patient program on Wednesday, but it got pushed back until tomorrow. He attended two AA meetings. This morning I caught him looking through my purse for the key to the lock box with his medications. All of those feelings hit me straight in the face again - no confidence in him, disrespect, lies, etc. He couldn't even tell me the truth. I forced him to find a meeting. He came home and said it was a great meeting and then apologized. I can't live like this and need advice. Isn't this a MAJOR problem to relapse so quickly? He didn't get access to pills, but what if... Also, I called his doctor and the doctor said, your spouse "can discuss it in the program tomorrow.
Hi Imagine.
I don't know if I can say anything to ease your mind........Just know that I will keep you in my prayers hoping you can find peace through this. I know that you were very worried about him coming home. I hope that some of those issues were resolved. I will tell you what I do....bear in mind mine is on sub....
I don't get involved, he makes his doctors appointments for the shrink and addiction counselor......he gets himself there, I don't remind him he has them...It is up to him to do this.....I support, love .....and tell him how proud I am of him everyday.......and I am alwasy a phone call away if needed. But I have to many other things going on to focus all my energy on him. I have stepped back....for my own sanity. Thats what I had to do for me.
All I want in this world is for him to be clean......I pray everyday that he will be strong enough to fight the demons...he has to want and do it on his own.......
Take care,
Tina
Oh as an afterthought does he take naltrexone (sp) it is an opiate blocker...I know some people on here use it. If not it can be an option.
I don't know if I can say anything to ease your mind........Just know that I will keep you in my prayers hoping you can find peace through this. I know that you were very worried about him coming home. I hope that some of those issues were resolved. I will tell you what I do....bear in mind mine is on sub....
I don't get involved, he makes his doctors appointments for the shrink and addiction counselor......he gets himself there, I don't remind him he has them...It is up to him to do this.....I support, love .....and tell him how proud I am of him everyday.......and I am alwasy a phone call away if needed. But I have to many other things going on to focus all my energy on him. I have stepped back....for my own sanity. Thats what I had to do for me.
All I want in this world is for him to be clean......I pray everyday that he will be strong enough to fight the demons...he has to want and do it on his own.......
Take care,
Tina
Oh as an afterthought does he take naltrexone (sp) it is an opiate blocker...I know some people on here use it. If not it can be an option.
Thank you for your advice. My husband became permanently disabled with multiple issues six years ago. He has chronic pain and will take medication for the rest of his life - but ultimately it is about control.
I will try and follow your path. I think its all I can do to save my own sanity. We are in a difficult situation because he cannot care for himself totally. But I am pushing the meetings and he is going on his own. I made him check the list and go again tonight.
Thank you for your prayers. I am hoping for some light.
I will try and follow your path. I think its all I can do to save my own sanity. We are in a difficult situation because he cannot care for himself totally. But I am pushing the meetings and he is going on his own. I made him check the list and go again tonight.
Thank you for your prayers. I am hoping for some light.
Imagine.....
He still is on some medications, for pain?
You are the one holding them?
He still is on some medications, for pain?
You are the one holding them?
Imagine,
Here is a thought for you. I would get yourself to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting. These groups are designed for YOU, the loved ones of an addict. We are very hard to deal with, especially early on in recovery. It is not your fault, at all, and you have every right to feel as you do. There is help for you out there. I promise. Calling his doctor will not always be the best, because your spouse is the one who should be telling on himself. If he doesn't, then he is heading straight to the border again. He is in the trial and error side of this as well. I do not know his story, but coming from my own side of it, it is the hardest thing he will ever go through, same for you.
Those meetings will give you invaluable tools to learn to cope. You have to have support as well, and believe me when I say, it is out there! They have so many things that will help you through this, you will not be sorry. I would even look into some group therapy, and couples counseling with an addictionologist as well. They can be a great help to the both of you.
I wish you well, and I wish it for him too. You are both in my prayers. God is also a great listener too.
