I am an 18 year old college student that still lives at home with my family. My father has been addicted to many things since the time that he became a part of my life marijuana, oxycotton, alcohol, cigarrettes, herione, thankfully he is off of the harder stuff but he is a still a heavy pot-smoker and alcohol addict. My six year old sister is even beginning to worry about his health. I have tried to tell him that he needs to quit his habits, but he brushes me off because I am younger than he is and do not pay bills. This has been an ongoing problem for the last three years and no matter how much my mother or I talk to him either completely ignores us or makes an excuse such as "I'll smoke more marijuana so that I can quit drinking," "I will only drink beer with lower alcohol content," "I need it because my job is so stressful," "I will cut down." I have heard them all, but he hasn't changed. I realize that any attempt to quit is going to because he has to realize that he is an addict, but how can I get him to see the effects that his habits have on our family? Being analytical and rational has failed on many attempts and generally the only feedback I get from him is name-calling and aggression. What can I do?
Thankyou all for your help.
hey, buddy. thanks for sharing here. i can tell you are brave, courageous and wanting very badly to do the right thing for your dad and your family. you also express yourself very well for a man your age.
you're young and one thing i think you should really think about is the fact that you are not responsible for your father. while he is your father, and you should aid and help him all you can, you are not responsible for the lifestyle that he has chosen. you have your life to live now and you can't live his life for him.
nagging him is only going to make things worse. it just doesn't work and he will use the nagging as an excuse to keep using.
if you haven't already, i recommend that you check out Al-Ateen meetings. i think you will find help there for yourself and your younger sister coming up. give it a try. if it doesn't work for you, all you've wasted is a little time. the meetings are free.
you're young and one thing i think you should really think about is the fact that you are not responsible for your father. while he is your father, and you should aid and help him all you can, you are not responsible for the lifestyle that he has chosen. you have your life to live now and you can't live his life for him.
nagging him is only going to make things worse. it just doesn't work and he will use the nagging as an excuse to keep using.
if you haven't already, i recommend that you check out Al-Ateen meetings. i think you will find help there for yourself and your younger sister coming up. give it a try. if it doesn't work for you, all you've wasted is a little time. the meetings are free.
Dear Concerned Son,
Bless your heart! I know I went through a lot with my dad just being an alcoholic let alone all those other dependencies! It's great that you want to help, but there's not a lot you can do for your dad. He has to come to want it for himself. The meetings are a wonderful idea for you. Also, my family decided to pick a certain day (possibly your dad's birthday) and ask his extended family members and close friends to pray for him on that day to be healed of his addictions. My father was healed through this prayerful act and his faith was renewed and made stronger than ever before. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. I care!
Love,
Susan
Bless your heart! I know I went through a lot with my dad just being an alcoholic let alone all those other dependencies! It's great that you want to help, but there's not a lot you can do for your dad. He has to come to want it for himself. The meetings are a wonderful idea for you. Also, my family decided to pick a certain day (possibly your dad's birthday) and ask his extended family members and close friends to pray for him on that day to be healed of his addictions. My father was healed through this prayerful act and his faith was renewed and made stronger than ever before. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. I care!
Love,
Susan
I think your case is the proverbial - life just is nt fair. I am so sorry. I did want to ask you what your mothers position is in all of this.
To add to Bob and Sunsans advice I think you should get your Mom to Al anon or to some councelling.
My most frequent advice here seems to be that you need help - and I know it is easier said than done, especially when its your Dad but it is so hard to go this alone. If you and your Mom get to meetings and councelling you will become more empowered and stronger to deal with your Dad.
Best of luck to you - and my heart really goes out to you.
To add to Bob and Sunsans advice I think you should get your Mom to Al anon or to some councelling.
My most frequent advice here seems to be that you need help - and I know it is easier said than done, especially when its your Dad but it is so hard to go this alone. If you and your Mom get to meetings and councelling you will become more empowered and stronger to deal with your Dad.
Best of luck to you - and my heart really goes out to you.
