Hi. im a step parent of a 17 yr old who is sniffing chemicals. in my house at night in the basement. His father and i do not agree on turning him in to cops.Im at the end of my rope with this .I feel we should turn him in . But if i do this i know his father would be really mad at me and might even ask for divorce on this .I love this kid as my own. I love his father too. What would you do? His father has talk to him till he's blue in the face. we all try to help but when it comes right down to it he stops for a week but than starts agin. but his father won't turn him in .we have been to all kinds of programs that will help but we can't force him in to a place. the last place we went to was the oar program. our son sign a paper that he will let them put him in a home. but now he has chage his mind and won't go .so i called them and ask what to do.they told me to get a court order or call the police.but husband refuses to do so. should i do it anyway? And risk it? desperately in need of advice or somthing.
thanks lilret42
lilret42, I see you are in an akward position and I admire you're feelings for you're step son. But I want you to know I knew a guy that did the same thing. It got so bad that he would put a plastic bag around his face to keep the vapors in. Well it worked. When his Parents came home from vacation they found him that way. Dead with a bag and some crap he was sniffing. I dont think you want you're husband to have to live with that kind of memory because it tore this family up. If it was me I would have him committed to save his life besides that this activity can lead to severe brain damage. He might hate yall for it but if it saves his life it can be a long hate.
Best wishes
God Bless
Coolbeans
Best wishes
God Bless
Coolbeans
Hi lilret,
Wow.............that is rough. I don't know that turning him in to the police will help. What will the police do? Let me tell you a quick story. I work at a non public school for special education students. Most of our students are autistic, have learning disabilities from birth, or some other disability that they were born with. There are others who have been abused by their parents or someone in their family. One day as I was working, we were having a meeting on one of our students. After the meeting I asked my supervisor what caused this particular students disability. She explained to me that he became that way due to inhaling paint, glue and other household cleaners.
This boy will never be the same. He cannot learn like other "normal" children and he will never be able to live on his own or care for himself.
I was thinking that maybe you could take your son on a "scared straight" trip to a local Juvenile Hall, to the Morgue and also maybe you could find a place where you could show him other youth that don't have a chance at life due to their inhaling of household cleaners, paints and glue. Sometimes parents can say or do things for their children until they are blue in the face. It won't be until he is ready that he will quit or even want to. I know one thing. Go through your house and throw away anything he uses to get high with. Lock your cabinets and lock the basement door. Take all steps until there are none left for you to take. I know it is hard. Trust me. I too have a 17 year old that is lost. I took drastic measures to show him that if he wanted things such as his car or money that he would not be using that crap. I took everything away. Long, long story but it worked to an extent. He has not been using meth but continues to use pot. He just started working but attitude still stinks. I have to hold out though until I see that he is where he needs to be. I don't give him anything. Just my love. Anyway, do all that you can. Don't give up until you've exhausted all avenues. I'm still working on my son. I will never give up. Work with your husband. Work together or nothing will work. It's hard for a parent to use "tough love" on their kids. Be understanding but don't be stupid about things. I see that you care about this boy. Don't give up.
Wow.............that is rough. I don't know that turning him in to the police will help. What will the police do? Let me tell you a quick story. I work at a non public school for special education students. Most of our students are autistic, have learning disabilities from birth, or some other disability that they were born with. There are others who have been abused by their parents or someone in their family. One day as I was working, we were having a meeting on one of our students. After the meeting I asked my supervisor what caused this particular students disability. She explained to me that he became that way due to inhaling paint, glue and other household cleaners.
This boy will never be the same. He cannot learn like other "normal" children and he will never be able to live on his own or care for himself.
I was thinking that maybe you could take your son on a "scared straight" trip to a local Juvenile Hall, to the Morgue and also maybe you could find a place where you could show him other youth that don't have a chance at life due to their inhaling of household cleaners, paints and glue. Sometimes parents can say or do things for their children until they are blue in the face. It won't be until he is ready that he will quit or even want to. I know one thing. Go through your house and throw away anything he uses to get high with. Lock your cabinets and lock the basement door. Take all steps until there are none left for you to take. I know it is hard. Trust me. I too have a 17 year old that is lost. I took drastic measures to show him that if he wanted things such as his car or money that he would not be using that crap. I took everything away. Long, long story but it worked to an extent. He has not been using meth but continues to use pot. He just started working but attitude still stinks. I have to hold out though until I see that he is where he needs to be. I don't give him anything. Just my love. Anyway, do all that you can. Don't give up until you've exhausted all avenues. I'm still working on my son. I will never give up. Work with your husband. Work together or nothing will work. It's hard for a parent to use "tough love" on their kids. Be understanding but don't be stupid about things. I see that you care about this boy. Don't give up.
