I am a father of 1 and 1 on the way. I am married and currently unemployed full time. I work part time and almost a year ago now I started smoking synthetic marijuana. Ive been a pot smoker for years and never felt that I 'NEEDED" it. This synthetic crap has sunk its claws into me. Today is the 1st day of being sober. I need to beat this for my family, and for me. I have no one to talk to since problems with family members and friends coming to me for their problems has caused me to smoke in the first place. Anyone else finding the,selves stuck to this? I know there is a bit of me that has a very addictive personality but there is def more going on. I finally came to the conclusion I need to stop cold turkey. Pray for me.
hello, i am also a addict on the fake weed, i smoked it for months and heavy too... i am a father of 1 and a fiance to a amazing women, i feel your pain the NEED to have it...i smoked weed for years and your right i never felt like i needed! it i just felt like oh well ill do it again sooner or later...i have been sobar for a week and every day is a challenge its so easy to get is what makes it even harder, i mean you can just walk into a party center or gas station and get it all the time they never "run dry" thats the problem...my fiance and i have fought about it and i told her i would stop numerous amounts of time untill just recently i realized that i cant stop that i need it to go on without my day...its tough...i hope you get clean man sounds like you have a lot going for you i understand, completly...i will come on here every day and we can talk and support...i dont want to be this addicted waste i want to better myself for my faimly and for the well being of myself...the chemicals they use with that s*** is no joke, noone knows what it really is or what the side affects are to your body. all i know is that it is like playing russian rollet you really dont know what is going to happen you will be in my prayers i hope all goes well, god bless
Hi I usually post on the PP board but your post alarmed me & I wanted to make sure Im thinking about the same stuff.No not to use but to ask about.
Is the "stuff" your talking about the stuff that started to show up in smoke shops?It says not for human consumpton but people are smoking it and it has such names as Happy Hour,Shock,Wicked X..that sort of name.Is this what your talking about?
If so...I feel very bad for whoever gets onto this stuff.My son in law has been usen that so he will pass a drug test and in the 2 mths that hes been smoking that,,,,the difference in him is like nite and day and not for the better.Not sure what it is but I do know that without FDA regulations on it...ANYTHING could be in it......Alittle too scarey for me....
Be Safe
mollyjean
Is the "stuff" your talking about the stuff that started to show up in smoke shops?It says not for human consumpton but people are smoking it and it has such names as Happy Hour,Shock,Wicked X..that sort of name.Is this what your talking about?
If so...I feel very bad for whoever gets onto this stuff.My son in law has been usen that so he will pass a drug test and in the 2 mths that hes been smoking that,,,,the difference in him is like nite and day and not for the better.Not sure what it is but I do know that without FDA regulations on it...ANYTHING could be in it......Alittle too scarey for me....
Be Safe
mollyjean
Molly- Yes, that is exactly what I am talking about. Unfortunately each bag that you buy can be something completely different, because this stuff is made in "underground" labs and there is no consistency. There has been some cases from a batch I think it was in Utah, that resulted in kidney failure.
I am going on 2 weeks sober, and its getting easier, but still fight the urge. The one good thing that I found out today was that the head shop I used to buy it from has stoipped selling it because they were tired of getting harrassed by the local police.
I too am here for support, my friend, I hope you can continue your sobriety. You have the blessing of one thing I don't, your fiance knows about your addiction, although it may cause fighting now, she is your rock. My wife has no clue so I am fighting this battle. Please dont take that as saying I have it harder then you or anything like that, the ONLY thing I mean by it is that you need to take advantage of her support.
I am here if you need me.
I am going on 2 weeks sober, and its getting easier, but still fight the urge. The one good thing that I found out today was that the head shop I used to buy it from has stoipped selling it because they were tired of getting harrassed by the local police.
I too am here for support, my friend, I hope you can continue your sobriety. You have the blessing of one thing I don't, your fiance knows about your addiction, although it may cause fighting now, she is your rock. My wife has no clue so I am fighting this battle. Please dont take that as saying I have it harder then you or anything like that, the ONLY thing I mean by it is that you need to take advantage of her support.
I am here if you need me.
I've been smoking this stuff for a while now, same reason as so many others... I can't smoke weed due to my job so this stuff seemed like a great sub.
I've seen others get a little freaked out on it but it had never happened to me.
The other day I became disoriented, and I didn't know what day it was or where my husband was. I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something.
I feel very addicted to this stuff and very stupid for letting it happen..
I've seen others get a little freaked out on it but it had never happened to me.
The other day I became disoriented, and I didn't know what day it was or where my husband was. I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something.
I feel very addicted to this stuff and very stupid for letting it happen..
Why is this stuff on the market? What are they saying it's supposed to be used for if not for human consumption?
Stay out of the head shops..you don't need to go there just like an alcoholic doesn't need to go into a bar.
Walk into an NA meeting instead...
Stay out of the head shops..you don't need to go there just like an alcoholic doesn't need to go into a bar.
Walk into an NA meeting instead...
@k, how are you holding up my friend, I have been sober since but I have a friend who cannot kick. I am here for you if you need someone to lean on or just listen, hope all is well. God Bless
I am exhausted with this s***! My husband goes on and off this. It has become worse than we he smoked pot. He spends a ridiculous amount of money on it. He won't spend any time with me or the kids anymore. All he does us smoke. I won't let him do it at home near the kids, so he is constantly running off like a teenager. I work full time, run 4 kids, keep a clean home, cook, AND I look good! I'm about to toss his a** after almost 9 years together. I can't do it anymore!
