Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."
THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS
Once we have the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Twelve Steps and Twelve Tradition, pg. 35
"The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God's will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears powerfully transformed into serenity."
I love this reading. For me this works, and I know it works for others...it's not about will-power for me, that never worked for me in trying to achieve and maintain sobriety. Having the willingness to let God run the show, not me, provides me with a peace and serenity that I've never in my life experienced before...and it's not just the willingness to go to any length to stay sober for me; it's also my willingness to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him for every situation that comes up...sometimes it's turning it over momemt by moment for me. What a relief...
I believe that willingness is God's grace. I need to always stay gently pressed up to that willingness. Once I had that willingness, my life began to change. Once I realized I didn't know everything about everything, my life began to change. I had been clean before for many years and when I ended up back in the Program I thought I knew everything about being clean and sober. I had to learn to set aside my beliefs about what I thought I new about life, about recovery and about the 12 steps in order to have a new experience.
Rachel
I guess "turning it over" to me, is listening to a..Higher Power I guess one would call mine..giving me clarity. I am so..so..bad at truly assesing a situation. I am either: Completely oblivious or....think I totally s*** and that no one would ever want to be around me. My Higher Power says to me..."Yes, you can do this" when my brain wants to paralyze with fear and doubt.
My Higher Power also opened up my ears. Turning it over means keeping them open. So many neat things I learn at AA.
One that really I love goes...
You weren't as good at being bad as you thought and you are not as bad at being good as you think.. (with all due thanks to Larry from Early Risers...)
My Higher Power also opened up my ears. Turning it over means keeping them open. So many neat things I learn at AA.
One that really I love goes...
You weren't as good at being bad as you thought and you are not as bad at being good as you think.. (with all due thanks to Larry from Early Risers...)
There are events and circumstances from when i was drinking that i should be dead because when i was in blackout, which was everytime i drank heavy. God most definately was guiding me through OK i done harm in blackout yes but that wasn't God that was me getting to my rock bottom. So my higher power has been with me all along only now I'm in recovery i want to argue with the bstardLOL(sorry god:)) Sometimes god must sit up there and shake his head and say to the angels and guides that walk with me "sh*t boys he's all yours i'm off for a coffee". Seriously once i fired my old god and found a new one the thought of my higher power always being there for me to help means I am not alone in my insanity anymore ok i can grab anything i hand over back. I have the choice in sobriety to do that now as alcohol doesn't run the ship and make the decisions in my life anymore for today.
Sorry for the ramble but i am forever gratefull to god and the journey we are on together his miracles are all about us today and the best one is i'm sober.
Light and love Zac
Sorry for the ramble but i am forever gratefull to god and the journey we are on together his miracles are all about us today and the best one is i'm sober.
Light and love Zac
OMG! That's all i have to say for now....you guys totally rock my world....i want what you have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For me, steps 2 and 3 were about taking a leap of faith.
My dad was killed in a plane crash when I was 11 and I felt very let down by the God of my understanding.He wasn't there for me but the booze and drugs always were.
Now in order to do this recovery thing right I had to be open-minded and willing to accept God and that by turning things over to him, I would find inner peace.
Thank goodnessI have a great sponsor who has a great sense of spirituality and a solid program. I did the things she suggested, tried not to roll my eyes at all of the "God"stuff to much...and did it anyway.
In a way I was a little like a robot there in early sobriety. Even if I didn't understand it ,like it, accept it, or believe it I did it anyway.Somehow I knew that I had to be willing to try another way..even if I was scared .
I was afraid that my God wouldn't be there b/c I had turned away from him for so long. But when I opened up my mind and heart...he was right there ,he had always been... I just didn't want him around.
Eventually, slowly over time it started to seep in and started to work.But I also realized that I had to work IT...that it was not going to happen just because I wanted to feel better. I had to actually conciously work on taking time and quieting my head and trying to become closer with my HP.
For me it took time...but the work paid off.
To be able to turn things over to my HP and remove the obsessive thinking (if only for a moment) is such a gift.
C
My dad was killed in a plane crash when I was 11 and I felt very let down by the God of my understanding.He wasn't there for me but the booze and drugs always were.
Now in order to do this recovery thing right I had to be open-minded and willing to accept God and that by turning things over to him, I would find inner peace.
Thank goodnessI have a great sponsor who has a great sense of spirituality and a solid program. I did the things she suggested, tried not to roll my eyes at all of the "God"stuff to much...and did it anyway.
In a way I was a little like a robot there in early sobriety. Even if I didn't understand it ,like it, accept it, or believe it I did it anyway.Somehow I knew that I had to be willing to try another way..even if I was scared .
I was afraid that my God wouldn't be there b/c I had turned away from him for so long. But when I opened up my mind and heart...he was right there ,he had always been... I just didn't want him around.
Eventually, slowly over time it started to seep in and started to work.But I also realized that I had to work IT...that it was not going to happen just because I wanted to feel better. I had to actually conciously work on taking time and quieting my head and trying to become closer with my HP.
For me it took time...but the work paid off.
To be able to turn things over to my HP and remove the obsessive thinking (if only for a moment) is such a gift.
C
Step 3 for me is the step that gets me ready. Its the decision step. MADE the decision. Time to fish or cut bait. This step only deals with making the decision. No details. Faith. It also is the step for me that starts to lead me to stop keeping things to myself. It prepares us for really finding and being embraced by our Higher Power. We go to our Higher Power.
have a great weekend!
have a great weekend!
my willingness is forming out of my despair. I am currently a million piece jigsaw puzzle thrown all over the floor - I cannot even begin to figure it out right now. In complete desparation I am asking for help because I just cannot do this on my own anymore. It is no longer about willingness for me, its about need. If I don't do this I will die or stay insane.
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