Hi,Happy new year.Ive been heroin free for 13 months now,Taking meth,And as we all know how tough life is,Im now faced with differant dilemmas.A huge help in me getting of gear,Apart from the meth,Was the fact that after about a week or so of getting a script,I managed to completely cut myself of from my drug associates (well there not really friends are they,When it comes down to it) and kept myself locked away at my mums house.
The problem now though is that my life has been put on hold as i sorted myself out,At first i struggled so hard to keep myself away from other users,But i won in the end,Although now it doesnt feel as though i won anything as my life has completely come to a stop,I only ever leave the house to walk the dog or go to the chemist,I dont have any mates who are clean,I also have depression which makes things more difficult,Does anyone who has been in my position have a success story of how they got a full and busy life back after locking themselves away in order to get of gear?
You are cetainly at a crossroads--I have been theremultiple times, and because i did;t get started with "life" right away I ended up using out of sheer boredom and I had forgotten what to go with myself, since copping always takes up 200% of your day. Get some work--go to meetings (stay out of relationships) the clinic robably have meetings--why not go to those, youd be surprised at your interest in hearing others talk, and letting off your own steam--HOBBIES??read a book. Working and taking care of my son help me stay busy--go to school. Take it all slow though, its not gonna all fix itself in the next couple days. Its really awesome that your on this site and seeking others, and you are aware of yourself--youll figure it out--and remember craving supposedly only last 7 seconds :) keep coming here
I did it. I didn't lock myself away, I got myself a little flat - my h/b covered most of the rent, so that was OK. The place was a dump, but i made it nice, and it was safe, and I didn't tell any of my old using mates where I was living. And that was the best thing I ever did for myself. In that little flat I reinvented myself. You got to tackle the boredom, and you got to be brave. That's when the fun starts. There are a million and one things you could do with your time, and that's up to you. I looked into every possibility I could. I went to a writers circle, I tried adult education, I went for lots of walks, I put on my gladrags and hit the town, I even went to the local MIND group. But the biggest thing, the thing that you have to bear in mind, is that you have to do the running. You have to talk to people. Complete strangers. Everyone is a stranger at first, but that's how you make friends. I would sit on the beach, watching people pass by, and any handsome fellas, sitting down on the sea wall to take in the view, I'd just plonk my skinny arse next to them and talk.
Yes your life is on hold, so why don't you resuscitate it. It takes courage, but you can be whoever you want to be, so just make it happen. Nobody but you can do it. It's like, when i finally made the decision to give up gear, I'd realised that miracles don't happen on their own. nobody was gonna rescue me, so if I required saving, then I'd better get off my arse and do it myself. And that was such a beautiful revelation, that I had the power, I could do it, I could be my own saviour. And I applied that to other areas of my life.
Most people who post here regularly, they have known me from my darkest days of smack hell, they've seen me go through the whole process of getting clean, first the heroin, then my script. They seen me make mistakes, they seen me with bad relationship troubles. But in the past two and a half years since I gave up heroin, my life is now unrecognisable. I've got a nine month old daughter who's my world, a three bedroom house to live in, a nice car, holidays abroad, loads of clean friends, and although my relationship with my girls dad isn't perfect, I can rely on him for lots of things, and I'm not alone, although I sometimes still feel like it. I think that's just something us addicts in recovery have to live with, coz there will always be a huge part of me that I can't share with anybody.
Go out and make it happen!
love
Diff x
Yes your life is on hold, so why don't you resuscitate it. It takes courage, but you can be whoever you want to be, so just make it happen. Nobody but you can do it. It's like, when i finally made the decision to give up gear, I'd realised that miracles don't happen on their own. nobody was gonna rescue me, so if I required saving, then I'd better get off my arse and do it myself. And that was such a beautiful revelation, that I had the power, I could do it, I could be my own saviour. And I applied that to other areas of my life.
Most people who post here regularly, they have known me from my darkest days of smack hell, they've seen me go through the whole process of getting clean, first the heroin, then my script. They seen me make mistakes, they seen me with bad relationship troubles. But in the past two and a half years since I gave up heroin, my life is now unrecognisable. I've got a nine month old daughter who's my world, a three bedroom house to live in, a nice car, holidays abroad, loads of clean friends, and although my relationship with my girls dad isn't perfect, I can rely on him for lots of things, and I'm not alone, although I sometimes still feel like it. I think that's just something us addicts in recovery have to live with, coz there will always be a huge part of me that I can't share with anybody.
Go out and make it happen!
love
Diff x
Joniebee, How ya bee? LOL Congrats on your thirteen months. That is awesome. Ya did what ya had to do.
Gotta tell ya though, as you already know. Life has to go on. I did exactly what you are doing now. I got that thing where I got to I wouldn't leave the house. Victimized myself in another way instead of using.
Take it a little bit at a time. Hate to say it but you have to force yourself. Each day try and do a little bit more. Outside of the house. Take care of Joni as well as ya take care of your dear pet. Seems like you alrwady know ya have to get on the outside. I think the sooner the better.
Congrats again. 13 months is awesome, Joni.
Gotta tell ya though, as you already know. Life has to go on. I did exactly what you are doing now. I got that thing where I got to I wouldn't leave the house. Victimized myself in another way instead of using.
Take it a little bit at a time. Hate to say it but you have to force yourself. Each day try and do a little bit more. Outside of the house. Take care of Joni as well as ya take care of your dear pet. Seems like you alrwady know ya have to get on the outside. I think the sooner the better.
Congrats again. 13 months is awesome, Joni.
Thanks for your replys,Its nice to hear from people who have been where i am now and then come through the other side,And re-built their lives.I know,Youre right,I need to get myself out of the house,To do anything,I just feel like i dont know where to start with it all,There is also a slight fear of slipping back into my old ways,Say if i kept bumping into my old mates,Would i be strong enough?Again,Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Hi & welcome *
The responses you got all were excellent (& Ive known these people a long time now, believe me they know what they are talking about)-
Be careful however when you do begin to develop new friendships & hobbies - you could start believing that you don't need or your ready to get off the methadone. Now that you chose mdone to use as a tool to bring you to the next step - detoxing off all opiates, you really dont want to rush it.
Nor do you want to fall in a rut where you end up on the juice for as long as someone like myself. Only you will know when your ready to get off
Yes, your starting from scratch as you say> but lay a good foundation. Go for the counseling & resources that are offered.Be patient & try not to be discouraged when things dont all go according to plan. Stay positive.
HappyNewYear
The responses you got all were excellent (& Ive known these people a long time now, believe me they know what they are talking about)-
Be careful however when you do begin to develop new friendships & hobbies - you could start believing that you don't need or your ready to get off the methadone. Now that you chose mdone to use as a tool to bring you to the next step - detoxing off all opiates, you really dont want to rush it.
Nor do you want to fall in a rut where you end up on the juice for as long as someone like myself. Only you will know when your ready to get off
Yes, your starting from scratch as you say> but lay a good foundation. Go for the counseling & resources that are offered.Be patient & try not to be discouraged when things dont all go according to plan. Stay positive.
HappyNewYear
