I am here because I have nowhere to turn for advice or support. I have been with my partner 1 year. I have two children from a previous relationship and he does not have children. When I met him he was taking suboxone for opiate addiction. We have since battled relapse into anything from methadone to OxyContin. Many days and nights of emotional rollercoasters. I finally opened up to his parents and sister in law because I could no longer keep it to myself. Since then he has fought his hardest to get clean. We are creeping up on 3 weeks clean. I have not seen signs of relapse into opiates. But now the problem is the withdrawn emotional state he is in. He is very irritable and not as loving as he was. I am having a very hard time and feel very alone. It sends me into a depressed insecure mood and that is not how I normally am. The past few days I have noticed a huge mood shift in my boyfriend. Normally he is very loving although can quickly get angered by small things. He seems stuck in his head or agitated by anything I do. Emotionally is is hurting me but deep down I know it is due to him not knowing how to cope with stressors of daily life since he has been an addict for 10 years. He lets himself get so stressed over minor things to the point he threatens to leave. This I know isnt who he is but Im having such a difficult time not letting it get the best of me and I want to know the best way to handle these situations. I would really appreciate any advice from someone else going through this as this is still all very new to me. I want to be the best partner I can for him while being a good mom and good to myself.
darn - I just typed a bunch and then hit a key and lost it all....
short version: it is not easy. I was very emotional the first month my son was in recovery. it is a lot of work, but for a good path instead of bad.
my son needed to stay very active with recovery center, meetings every day, dr appmts. he needed a few meds to sleep and for back pain. this time the correct ones were prescribed. (not Xanax and klonopin, no tranquilizers)
he has done well going to meetings and finding a new group of people to socialize with. he hates sitting around the house - 'goes insane'
your bf needs daily interaction with groups, meetings, recovery center. you also need to find a support group that is familiar with recovery - look into the recovery centers or hospitals to find support groups. maybe counseling to gether.
he may need an outlet to get away to when stress it too much - such as goes to a relatives house.
try SmartRecovery.org - keep reading!
short version: it is not easy. I was very emotional the first month my son was in recovery. it is a lot of work, but for a good path instead of bad.
my son needed to stay very active with recovery center, meetings every day, dr appmts. he needed a few meds to sleep and for back pain. this time the correct ones were prescribed. (not Xanax and klonopin, no tranquilizers)
he has done well going to meetings and finding a new group of people to socialize with. he hates sitting around the house - 'goes insane'
your bf needs daily interaction with groups, meetings, recovery center. you also need to find a support group that is familiar with recovery - look into the recovery centers or hospitals to find support groups. maybe counseling to gether.
he may need an outlet to get away to when stress it too much - such as goes to a relatives house.
try SmartRecovery.org - keep reading!
Just to chime in and back up what NY already said. Try to take time for yourself, going to some Al-Anon meetings, maybe a walk or some other hobby. It will take time and the best thing can you do is try to keep your mind busy with positive things.
I really wish the best for both of you! Keep posting here, and letting us know how things are going. It will change from day-to-day. Try to keep your expectations low.
I really wish the best for both of you! Keep posting here, and letting us know how things are going. It will change from day-to-day. Try to keep your expectations low.
Thank you both very much for your insight. Trying to stay positive and strong through this with him. Yesterday was a good day mentally for him but hes still pretty reserved affectionately. This may just be who he is while sober and Im not used to it. Its so weird. Almost like having to rekindle a whole new relationship.He's also doing a great job at work and keeping out of contact with the people he would use to buy from.
