Needed to whine! 12th day and I am trying everything t straighten ut my kinky back! Maybe cause I have been trying to do physical activity again? Anyone have a timeline? When does this little agonizing detail get better? After 7 10's, I don't expect an aspirin to help, lol! Thanks
Hey Brenda:
So sorry chickles! Ain't it a b****? I know it is. I tell you, it was a while for me before the withdrawals worked there way out. I lived in a hot bath for a LONG time. When it left, it was gone though...I think around Day 18 for me I began to feel like a human being physically...then the freakin cravings set in and I totally forgot about anything in my body.
It was crazy...how my mind got so obsessive! Freaked me out big time...because I had been so focused on the physical situation, I was totally NOT prepared for that! Trust me, your back is bad enough...but God, I hope you don't have to deal with the head stuff! That was hard! Thank God by then I had some resources ready for me to go to.
Hang in there sister. Soak...get some bubbles....and a heating pad...and lay on your back and draw your knees to your chest and rock a little, gently! That did help me some.
Hey, at least you are sleeping! Count your blessings!
Peace.
Sarah
So sorry chickles! Ain't it a b****? I know it is. I tell you, it was a while for me before the withdrawals worked there way out. I lived in a hot bath for a LONG time. When it left, it was gone though...I think around Day 18 for me I began to feel like a human being physically...then the freakin cravings set in and I totally forgot about anything in my body.
It was crazy...how my mind got so obsessive! Freaked me out big time...because I had been so focused on the physical situation, I was totally NOT prepared for that! Trust me, your back is bad enough...but God, I hope you don't have to deal with the head stuff! That was hard! Thank God by then I had some resources ready for me to go to.
Hang in there sister. Soak...get some bubbles....and a heating pad...and lay on your back and draw your knees to your chest and rock a little, gently! That did help me some.
Hey, at least you are sleeping! Count your blessings!
Peace.
Sarah
Hi,
Congratulations on 12 days. 12 days is huge.
I am so sorry you feel like poop. I don't think I can ever forget the misery of the first days of detox. Being kicked by a mule comes close.
You will feel better. I promose. You have put your body through the wringer with all the years of drugs. You are recovering from it. Give your body time to heal.
I quit CT so many times I have lost count. I didn't know feeling like poop lasted for days maybe weeks. I always took pills again because I coulden't stand the pain. I thought the pain never went away.
Listen to Sarah (notfeelingclever). She fought the fight and won the battle. She is telling you like it is. She is also telling you that it will pass. She is a walking breathing example of success.
Make friends with your heating pad, take vitamins and eat as good as you can. Excersise slowly, Just walk a little bit. (I walked to my mailbox then back in the house).
I am so proud of you and admire you so much. I know how hard it is. You are a very strong chick to do what you have done to get to 12 days. You can do anything now. You can get through these next days without batting an eye.
Catherine
Congratulations on 12 days. 12 days is huge.
I am so sorry you feel like poop. I don't think I can ever forget the misery of the first days of detox. Being kicked by a mule comes close.
You will feel better. I promose. You have put your body through the wringer with all the years of drugs. You are recovering from it. Give your body time to heal.
I quit CT so many times I have lost count. I didn't know feeling like poop lasted for days maybe weeks. I always took pills again because I coulden't stand the pain. I thought the pain never went away.
Listen to Sarah (notfeelingclever). She fought the fight and won the battle. She is telling you like it is. She is also telling you that it will pass. She is a walking breathing example of success.
Make friends with your heating pad, take vitamins and eat as good as you can. Excersise slowly, Just walk a little bit. (I walked to my mailbox then back in the house).
I am so proud of you and admire you so much. I know how hard it is. You are a very strong chick to do what you have done to get to 12 days. You can do anything now. You can get through these next days without batting an eye.
Catherine
thanks you guys! I dug my heating pad out the other day, but felt good, and got a little smarty pants about my situation, lol! i am gonna have it on shortly. a mule? yep, for sure! I know ct is the only way i can go (no doctor anyway) and it only reassures me that this can never happen again! I'm scared to ever get hurt, and they treat me with painkillers! wake up from an accident, back into this nightmare! At least i think the methadone is out of my system, that was 30 days ago. 12 days on the hydro
WOW
I forgot about the methadone. You had quite the combo. You are amazing to quit CT like you have done.
No asprin won't work. lol
You made me laugh. I was scared to drive. I didn't want to get into an accident because of the pain pills too. It's ok if I broke every bone in by body just don't give me those pain pills. I never want to detox again.
Catherine
I forgot about the methadone. You had quite the combo. You are amazing to quit CT like you have done.
No asprin won't work. lol
You made me laugh. I was scared to drive. I didn't want to get into an accident because of the pain pills too. It's ok if I broke every bone in by body just don't give me those pain pills. I never want to detox again.
