We had a fairytail start. It was a whirlwind relationship. We were married and with a baby within 2 years of meeting.
His past was never hidden. He was very upfront with me. I always expected a relapse (or at least assumed it could happen) Now we are here.
His use came to a crippling crest just recently. He knows he needs change and he is seeking it, thank God. He turned to his parents (who we live with) He broke down and told them everything. Everything he has done AND my secrets too (I dabbled with him from time to time) He goes to meeting with his Mom. He spends all of his time with her. I am feeling very left out and I know I shouldnt because this is only going to help our future. My relationship with my parents is very different and very laze fair so this is completely new for me.
Ive begged him to move, but after this, we arent going anywhere....
I am hurt and upset. Partly because he shared our secrets with his parents who I have to face every day and partly because I am not allowed to have my family, I have to coexist next to him and his family (his mom and dad). He has completely detached from our marriage and given himself to his mother. I want him to get better, but I also need a man. We are in our late 30's. Is it inappropriate for his mother to be going to meetings with him? Am I wrong for being upset?
Hi, No your not wrong for feeling the way you do. Your husband sounds like he is still tied to his mothers apron strings or else she is an overbearing mother in law! Why does she go to the meetings? Does she have an addiction problem or goes just to get him to go? Don't you be dabbling in anything anymore too!! Seems to me by what I read on here there can be a thin line between experimenting an odd time and becoming addicted. Good luck to you. I hope your husband gets better, he is trying and it's a good thing he's doing going to the meetings. M.
Often when the addict seeks to get help they become very involved with their meetings. What has periodically worked for me was Al-Anon. It got the focus on myself and gave me a group to connect to that could also understand. They became like family. Great support.