I hate this stuff so much! My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. We live together and share my vehicle. He has had several on and off jobs since we havebeen together. I work full time. I even usually work overtime, and this is in a resturant. I have been payin all of the bills. He smokes this "spice" stuff ALL THE TIME! I swear it makes him retarded. His speech gets slurred and he has a hard rime putting complete thoughts into sentences. Then shortly after he's passed out sleeping. I really feel as though this stuff is ruining our relationship. I tell him he's an addict because after promising me over and over again he still won't stop. He got his dad into it now which is bad because they are driving 45 mins each way out of state to get this stuff every day. Plus, his best friend smokes this stuff too!! I thought hr would have learned his lesson getting kicked out of the navy for it a few years back. I don't know what to do. Please someone help me get through to him and save our relationship.
Ive been on this stuff for almost two years now and it's nearly ruined my life, extremely similar story to everyone else on this board. I'm a husband and father, and can't believe I made such a stupid mistake when I tried this stuff. I think I know one small step we can ALL take to hopefully prevent others from going down the same path we/I have...
STOP EQUATING THIS DRUG TO MARIJUANA!!!!!!
That's where I guarantee you all of your husbands were lied to and tricked into. Yes, it's ultimately their fault for picking it up, but the addictive properties of this stuff are Extreme when compared to real Marijuana. I've never tried any hard street drugs (crack, meth, etc) but I am positive this drug has more in common with the hard street drugs than Marijuana.
Back Story: I was a pot head during the summers in College, would absolutely love smoking with my buddies all summer long. But when the party was over and school started back up, we all just put it away and never even sweated it. No withdrawals, no addictive responses, just a general attitude of "that was fun and relaxing" then we went about our lives. Every once and a while during school we might go smoke a bowl during a weekend, but then that was it, we would stop with zero complications and go about our lives.
Fast forward to a few years ago; my buddies and I are successful, well paid, married with children, etc. going through the normal stressors of an adult life, when this new "stuff" came out. I had not smoked for almost ten years!!!!! But suddenly, while really stressed at work one day, I read an article about this stuff called "spice" and how it's just like really good Weed, but it was legal, you can buy it anywhere, including a retail store so I don't have to meet up with the lowly "drug dealer". It would get you high as a kite but is (was) untraceable through drug tests....
So basically I thought someone figured out how to make thc untraceable, I could spend $30 at a retail store, smoke a bowl on the upcoming weekend I had to myself, reminisce about the old college days, have a laugh or two then go on with my life.
Two years later I can't stop. Well, once about a year ago I got a bad batch, inhaled, then completely lost my mind; had no idea who I was, where I was.... I had all these pictures in my house of my wife and kids and I remember freakin out because I couldn't remember who they were... I passed out, puked, had a religious moment with God....
No one would ever go back once GOD himself said never to do it again, right?
Like 3 months later I was alone for about 2 weeks.... I went to go he 1 hit.... Now I can't stop. I WANT to stop desperately, but you might as well tell me to stop breathing oxygen while I'm at it.
Most recent symptoms: cannot eat or sleep without this substance; extreme irritability without being on substance, social anxiety at extremes when not on substance, basically "strung out" is a great way to describe what it feels like without it, along with extreme irritability. Food makes me absolutely nauseous without substance, cannot eat without it. My mind reels with shame and dilute when I try to sleep without it;
None of that ever happened to me on Marijuana. The scary thing is when I read articles written by former crack heads and meth heads, they sound a lot like my symptoms above when they were using.
This stuff is not Weed!!!! That misconception is why so many good, successul, smart people have fallen prey. I will pray for you all and your loved ones, good luck and hopefully this stuff goes away soon. I'm going to quit ASAP, I'm researching the 12 step program now... I never once in a million years thought I would be an "addict"....
This post is only referring to "spice,k2 and other generic, synthetic canniboids. NOT Bath Salts!!!! I have no idea about that stuff but I'm not touching it with a ten foot pole.
STOP EQUATING THIS DRUG TO MARIJUANA!!!!!!
That's where I guarantee you all of your husbands were lied to and tricked into. Yes, it's ultimately their fault for picking it up, but the addictive properties of this stuff are Extreme when compared to real Marijuana. I've never tried any hard street drugs (crack, meth, etc) but I am positive this drug has more in common with the hard street drugs than Marijuana.
Back Story: I was a pot head during the summers in College, would absolutely love smoking with my buddies all summer long. But when the party was over and school started back up, we all just put it away and never even sweated it. No withdrawals, no addictive responses, just a general attitude of "that was fun and relaxing" then we went about our lives. Every once and a while during school we might go smoke a bowl during a weekend, but then that was it, we would stop with zero complications and go about our lives.
Fast forward to a few years ago; my buddies and I are successful, well paid, married with children, etc. going through the normal stressors of an adult life, when this new "stuff" came out. I had not smoked for almost ten years!!!!! But suddenly, while really stressed at work one day, I read an article about this stuff called "spice" and how it's just like really good Weed, but it was legal, you can buy it anywhere, including a retail store so I don't have to meet up with the lowly "drug dealer". It would get you high as a kite but is (was) untraceable through drug tests....