Catherine
You are doing so great...its not fun..but hang on...just a few more days...you are almost there! We are all so in awe of you....
you are all getting me through this! I do have my sister I been whining to, and the boyfriend. but we don't live together or anything. It just consumes you! I don't know how you all remember the details, but it sure help me! I just got out of an extremly hot bath, and a heating pad on the sore spots. I make my own schedule, and scheduled a really light day tomorrow! The methadone was definitly the worst of it, and I should have stayed clean that first week. But, oh no...How long has it been since you detoxed sarah? Sweet dreams tonight, btw! Too early on the west coast still. only 5:45pm, I don't want t try yet!
I'm in California. Where are you? I'm on here during peak West Coast Time. lol
I wasn't looking forward to returning to work. I stayed home for a month. I discovered that being back on a schedule really helped me. Being busy a work kept me from feeling sorry for myself. lol
You are going to remember this time in great detail yourself. Ilol t's a good idea to write down your thoughts during this time. When I read what I had written my blood ran cold.
I wasn't looking forward to returning to work. I stayed home for a month. I discovered that being back on a schedule really helped me. Being busy a work kept me from feeling sorry for myself. lol
You are going to remember this time in great detail yourself. Ilol t's a good idea to write down your thoughts during this time. When I read what I had written my blood ran cold.
hey brenda!
i started my detox on june 11. i went out of town from june 1 to june 10...to the desert...big bend and marfa texas. anyway, i took 50 pills with me for the ten day trip, that was my taper. i didn't know anyone out there! so, i had to stick to the taper, and wean myself down. i popped my last two pills the day i drove home, and that was that.
my father had passed in late april...and i had to finish a quarter in school. i just couldn't do it while i had to attend school, not to mention catching up on so much missed time.
i had the summer basically off. i raised money for a festival that funds our zoo, but it was very loosely structured...so i had some time to veg. which i can honestly say, i needed.
i was a wreck for the first 18 days. then, as i said, the physical body got well, but the mind went to hell! i think i told you, somewhere around day 45, i just had pushed as much as i could, and was so scared i would use, so i went to my doctor, with my therapists advice and started taking wellbutrin. it worked for me immediately...with the cravings, and i felt like i had been walking knee deep in mud, and that lifted with the wellbutrin as well.
i have cut the initial dose in half, and really feel i will be able to stop taking it all together in the coming months. it helped...and it was interesting to me that i had no problem cramming loads of hydrocodone in my mouth daily, but one little anti-depressant....and OH NO...not these lilly white virigin lips. ha! ego!
anyway, i took the advice of professionals, and gave it a try, and have felt MUCH better ever since.
i got many, many signs though, that i was on the right track from the start.
june 13th was my father's birthday....the day before father's day as well. one of the reasons i got clean...i think i told you, was that i wanted to be the kind of daughter he would be proud of...well, i was so low, i wasn't sure he was proud of me, and couldn't remember the last time he had said it.
on june 13th i went through all the cards i had that i needed to send thank you notes to. i found this old valentine's day card from my dad...it was a tri-fold and it had been unsigned. my dad had alzheimer's...and it was bittersweet that he had not signed it. anyway, it was going to be the thing i made the list of to do's on...so i unfolded it, and one the back, in a place you would never see if you didn't unfold that card totally....was a little handwritten note by him...it said: to my sweet daughter sarah...i hope you know how proud your papa is of you...you mean the world to me. i love you, daddy.
it leveled me...it was a miracle, it was him reaching through the veil to keep me strong. it wasn't easy, but honestly, i never looked back after that. i just found a way, whatever way, to keep moving forward.
hang in there!
sarah
i started my detox on june 11. i went out of town from june 1 to june 10...to the desert...big bend and marfa texas. anyway, i took 50 pills with me for the ten day trip, that was my taper. i didn't know anyone out there! so, i had to stick to the taper, and wean myself down. i popped my last two pills the day i drove home, and that was that.
my father had passed in late april...and i had to finish a quarter in school. i just couldn't do it while i had to attend school, not to mention catching up on so much missed time.
i had the summer basically off. i raised money for a festival that funds our zoo, but it was very loosely structured...so i had some time to veg. which i can honestly say, i needed.
i was a wreck for the first 18 days. then, as i said, the physical body got well, but the mind went to hell! i think i told you, somewhere around day 45, i just had pushed as much as i could, and was so scared i would use, so i went to my doctor, with my therapists advice and started taking wellbutrin. it worked for me immediately...with the cravings, and i felt like i had been walking knee deep in mud, and that lifted with the wellbutrin as well.
i have cut the initial dose in half, and really feel i will be able to stop taking it all together in the coming months. it helped...and it was interesting to me that i had no problem cramming loads of hydrocodone in my mouth daily, but one little anti-depressant....and OH NO...not these lilly white virigin lips. ha! ego!
