Last night I went off on a screaming spree at my husband. All the man had said to me was a couple of comments about a book that we use to record some things in ,of how some of the pages were torn off and how untidy it made the book and if some things werent any good to throw it away.Well I just freaked out. I mean really freaked out at him. I yelled and cursed and tore up the book and started throwing other papers and books in the garbage. I yelled at him that whatever I do I'm never gonna please him. I said I am NOT DRUNK NOW so what will you blame this on . you cant blame this esposide on the booze. Then I went on ranting and raving about my 7 days of been sober and said it was only for other poeple not for me. that if I had my way I been drunk those last 7 days. and I just WANTED TO DRINK SO BAD then when I was mad.I cried and at that time I was sooooooo angry and hated everything about my life. God i must be going insane. I am definitely not this calm person I thought I would be without booze. All the anger I feel still surfaces the only difference is I can remember it now. Anyway he got mad at me and (who could blame him) and said he didnt do anything or say anything to cause such a reaction from me. God I just wanted to scream and i know that glass of wine would have taken away the ugly feeling I had at that moment.But guys you knw something? those pages were half torn because when i was drinking I used to make little notes to myself so I would remember something someone said to or something I had to do or something I said or did. I knew when I was drinking I would forget so I would write notes to myself.Anyway I wont ramble any more to make a long story short.He forgave me (AGAIN) . I feel like a terrible person .I got support and what do I do i yell and scream and get mad at the one who is with me all the way.
hey priat
its idgie -its 10pm in my world and I am sober on a friday night!! I feel pretty good about that.
Pirate -from the sounds of things you have been drinking for a long time - you have been drugging and medicating your mind, body and soul for many years.
Now for a few days you stopped - you are going through some serious mental and emotional and physical withdrawals. Your reactios are not out of the ordinary.
this is not to excuse your behaviour but to understand it. How many years have you been drinking? Did you think you could just turn off the tap and like magic everything would be ok? All your problems would suddently be solved and you'd go back to being this nice person that is a picture of yourself you have kept in your imagination?
Well you probably DID think that. Hell I know I did. I was shocked when zappo my life didn't fix itself 5 mins after I quit drinking. In fact, its a major reason why I relapsed many times. thinking well if like sucks sober why not have it suck drunk.
this is a very very normal phase of getting sober for the first time.
I don't know a lot about your situation Pirate, but maybe you might want to think about a rehab ? Take you out of your environment for a few weeks, give your poor spouse a break and give yourself some private space in which to go through this difficult time. I have never been to rehab myself, but many on here have and they can tell you about their experiences. many people say ithelped them a lot.
Maybe your husband can call al-anon and find himself someone to talk to so he can get some understanding for himself. he's going to need to heal as well.
meanwhile just take it one minute at a time and if you start to freak out I recommend saying the serenity prayer. If nothing else it'll give you a time out.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a great sober day
Idgie.
its idgie -its 10pm in my world and I am sober on a friday night!! I feel pretty good about that.
Pirate -from the sounds of things you have been drinking for a long time - you have been drugging and medicating your mind, body and soul for many years.
Now for a few days you stopped - you are going through some serious mental and emotional and physical withdrawals. Your reactios are not out of the ordinary.
this is not to excuse your behaviour but to understand it. How many years have you been drinking? Did you think you could just turn off the tap and like magic everything would be ok? All your problems would suddently be solved and you'd go back to being this nice person that is a picture of yourself you have kept in your imagination?
Well you probably DID think that. Hell I know I did. I was shocked when zappo my life didn't fix itself 5 mins after I quit drinking. In fact, its a major reason why I relapsed many times. thinking well if like sucks sober why not have it suck drunk.
this is a very very normal phase of getting sober for the first time.
I don't know a lot about your situation Pirate, but maybe you might want to think about a rehab ? Take you out of your environment for a few weeks, give your poor spouse a break and give yourself some private space in which to go through this difficult time. I have never been to rehab myself, but many on here have and they can tell you about their experiences. many people say ithelped them a lot.
