I haven't used any drugs since Halloween and I feel good about that but I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with money problems and my kids problems and my abusive ex reaching out to me...I'm so tired and want to run away from it all. LOL that's code for want to stick a needle in my arm. At least I've gotten to the point where I can be honest with myself. I just want to fade away and not have to think or worry about any of them. Gosh, that is a selfish thought and a lie. I know its a lie. I know it only creates more problems...I got drunk last week. Stupid and dangerous, I know, not something I want to repeat.
Well on the brighter side I quit smoking yesterday and even though Im thinking about getting high I know I wont. I will get through this. I just wanted to whine to you guys a little bit. Thanx for being here.
That's great to hear you're trying but it is a very difficult if not impossible thing to do without some support. I'm happy to listen to you vent and I know that writing things down seems to help. Keep posting and hope things are well. One day at a time. Good Luck
Hi!
Thanx for replying. I'm still ok. I do have some support I go to therapy and a weekly women's group. Its not AA/NA Its for women with PTSD. I'm not ready for anything else. Maybe someday, I know the program works. I'm just dealing with some phobias right now. I like coming on here though. Its been awhile cause I was kind of a mess this past year but things are looking up...well no that's not true. Things suck but I'm learning how to handle them better. :)
I still haven't smoked. Its been 4 days. I'm pretty excited about that. Well you have a nice day.
Jessi
Thanx for replying. I'm still ok. I do have some support I go to therapy and a weekly women's group. Its not AA/NA Its for women with PTSD. I'm not ready for anything else. Maybe someday, I know the program works. I'm just dealing with some phobias right now. I like coming on here though. Its been awhile cause I was kind of a mess this past year but things are looking up...well no that's not true. Things suck but I'm learning how to handle them better. :)
I still haven't smoked. Its been 4 days. I'm pretty excited about that. Well you have a nice day.
Jessi
Hey Jessi !!!
It is SO good to hear from you! I was thinking about you last week and hoping you were still OK.
It sounds like you are hanging on even tho you've has a couple missteps. But not to worry, it happens. As long as you have the tools to work with and you are at least aware of what's going on you will do OK. We all make mistakes. So you've blown it a few times. Big deal. You aren't out there 100% and that matters. With all you are going through its not surprising. From knowing where you came from and how you fought everything to get where you are now? WOW! What an accomplishment!!
I'm happy that your kids are doing well.I'm sure they are happy you are in their lives.
My GKids are doing good too. My GDaughter is going on a school trip to Peru this week, Thursday. She will be gone 9 days. This is her first big trip ever without us. The group consists of kids from her high school plus kids from New Mexico and Florida. The only bummer is that she is fighting a head cold, stuffy nose etc which will only be made worse with the altitude. We still have 2 days to kick its butt! She has been planning this for over a year. She just got her braces off after 2 years as well. Its nice to finally see her real smile.
My GSon is doing well too. Ready for summer vacation to come.
Take care sweetie and don't be a stranger. Keep up the meetings, groups and talking about whats going on with you. You are NOT alone!
granny
It is SO good to hear from you! I was thinking about you last week and hoping you were still OK.
It sounds like you are hanging on even tho you've has a couple missteps. But not to worry, it happens. As long as you have the tools to work with and you are at least aware of what's going on you will do OK. We all make mistakes. So you've blown it a few times. Big deal. You aren't out there 100% and that matters. With all you are going through its not surprising. From knowing where you came from and how you fought everything to get where you are now? WOW! What an accomplishment!!
I'm happy that your kids are doing well.I'm sure they are happy you are in their lives.
My GKids are doing good too. My GDaughter is going on a school trip to Peru this week, Thursday. She will be gone 9 days. This is her first big trip ever without us. The group consists of kids from her high school plus kids from New Mexico and Florida. The only bummer is that she is fighting a head cold, stuffy nose etc which will only be made worse with the altitude. We still have 2 days to kick its butt! She has been planning this for over a year. She just got her braces off after 2 years as well. Its nice to finally see her real smile.
My GSon is doing well too. Ready for summer vacation to come.
Take care sweetie and don't be a stranger. Keep up the meetings, groups and talking about whats going on with you. You are NOT alone!
granny
Hi Granny!
I have missed you! It is so good to hear that your gkids are doing well. My youngest is still a mess and back in jail again...which gives me a little peace but also makes me very sad for him. I really am doing ok. I am not too hard on myself. I have a lot of gratitude in my life AND I still haven't smoked a cig :) its been 8 days!
Physically I have been exhausted. I hate that. It scares me a little. Im just having a hard time finding the right meds for me. But its ok I have my family and I have my dogs. I love my dogs. They bring so much love joy and peace into my life. They are my little angels.
Have a good night Friend,
Jessi
I have missed you! It is so good to hear that your gkids are doing well. My youngest is still a mess and back in jail again...which gives me a little peace but also makes me very sad for him. I really am doing ok. I am not too hard on myself. I have a lot of gratitude in my life AND I still haven't smoked a cig :) its been 8 days!
Physically I have been exhausted. I hate that. It scares me a little. Im just having a hard time finding the right meds for me. But its ok I have my family and I have my dogs. I love my dogs. They bring so much love joy and peace into my life. They are my little angels.
Have a good night Friend,
Jessi
hi Jessi,
I am sorry about your son, he'll learn one of these days, all you can do is wait and cross your fingers. As you know everything is their hands, either they will get it or they wont.
I am glad you have your dogs to keep you company too.
take care and like I said don't stay away for so long.
love ya,
granny
I am sorry about your son, he'll learn one of these days, all you can do is wait and cross your fingers. As you know everything is their hands, either they will get it or they wont.
I am glad you have your dogs to keep you company too.
take care and like I said don't stay away for so long.
love ya,
granny
Hey guys, brand new to hear and I stumbled across this while looking for some answers on the internet. I am a recovering addict of heroin i am 6 months clean from heroin. I had to drop out of last semester to get myself right and i started up school again in January. Did I go back to school too soon? I used to be able to get by in my classes not an A student but no D's this semester ill be lucky to pass 2 out of 4 of my classes. I missed a few assignments in my other classes and its like i don't have the courage to get myself back into class and catch up. I cant tell if its that im afraid of the confrontation and going to class or just that i really know what i want now and macroeconomics and a business major isn't it. Im confused to be honest haha, when i dont go t those classes I feel like s*** and feel bad bc my parents will be upset, but they dont neccasarily understand how hard it is to go to something tht makes me miserable and i dont even understand. I dont think im depressed even though i feel it when i am not in my class,bc whenever im doing anything not related to school i have a blast. i ve got my social life back together very well but not so much my academic life. is it bc i am in the wrong major? did i come back to school too early? as bad as failing three out of four of my college classes sounds and as upset and mad as my parents will be, I am still clean and to a certain point thats all that matters to me. any insight would help i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff, my parents dont understand it bc they havent been through it and all my friends that were into H ive completely cut off
-Dylanb
-Dylanb