anyway, i took the advice of professionals, and gave it a try, and have felt MUCH better ever since.
i got many, many signs though, that i was on the right track from the start.
june 13th was my father's birthday....the day before father's day as well. one of the reasons i got clean...i think i told you, was that i wanted to be the kind of daughter he would be proud of...well, i was so low, i wasn't sure he was proud of me, and couldn't remember the last time he had said it.
on june 13th i went through all the cards i had that i needed to send thank you notes to. i found this old valentine's day card from my dad...it was a tri-fold and it had been unsigned. my dad had alzheimer's...and it was bittersweet that he had not signed it. anyway, it was going to be the thing i made the list of to do's on...so i unfolded it, and one the back, in a place you would never see if you didn't unfold that card totally....was a little handwritten note by him...it said: to my sweet daughter sarah...i hope you know how proud your papa is of you...you mean the world to me. i love you, daddy.
it leveled me...it was a miracle, it was him reaching through the veil to keep me strong. it wasn't easy, but honestly, i never looked back after that. i just found a way, whatever way, to keep moving forward.
hang in there!
sarah
Thanks Sarah, and it's coming up a year now, that my dad died of that same dreadful disease! I wasn't sad, as he was not himself, and it was cruel that they kept him alive the last 2 months.I did start taking an old prescription of zoloft when I stopped, I believe it helps stay somewhat sane. Great advise, and yea, I am sure I wont forget a lot of the details, huh! I didn't get to dream with him, like he is in a totally different place or something. I kinda worried about that, just never connecting, or looking into his eyes. Like we lost him 2 years before.
Brenda:
My dad did really well. He fought like crazy against that disease. He stopped driving in June 05 and died in April 06...so he wasn't totally outside his normal routine for too long.
He did as well as he could for as long as he could...and I swear to you...he let himself die to make it easier on us. I know he did. He was a very strong man, his body was in great shape for a 78 year old. He was never sick til the first week of April, and that was that...
He had an amazing deathing experience. He laughed in his deathbed, he sang in h is deathbed...and two days before he died, he woke up, fully alert, fully himself pre-alzheimers and we had two days with our father. It was amazing. The whole time, he was full of light and joy, and he made it so much better for us. Of course, that is all he did all of his life. I love him very, very much.
I hate that disease...and so did he. He told my husband once it was like pulling a rubber glove over his mind very tightly. He knew it was there, choking his mind.
I have dreamed him once...and he sang to me then too! I miss him every single day, but I do feel like he is right beside me....actually, I know he is, I saw him in September...right there, smiling...blue jeans and white tee shirt! Simple man, huge heart, great, loving inquisitive mind.
I fear I could go on for days! Ha!
You are gonna do this Brenda! It is a process, you know? Just don't pick up EVER, and you won't use. It it gets tough, post it. We are here! Every single one of us have had our doubts that we would make it out...yet, here we are. Like Catherine said...take it easy, and PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK.
What you have done is HUGE!!!!!!!!! Nothing short of a miracle and I am so proud of you! I am also delighted to have someone to share my journey with too! We keep each other going here...it is a two way street for sure!
My dad did really well. He fought like crazy against that disease. He stopped driving in June 05 and died in April 06...so he wasn't totally outside his normal routine for too long.
He did as well as he could for as long as he could...and I swear to you...he let himself die to make it easier on us. I know he did. He was a very strong man, his body was in great shape for a 78 year old. He was never sick til the first week of April, and that was that...
He had an amazing deathing experience. He laughed in his deathbed, he sang in h is deathbed...and two days before he died, he woke up, fully alert, fully himself pre-alzheimers and we had two days with our father. It was amazing. The whole time, he was full of light and joy, and he made it so much better for us. Of course, that is all he did all of his life. I love him very, very much.
I hate that disease...and so did he. He told my husband once it was like pulling a rubber glove over his mind very tightly. He knew it was there, choking his mind.
I have dreamed him once...and he sang to me then too! I miss him every single day, but I do feel like he is right beside me....actually, I know he is, I saw him in September...right there, smiling...blue jeans and white tee shirt! Simple man, huge heart, great, loving inquisitive mind.
I fear I could go on for days! Ha!
You are gonna do this Brenda! It is a process, you know? Just don't pick up EVER, and you won't use. It it gets tough, post it. We are here! Every single one of us have had our doubts that we would make it out...yet, here we are. Like Catherine said...take it easy, and PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK.
What you have done is HUGE!!!!!!!!! Nothing short of a miracle and I am so proud of you! I am also delighted to have someone to share my journey with too! We keep each other going here...it is a two way street for sure!
and i am still.....so happy to be this far, with you all! I have allready passed any other time frame! I would rather hurt with a clear mind. I know my natural healers are coming around. Ya know, don't the pills make your breathing slower, or smething? I have taken them all that time with lung problems