Maybe your husband can call al-anon and find himself someone to talk to so he can get some understanding for himself. he's going to need to heal as well.
meanwhile just take it one minute at a time and if you start to freak out I recommend saying the serenity prayer. If nothing else it'll give you a time out.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a great sober day
Idgie.
Pirate.
First, if you'll look back a couple days to your withdrawal post, there was mention there about nerves repairing and crying and laughing and so forth. Our emotions are raw and our disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's the only disease that will tell us we don't have one. It's an addiction and it doesn't get better: It'll only get worse if I indulge it. Why? Because It buries the blackness and hatred and contempt and resentment deep in my heart and my spriti was slowly becoming extinguished.
If I let it win, I become careless about anyone except drink--even at the expense of myself. And then it's game over.
If you're going to do this, you can't do it halfway. The first step, the ONE STEP that must be done 100%, is admitting powerlessness. If you are willing to allow a Higher Power--ANY Higher Power (you can use mine until yours shows up, if you like)--to take the reigns and clean house for YOU, then you're on target. If you're not, you'll end up back "out there." We've proven it for nearly 70 years.
It's your life. There is hope. And it's a simple program that costs you nothing except your alcoholism. I can't stop you from drinking or stinking thinking. I CAN tell you that my resentments in my 26 year marriage were accumulating fast and furious, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I had to admit that I was completely powerless of alcohol and that my bottom was coming up FAST. Blaming everyone and everything for my troubles was only the beginning of my angst.
A few 24 hours later, I'm a new person. Truly. Sort the forum by post originator and read my progress if you wish. It works if you're willing to take a few suggestions.
Good luck.
S
First, if you'll look back a couple days to your withdrawal post, there was mention there about nerves repairing and crying and laughing and so forth. Our emotions are raw and our disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's the only disease that will tell us we don't have one. It's an addiction and it doesn't get better: It'll only get worse if I indulge it. Why? Because It buries the blackness and hatred and contempt and resentment deep in my heart and my spriti was slowly becoming extinguished.
If I let it win, I become careless about anyone except drink--even at the expense of myself. And then it's game over.
If you're going to do this, you can't do it halfway. The first step, the ONE STEP that must be done 100%, is admitting powerlessness. If you are willing to allow a Higher Power--ANY Higher Power (you can use mine until yours shows up, if you like)--to take the reigns and clean house for YOU, then you're on target. If you're not, you'll end up back "out there." We've proven it for nearly 70 years.
It's your life. There is hope. And it's a simple program that costs you nothing except your alcoholism. I can't stop you from drinking or stinking thinking. I CAN tell you that my resentments in my 26 year marriage were accumulating fast and furious, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I had to admit that I was completely powerless of alcohol and that my bottom was coming up FAST. Blaming everyone and everything for my troubles was only the beginning of my angst.
A few 24 hours later, I'm a new person. Truly. Sort the forum by post originator and read my progress if you wish. It works if you're willing to take a few suggestions.
Good luck.
S
Hi Pirate,
Getting sober doesn't make everything wonderful, it makes things real. Real is hard sometimes. The good news is that Real is rewarding if we stay with it long enough.
It took me a few months to get used to being sober all the time. Be patient with your self....
one day at a time, Cookster
Getting sober doesn't make everything wonderful, it makes things real. Real is hard sometimes. The good news is that Real is rewarding if we stay with it long enough.
It took me a few months to get used to being sober all the time. Be patient with your self....
one day at a time, Cookster
Hey gidday Pirate eh
I added the eh bit for all you Canadians to show i can speak the lingo:)
At least now you can say sorry for your part and at least you are remembering all that is happening and not just waking up to a partner that is silent because of something you cant remember
We now have options which may seem hard but wow do i learn from them
light and love zac
I added the eh bit for all you Canadians to show i can speak the lingo:)
At least now you can say sorry for your part and at least you are remembering all that is happening and not just waking up to a partner that is silent because of something you cant remember
We now have options which may seem hard but wow do i learn from them
light and love zac