So basically I thought someone figured out how to make thc untraceable, I could spend $30 at a retail store, smoke a bowl on the upcoming weekend I had to myself, reminisce about the old college days, have a laugh or two then go on with my life.
Two years later I can't stop. Well, once about a year ago I got a bad batch, inhaled, then completely lost my mind; had no idea who I was, where I was.... I had all these pictures in my house of my wife and kids and I remember freakin out because I couldn't remember who they were... I passed out, puked, had a religious moment with God....
No one would ever go back once GOD himself said never to do it again, right?
Like 3 months later I was alone for about 2 weeks.... I went to go he 1 hit.... Now I can't stop. I WANT to stop desperately, but you might as well tell me to stop breathing oxygen while I'm at it.
Most recent symptoms: cannot eat or sleep without this substance; extreme irritability without being on substance, social anxiety at extremes when not on substance, basically "strung out" is a great way to describe what it feels like without it, along with extreme irritability. Food makes me absolutely nauseous without substance, cannot eat without it. My mind reels with shame and dilute when I try to sleep without it;
None of that ever happened to me on Marijuana. The scary thing is when I read articles written by former crack heads and meth heads, they sound a lot like my symptoms above when they were using.
This stuff is not Weed!!!! That misconception is why so many good, successul, smart people have fallen prey. I will pray for you all and your loved ones, good luck and hopefully this stuff goes away soon. I'm going to quit ASAP, I'm researching the 12 step program now... I never once in a million years thought I would be an "addict"....
This post is only referring to "spice,k2 and other generic, synthetic canniboids. NOT Bath Salts!!!! I have no idea about that stuff but I'm not touching it with a ten foot pole.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and I can not get him to see that he is addicted to this stuff. He first started smoking it around the time we started dating. I didn't think it was a big deal it was a here and there thing. It has gotten so bad that he is buying this stuff daily and sometimes more the once a day. We both work full time but he blows his whole paycheck on Hatter or jazz which ever one he likes better this week, and then takes my card and buys more. He doesn't even care if I have the money or not he overdrafts my account. We have spent over $600 in overdraft fees alone in less than a month. I am in so much financial trouble because of this stuff. He constantly finds excuses to blame me for our financial troubles. He isnt seeing that this is a huge problem. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. He says all the time he is going to quit and he knows its a problem but he is right back to smoking within a day or two.
I've been addicted for 2+ years as well. Same story, smoked pot for years and tried to get clean for a drug test. I've never been addicted to another substance before. I've just recently started looking into recovery or treatment options which brought me here. One thing I've noticed is that it doesn't matter what kind you smoke, the general symptoms are exactly the same for just about everyone.
"Most recent symptoms: cannot eat or sleep without this substance; extreme irritability without being on substance, social anxiety at extremes when not on substance, basically "strung out" is a great way to describe what it feels like without it, along with extreme irritability. Food makes me absolutely nauseous without substance, cannot eat without it. My mind reels with shame and dilute when I try to sleep without it"
I smoke every 2-3 hours (2-3 hits from a one hitter) - the "need" even wakes me from a dead sleep. Last year I used to start and stop all the time but stayed pretty consistent because I didn't see a problem. It turned into a problem before I knew it and now I can't stop. I'm embarrassed to go see a doctor but I know when the time comes to stop, I'll need to.
Any help?
"Most recent symptoms: cannot eat or sleep without this substance; extreme irritability without being on substance, social anxiety at extremes when not on substance, basically "strung out" is a great way to describe what it feels like without it, along with extreme irritability. Food makes me absolutely nauseous without substance, cannot eat without it. My mind reels with shame and dilute when I try to sleep without it"
I smoke every 2-3 hours (2-3 hits from a one hitter) - the "need" even wakes me from a dead sleep. Last year I used to start and stop all the time but stayed pretty consistent because I didn't see a problem. It turned into a problem before I knew it and now I can't stop. I'm embarrassed to go see a doctor but I know when the time comes to stop, I'll need to.
Any help?
Oh, and I'd like to mention that experiencing a "marijuana" high is damn near impossible on synthetic. The synthetic high trumps it, unfortunately. I'd like to imagine a 2-3 withdrawal with plenty of maryjane help but I'm nervous. I just want to go back to the real thing!
Hey everyone I'm back and I'm winning!!!!
I'm absolutely confident that Ive almost beat this thing, without medical help or inpatiet treatment. I've relapsed once or twice since my last post and I now realize that's because I never FULLY committed until this last time. I wanted to quit, but FEAR is what made me keep coming back. My last relapses happened because I never got rid of All my paraphernalia, I would always hold onto my pipe or the empty baggies for the "shake", for that "just in case" emergency hit.... You know, only to fight off withdrawal symptoms... Not to get high or anything...
Don't lie to yourself, this stuff is like the beating heart in an Edgar Allen Poe story... It will call to you in the night from wherever it is hidden... You MUST destroy all traces of it, including pipes or whatever you smoke out of. DOnt over think it, all it takes is a moment of bravery... Throw it all out at once, pray and remember: every minute of pain you endure during withdrawals you will NEVER have to experience again. Every minute you don't use is a great accomplishment. But if you relapse, those days of pain you experienced will have to be relived again and again...