God Bless
Lady M
Here is a thought for you. I would get yourself to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting. These groups are designed for YOU, the loved ones of an addict. We are very hard to deal with, especially early on in recovery. It is not your fault, at all, and you have every right to feel as you do. There is help for you out there. I promise. Calling his doctor will not always be the best, because your spouse is the one who should be telling on himself. If he doesn't, then he is heading straight to the border again. He is in the trial and error side of this as well. I do not know his story, but coming from my own side of it, it is the hardest thing he will ever go through, same for you.
Those meetings will give you invaluable tools to learn to cope. You have to have support as well, and believe me when I say, it is out there! They have so many things that will help you through this, you will not be sorry. I would even look into some group therapy, and couples counseling with an addictionologist as well. They can be a great help to the both of you.
I wish you well, and I wish it for him too. You are both in my prayers. God is also a great listener too.
God Bless
Lady M
Thank you both for your support.
I will look into meetings this week.
Yes, I do keep his medications. There doesn't seem to be an alternative with that issue.
And you are right, he needs to tell on himself.
I will look into meetings this week.
Yes, I do keep his medications. There doesn't seem to be an alternative with that issue.
And you are right, he needs to tell on himself.
Thats a tough thing to do....keeping hold of the meds. There are some meetings online too.....
http://groups.msn.com/Alanon/_whatsnew.msnw
You have to have a hotmail or msn e-mail......but the hotmail is free and it is easy to set up......
http://groups.msn.com/Alanon/_whatsnew.msnw
You have to have a hotmail or msn e-mail......but the hotmail is free and it is easy to set up......
your back lady m how great I have missed youe posts so happy to see you again dear welcome sweete love poopie
Misty- You sound like a great, sweet, loving and supporting wife. He is lucky.
Hey Danny,
I kicked the hubby off to jump in and talk to you. Thank you so much for your kind words. I wanted to tell you something.....there are a lot of women in this world that are nice, sweet, loving......filled with all the good stuff. I hope that you find a woman like that for yourself and your children one day. You deserve the best, never settle for what you have now....Life is to short for that, and I think you understand on that one....It really is time for you to do what you don't want to.....call the cops....do it as soon as she jumps in on you.....if you have an injury all the better....Don't worry about the kids seeing that, I think they might be seeing things much worse when she jumps in on you. Think about how they feel when they see her hitting thier father........it must just hurt them so bad. Get your evidence and get her the hell out of your house.....restraining order and all......It is time for you to save yourself and your kids......
Sending you out some love sweetie, cause as of right now you need it the most!
Tina
Oh and the dog....I will be looking on here tomorrow to hear it is gone........
I kicked the hubby off to jump in and talk to you. Thank you so much for your kind words. I wanted to tell you something.....there are a lot of women in this world that are nice, sweet, loving......filled with all the good stuff. I hope that you find a woman like that for yourself and your children one day. You deserve the best, never settle for what you have now....Life is to short for that, and I think you understand on that one....It really is time for you to do what you don't want to.....call the cops....do it as soon as she jumps in on you.....if you have an injury all the better....Don't worry about the kids seeing that, I think they might be seeing things much worse when she jumps in on you. Think about how they feel when they see her hitting thier father........it must just hurt them so bad. Get your evidence and get her the hell out of your house.....restraining order and all......It is time for you to save yourself and your kids......
Sending you out some love sweetie, cause as of right now you need it the most!
Tina
Oh and the dog....I will be looking on here tomorrow to hear it is gone........
Tina- She is gone. I just have to think it out. The dog, well she won't do it, so it's going to be up to me.
Poopie,
Hello sweet darling, and thank you. I have been away for far too long, and there are people out there that need help. I can alway lend out a word or two for them. It is what is important in the scheme of things. The holidays are hard enough, and I for one hope that everyone will make it through this one unscathed. Thanks for the welcome back!
Lady M
Hello sweet darling, and thank you. I have been away for far too long, and there are people out there that need help. I can alway lend out a word or two for them. It is what is important in the scheme of things. The holidays are hard enough, and I for one hope that everyone will make it through this one unscathed. Thanks for the welcome back!
Lady M