Schedule to have your withdrawals during the weekend, NOT the work week. I relapsed once because I physically couldn't function at work without it ( or so I convinced myself). On the weekend if you have to puke out of both ends while shaking with cold sweats, at least your co-workers won't be there to wonder what is wrong with you.
It also gave me something productive to do: when I was using I would neglect EVERYTHinG in my life. I had no idea I was doing this, either. It was only in those painful moments of clarity you realize that you've been living like a crack head. Dirty dishes everywhere, trash strewn about the house, every article of clothing dirty... So now while I'm detoxing internally, I'm also detoxing externally. A full clean sweep. What's strange is its oddly therapeutic to clean up your living area, and I am an admitted total slob.
I've got so much more to tell and methods for getting clean anonymously and on your own, I promise you all I will continue to post and PLEASE ask questions. Helping others truly helps yourself recover as well.
As I said in my first post, I'm married with children. My wife did something spectacular to help me through this as well, all you significant others please ask any questions as well and please don't blame your husbands... They are prisoners and some may not yet see that.
Last note before I go out and do something FUN for the first time in a Looong time... Build yourself a withdrawal "kit" before you start: (all ingredients 100% legal and Over The Counter:
-Emetrol- for immediate relief from nausea (pepto bismol doesn't work for me)
-Benadryl- for when your about to relapse, this will help you sleep it off, aid nausea and pain/headaches
-chocolate- supposedly helps cannabis withdrawal symptoms
-Gatorade- or any beverage that replaces electrolytes etc. when you hit the wall of symptoms, blowing liquid out of every hole, it's gonna feel like you just ran a marathon and will need to be replenished with fluids and electrolytes.
-soups- lots of them, because I still can't eat a full meal, this is where I get my sustenance.
-entertainment- something you can lose yourself in, get immersed so your not just thinking about getting high. Recommend the hunger games, lost or any series that lasts for countless hours. You will begin to feel physically like crud but will mentally feel super-smart compared to your old, high self. Things you would never think would interest you will, probably because your brain will be begging for a distraction from your current condition.
This is my current plan and So far I have zero desire to relapse. My withdrawal symtoms have greatly been reduced comparative to past attempts.
Oh, and ask God for help. He will, I promise.
I'm absolutely confident that Ive almost beat this thing, without medical help or inpatiet treatment. I've relapsed once or twice since my last post and I now realize that's because I never FULLY committed until this last time. I wanted to quit, but FEAR is what made me keep coming back. My last relapses happened because I never got rid of All my paraphernalia, I would always hold onto my pipe or the empty baggies for the "shake", for that "just in case" emergency hit.... You know, only to fight off withdrawal symptoms... Not to get high or anything...
Don't lie to yourself, this stuff is like the beating heart in an Edgar Allen Poe story... It will call to you in the night from wherever it is hidden... You MUST destroy all traces of it, including pipes or whatever you smoke out of. DOnt over think it, all it takes is a moment of bravery... Throw it all out at once, pray and remember: every minute of pain you endure during withdrawals you will NEVER have to experience again. Every minute you don't use is a great accomplishment. But if you relapse, those days of pain you experienced will have to be relived again and again...
Schedule to have your withdrawals during the weekend, NOT the work week. I relapsed once because I physically couldn't function at work without it ( or so I convinced myself). On the weekend if you have to puke out of both ends while shaking with cold sweats, at least your co-workers won't be there to wonder what is wrong with you.
It also gave me something productive to do: when I was using I would neglect EVERYTHinG in my life. I had no idea I was doing this, either. It was only in those painful moments of clarity you realize that you've been living like a crack head. Dirty dishes everywhere, trash strewn about the house, every article of clothing dirty... So now while I'm detoxing internally, I'm also detoxing externally. A full clean sweep. What's strange is its oddly therapeutic to clean up your living area, and I am an admitted total slob.
I've got so much more to tell and methods for getting clean anonymously and on your own, I promise you all I will continue to post and PLEASE ask questions. Helping others truly helps yourself recover as well.
As I said in my first post, I'm married with children. My wife did something spectacular to help me through this as well, all you significant others please ask any questions as well and please don't blame your husbands... They are prisoners and some may not yet see that.
Last note before I go out and do something FUN for the first time in a Looong time... Build yourself a withdrawal "kit" before you start: (all ingredients 100% legal and Over The Counter:
-Emetrol- for immediate relief from nausea (pepto bismol doesn't work for me)
-Benadryl- for when your about to relapse, this will help you sleep it off, aid nausea and pain/headaches
-chocolate- supposedly helps cannabis withdrawal symptoms
-Gatorade- or any beverage that replaces electrolytes etc. when you hit the wall of symptoms, blowing liquid out of every hole, it's gonna feel like you just ran a marathon and will need to be replenished with fluids and electrolytes.
-soups- lots of them, because I still can't eat a full meal, this is where I get my sustenance.
-entertainment- something you can lose yourself in, get immersed so your not just thinking about getting high. Recommend the hunger games, lost or any series that lasts for countless hours. You will begin to feel physically like crud but will mentally feel super-smart compared to your old, high self. Things you would never think would interest you will, probably because your brain will be begging for a distraction from your current condition.
This is my current plan and So far I have zero desire to relapse. My withdrawal symtoms have greatly been reduced comparative to past attempts.
Oh, and ask God for help. He will, I promise.
My sister is addicted to synthetic marijuana. I had been worried about it for some time... for several months she was using it regularly. I visit her about every two months, so that I can see her and my 3 year old niece, and every time I would visit it seemed like she was using it more often. She was even trying to hide from me that she was using. In her house, you have to go through her bedroom to get to the bathroom. At night I went to the bathroom and noticed she had been smoking pot in her bed next to where my niece was sleeping. I asked her if she had been smoking and she lashed out with anger and denied it. I mean, I could see the pipe right next to her on the bed and could smell it, so it was obvious.
Two months ago when I visited she had stopped using the synthetic and was using real marijuana... and I walked in her house and the house was CLEAN. She was happy again, and had a normal amount of energy. It was like the sun had come back up... I hadn't seen this sister in months. I had been really worried for some time, but then when I saw how much better she was doing, and heard her say that she believed the synthetic marijuana was really really bad stuff I felt so much more relaxed and hopeful. I still didn't like the idea of her using marijuana regularly (I'm a former pothead myself and there was a year and a half starting back in 2009 when I myself was using real marijuana daily, multiple times daily after losing a job and being on unemployment and pretty depressed) so I know that using marijuana regularly is no different than being an alcoholic. She convinced me she was only using twice a week, since her tolerance was so high for it that using more often than that was not even beneficial to her firbomyalgia symptons. Since she seemed so much better, I decided I would accept that... and maybe I was even deluding myself in doing so. Apparently not long after that she started using the synthetic stuff again, but I didn't realize it until I visited her last week.
This last week when I visited my sister, I saw some alarming behavior from her and heard her say some things that were also very alarming. Her best friend, who is her part-time roommate (she lives mostly with her boyfriend) came to talk to me one night while my sister was at work and confirmed some things I was starting to think were going on based on comments my sister had made during the visit. My sister is majorly neglecting my niece, forgetting to feed her, but not even realizing she is doing so. Her house looks horrible, moreso than it ever has. She seemed chaotic. She had a plastic grocery bag of prescription medications, one of which her friend and I think is acting something like speed. She couldn't sit down for 5 minutes to have a conversation with me the first night she was there, and agrees with me she has been chaotic lately but says it is the fibromyalgia. She also was complaining of severe memory loss and blaming that on fibromyalgia as well.
A few months ago my sister started hanging out with some people because she wanted more friends to have more support in her life, she says. These people party all the time. They leave their kids in the house being watched by what my sister calls "sober adults," but what that usually means is one or two teenagers (aged 18-19) while the adults get completely wasted in this garage that is detached from the house. I believe she goes there most nights of the week to party.
My sister has fibromyalgia, and has convinced herself she is using synthetic marijuana to treat her fibromyalgia symptons, even though every single time she uses it she smokes several bowls at a time, and she is basically smoking all day long. Her friend says she will sit in the bathroom and smoke for hours at a time.
I came in to visit my sister last Tuesday night. She said she was concerned that my niece has been acting strangely. She said the night before she had been out talking for hours to one of her friends (also a synthetic weed addict, and they were smoking together). She said she went to her car to get something out of it. My niece was asleep in her car seat, and ten minutes later my niece started screaming at the top of her lungs. My sister was like, "Why did she do that? If she needed something, why didn't she just tell me?" I was like, "Well sis, maybe when she woke up by herself in the back of the car in the middle of the night it scared her." My sister's very adamantly said, "Well no, because she's used to that!" I mean... I keep replaying this conversation in my head. My sister is so far into this addiction right now that she does not realize that it is abnormal to have your kid in the car sleeping at night while you party for hours. This is not who my sister is. A year ago she was a college professor, and lost her job because she was a single mom and could not get her publications done. Now she is working a very stressful job caring for mentally ill adults with MR in group homes and making barely more than minimum wage... the hours are stressful, the company she works for is chaotic, she is dealing with some people who are violently schizophrenic and unpredictable. This job is horrible for her, she is struggling financially, and I think the stress of all this is part of what landed her in the addiction she is now in. She keeps saying she needs to get out of her current job, but I honestly think she is also addicted to the drama of the job she's in. Anything to escape her real issues and emotions?
She is barely acknowleding that she is neglecting my niece. She has said to me this past visit that "there are times when I should not have been parenting that child." The visit before that (when she had switched to regular marijuana and seemed so much better) she also admitted that she had made some parenting mistakes with my niece. But, she won't go beyond vague admissions, and she also hides her synthetic weed use, and now that she's on it again it's worse even than before (at least before she was able to take care of my niece, but now it is major neglect and child endangerment, I'm certain she is driving with my niece while highly wasted). In fact, her friend told me that one time she was leaving that place where she parties and ran her car into a ditch and then drove straight through it and out of it, all with my niece in the car.
My sister's friend also says that no matter how much my sister smokes, she always says she's not high. When i visited this last time and saw how my niece was at risk, I took my sister and niece up to my aunt's house (who raised us). While my sister was sleeping (she has gotten into a crash and burn cycle) I explained to my aunt what was going on and she agreed that it was serious and that she would not let my niece be in that situation, that she would take her in. She already keeps my niece two nights a week while my sister is working an overnight shift, but volunteered to my sister to keep her more days a week (but really she is just going to keep her). I'm not sure how my sister will react when she realizes this has happened, and at first that kind of scared me but I would rather my sister be mad at me than have my niece in danger.
Sorry this is such a long post... it is a lot to absorb and digest, what I have witnessed this past week visiting my sister. I would never in a million years have thought my sister would ever be an unfit mother, that she would endanger her child or neglect her. Her friend says she will come over and find my niece eating food that's been sitting out for days because she is fending for herself. She will drink sour milk because that's what there is, and she gets all of this out for herself at the age of three. My sister's friend said to me, "You know I would take your niece if I had to, but I don't really know what my legal rights are, but something has to be done." I'm very thankful my sister's friend came to talk to me, because she filled in the blanks and confirmed some worries/suspicions I already had about what was going on. I had already planned to talk to my aunt but the info from my sister's friend gave me more to go on.
I feel better at least my aunt knows what's going on and has agreed to take my niece, but as far as my sister's addiction I expect we have a long road ahead of us.
I guess what is most concerning to me is:
a.) my sister's lack of awareness that she has and addiction problem and
b.) her lack of awareness that choices she has made in regards to her child are abnormal and very unsafe and neglectful.
I do have optimism that eventually a lightbulb will go off and she'll realize there is a problem. That will be the first step for her to choose to get help I guess. I am optimistic, and I don't know if I could deal with this knowledge myself if I didn't try to be optimistic... I keep visualizing a future where she is clean and we can look back on this as a time when she made mistakes, but that she can forgive herself and through mindfulness and awareness can become happy and functioning again.
I envision that for all of you as well who are experiencing synthetic weed addiction. Know that when you let go of it, you will begin to find your happiness again, and will learn healthy ways of coping with stress. I see all of this for my sister and for all of you. I have experienced it myself in healing from addiction to marijuana. I agree with what many of you have said, this stuff is not the same as marijuana in terms of the level of addictiveness or the effects it has, but there is nothing that cannot be overcome.
Two months ago when I visited she had stopped using the synthetic and was using real marijuana... and I walked in her house and the house was CLEAN. She was happy again, and had a normal amount of energy. It was like the sun had come back up... I hadn't seen this sister in months. I had been really worried for some time, but then when I saw how much better she was doing, and heard her say that she believed the synthetic marijuana was really really bad stuff I felt so much more relaxed and hopeful. I still didn't like the idea of her using marijuana regularly (I'm a former pothead myself and there was a year and a half starting back in 2009 when I myself was using real marijuana daily, multiple times daily after losing a job and being on unemployment and pretty depressed) so I know that using marijuana regularly is no different than being an alcoholic. She convinced me she was only using twice a week, since her tolerance was so high for it that using more often than that was not even beneficial to her firbomyalgia symptons. Since she seemed so much better, I decided I would accept that... and maybe I was even deluding myself in doing so. Apparently not long after that she started using the synthetic stuff again, but I didn't realize it until I visited her last week.
This last week when I visited my sister, I saw some alarming behavior from her and heard her say some things that were also very alarming. Her best friend, who is her part-time roommate (she lives mostly with her boyfriend) came to talk to me one night while my sister was at work and confirmed some things I was starting to think were going on based on comments my sister had made during the visit. My sister is majorly neglecting my niece, forgetting to feed her, but not even realizing she is doing so. Her house looks horrible, moreso than it ever has. She seemed chaotic. She had a plastic grocery bag of prescription medications, one of which her friend and I think is acting something like speed. She couldn't sit down for 5 minutes to have a conversation with me the first night she was there, and agrees with me she has been chaotic lately but says it is the fibromyalgia. She also was complaining of severe memory loss and blaming that on fibromyalgia as well.
A few months ago my sister started hanging out with some people because she wanted more friends to have more support in her life, she says. These people party all the time. They leave their kids in the house being watched by what my sister calls "sober adults," but what that usually means is one or two teenagers (aged 18-19) while the adults get completely wasted in this garage that is detached from the house. I believe she goes there most nights of the week to party.
My sister has fibromyalgia, and has convinced herself she is using synthetic marijuana to treat her fibromyalgia symptons, even though every single time she uses it she smokes several bowls at a time, and she is basically smoking all day long. Her friend says she will sit in the bathroom and smoke for hours at a time.
I came in to visit my sister last Tuesday night. She said she was concerned that my niece has been acting strangely. She said the night before she had been out talking for hours to one of her friends (also a synthetic weed addict, and they were smoking together). She said she went to her car to get something out of it. My niece was asleep in her car seat, and ten minutes later my niece started screaming at the top of her lungs. My sister was like, "Why did she do that? If she needed something, why didn't she just tell me?" I was like, "Well sis, maybe when she woke up by herself in the back of the car in the middle of the night it scared her." My sister's very adamantly said, "Well no, because she's used to that!" I mean... I keep replaying this conversation in my head. My sister is so far into this addiction right now that she does not realize that it is abnormal to have your kid in the car sleeping at night while you party for hours. This is not who my sister is. A year ago she was a college professor, and lost her job because she was a single mom and could not get her publications done. Now she is working a very stressful job caring for mentally ill adults with MR in group homes and making barely more than minimum wage... the hours are stressful, the company she works for is chaotic, she is dealing with some people who are violently schizophrenic and unpredictable. This job is horrible for her, she is struggling financially, and I think the stress of all this is part of what landed her in the addiction she is now in. She keeps saying she needs to get out of her current job, but I honestly think she is also addicted to the drama of the job she's in. Anything to escape her real issues and emotions?
She is barely acknowleding that she is neglecting my niece. She has said to me this past visit that "there are times when I should not have been parenting that child." The visit before that (when she had switched to regular marijuana and seemed so much better) she also admitted that she had made some parenting mistakes with my niece. But, she won't go beyond vague admissions, and she also hides her synthetic weed use, and now that she's on it again it's worse even than before (at least before she was able to take care of my niece, but now it is major neglect and child endangerment, I'm certain she is driving with my niece while highly wasted). In fact, her friend told me that one time she was leaving that place where she parties and ran her car into a ditch and then drove straight through it and out of it, all with my niece in the car.
My sister's friend also says that no matter how much my sister smokes, she always says she's not high. When i visited this last time and saw how my niece was at risk, I took my sister and niece up to my aunt's house (who raised us). While my sister was sleeping (she has gotten into a crash and burn cycle) I explained to my aunt what was going on and she agreed that it was serious and that she would not let my niece be in that situation, that she would take her in. She already keeps my niece two nights a week while my sister is working an overnight shift, but volunteered to my sister to keep her more days a week (but really she is just going to keep her). I'm not sure how my sister will react when she realizes this has happened, and at first that kind of scared me but I would rather my sister be mad at me than have my niece in danger.
Sorry this is such a long post... it is a lot to absorb and digest, what I have witnessed this past week visiting my sister. I would never in a million years have thought my sister would ever be an unfit mother, that she would endanger her child or neglect her. Her friend says she will come over and find my niece eating food that's been sitting out for days because she is fending for herself. She will drink sour milk because that's what there is, and she gets all of this out for herself at the age of three. My sister's friend said to me, "You know I would take your niece if I had to, but I don't really know what my legal rights are, but something has to be done." I'm very thankful my sister's friend came to talk to me, because she filled in the blanks and confirmed some worries/suspicions I already had about what was going on. I had already planned to talk to my aunt but the info from my sister's friend gave me more to go on.
I feel better at least my aunt knows what's going on and has agreed to take my niece, but as far as my sister's addiction I expect we have a long road ahead of us.
I guess what is most concerning to me is:
a.) my sister's lack of awareness that she has and addiction problem and
b.) her lack of awareness that choices she has made in regards to her child are abnormal and very unsafe and neglectful.
I do have optimism that eventually a lightbulb will go off and she'll realize there is a problem. That will be the first step for her to choose to get help I guess. I am optimistic, and I don't know if I could deal with this knowledge myself if I didn't try to be optimistic... I keep visualizing a future where she is clean and we can look back on this as a time when she made mistakes, but that she can forgive herself and through mindfulness and awareness can become happy and functioning again.
I envision that for all of you as well who are experiencing synthetic weed addiction. Know that when you let go of it, you will begin to find your happiness again, and will learn healthy ways of coping with stress. I see all of this for my sister and for all of you. I have experienced it myself in healing from addiction to marijuana. I agree with what many of you have said, this stuff is not the same as marijuana in terms of the level of addictiveness or the effects it has, but there is nothing that cannot be overcome.
Hailey and Concerned Sister:
There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise! I've finally become myself again, I haven't relapsed and have absolutely no desire to. My withdrawal symptoms seem to have Largely subsided, I can sleep through the night unaided, My appetite has finally come back and the entire world has taken on a whole new dimension... Everything is fascinating, interesting and new... It's almost like being high on life. I think part of it is an overwhelming sense of relief that I've finally beat this demon, and I've severed any way for it to seduce me back. I have no desire to get high.
Hailey, haven't heard from you in a bit, how are you holding up? As many have said on this forum and others, day 3 was the worst for me, but after making it through I could feel my mind and body recovering on days 4-5. I still couldn't eat, but I survived off of chicken noodle broth, Gatorade and vitamin water. Now I'm eating again, but a word of warning: don't try to force feed yourself, every time I did during the withdrawal phase I would just tack it back up. Now that I can eat my stomach has shrank so much an appetizer is like an entire meal to me!
Oh, another helpful tip: Watermelon! I also munched on watermelon when I was transitioning to solids and it did great, as well as rehydrate.
Looking back I now realize that I had actually been through the worst of the withdrawal phases numerous times when I first attempted to quit, but would break on the night of the third or morning of the fourth. Man, I was SOOOO close so many times, I had assumed this would go on for weeks or months and would just break. But sure enough, if I would have stayed the course I could have saved myself a whole lot of pain and suffering, as well as my loved ones.
Please note I do have a very fast metabolism, so your mileage may very.
Another quitting tip: every time I relapsed I did so because of withdrawals... I would Get another bag and honestly tell myself that it was only to be used in dire emergencies, if the withdrawals are just too extreme. BUT... After that first "medicinal" hit, another couldn't be much different... Then another, then suddenly I'm smoking every few hours, just like you were saying Hailey.
I'll tell you right now I can't have any little bit of it in my house. No way. If I have it, I'll smoke it. ALL of it. I had to throw away every last little "reserve stash" no matter how minuscule. I'm talking I couldn't even have stems in the trash can, by day 3 I would be dumping it and looking desperately for it.
Soooo... I had to go cold turkey. I didn't WANT to of course, but nothing else worked. "oh I'll only smoke on weekends" doesn't work. "oh I'll ration this off for weeks" won't work.
In the end, only quitting worked. Cold turkey. It sucks, but if you prepare yourself and give it your all you WILL succeed.
The true test of a man isn't falling down, it's getting back up. For the first time in years I'm truly proud of the man in the mirror. You'll get there if you haven't already.
CONCERNED SISTER, I'm no professional at this, but I'm willing to bet your niece has to get out of that environment before your sister can recover. My loving wife took my daughter and gave me the space I needed to recover. I had to focus all of my Energy into quitting. I couldn't be a Father and an addict in the throws of withdrawal. you can't multitask when your recovering from years of drug abuse. It's all or nothing. At least that's how it was for me.
Good luck to you all and your lived ones! God bless you and keep you!
(sorry to get all religious on everybody, but for me recovery was (and is) a religious experience.).
I see theres a lot of lurkers on the forums too, chime in! Need help? Got a success story? I want to hear it! This forum really helped me out, it's nice to see we're not alone in this shameful downward spiral. I'm climbing out, grab on and come with me!!!!
There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise! I've finally become myself again, I haven't relapsed and have absolutely no desire to. My withdrawal symptoms seem to have Largely subsided, I can sleep through the night unaided, My appetite has finally come back and the entire world has taken on a whole new dimension... Everything is fascinating, interesting and new... It's almost like being high on life. I think part of it is an overwhelming sense of relief that I've finally beat this demon, and I've severed any way for it to seduce me back. I have no desire to get high.
Hailey, haven't heard from you in a bit, how are you holding up? As many have said on this forum and others, day 3 was the worst for me, but after making it through I could feel my mind and body recovering on days 4-5. I still couldn't eat, but I survived off of chicken noodle broth, Gatorade and vitamin water. Now I'm eating again, but a word of warning: don't try to force feed yourself, every time I did during the withdrawal phase I would just tack it back up. Now that I can eat my stomach has shrank so much an appetizer is like an entire meal to me!
Oh, another helpful tip: Watermelon! I also munched on watermelon when I was transitioning to solids and it did great, as well as rehydrate.
Looking back I now realize that I had actually been through the worst of the withdrawal phases numerous times when I first attempted to quit, but would break on the night of the third or morning of the fourth. Man, I was SOOOO close so many times, I had assumed this would go on for weeks or months and would just break. But sure enough, if I would have stayed the course I could have saved myself a whole lot of pain and suffering, as well as my loved ones.
Please note I do have a very fast metabolism, so your mileage may very.
Another quitting tip: every time I relapsed I did so because of withdrawals... I would Get another bag and honestly tell myself that it was only to be used in dire emergencies, if the withdrawals are just too extreme. BUT... After that first "medicinal" hit, another couldn't be much different... Then another, then suddenly I'm smoking every few hours, just like you were saying Hailey.
I'll tell you right now I can't have any little bit of it in my house. No way. If I have it, I'll smoke it. ALL of it. I had to throw away every last little "reserve stash" no matter how minuscule. I'm talking I couldn't even have stems in the trash can, by day 3 I would be dumping it and looking desperately for it.
Soooo... I had to go cold turkey. I didn't WANT to of course, but nothing else worked. "oh I'll only smoke on weekends" doesn't work. "oh I'll ration this off for weeks" won't work.
In the end, only quitting worked. Cold turkey. It sucks, but if you prepare yourself and give it your all you WILL succeed.
The true test of a man isn't falling down, it's getting back up. For the first time in years I'm truly proud of the man in the mirror. You'll get there if you haven't already.
CONCERNED SISTER, I'm no professional at this, but I'm willing to bet your niece has to get out of that environment before your sister can recover. My loving wife took my daughter and gave me the space I needed to recover. I had to focus all of my Energy into quitting. I couldn't be a Father and an addict in the throws of withdrawal. you can't multitask when your recovering from years of drug abuse. It's all or nothing. At least that's how it was for me.
Good luck to you all and your lived ones! God bless you and keep you!
(sorry to get all religious on everybody, but for me recovery was (and is) a religious experience.).
I see theres a lot of lurkers on the forums too, chime in! Need help? Got a success story? I want to hear it! This forum really helped me out, it's nice to see we're not alone in this shameful downward spiral. I'm climbing out, grab on and come with me!!!!
Afraid of Myself: (the Original Poster)
Are you still clean? How is it? Any cravings in the long haul? Anything I should be wary of as a newly recovered addict?
Are you still clean? How is it? Any cravings in the long haul? Anything I should be wary of as a newly recovered addict?
So as you can see from my post times, not all of my withdrawal symptoms have faded... I'm beat today because I stayed up so late. My mind still races at night, but my thoughts are thankfully happy and hopeful ones.
It is very likely that this may not be a symptom as well... I've been an insomniac all of my life and perhaps this is just the normal "me", and I've been self medicating to finally get sleep..
Still going strong, no relapses, no cravings, I ate solids for lunch... Just could use a nap.
Tonight I'll take a Benadryl around 8 or 9, so hopefully you all won't see me posting at odd hours of the night!
It feels great to be sober! Even though I'm a bit tired I'm still able to function 10x faster and more efficiently than I ever did when I was using.
It is very likely that this may not be a symptom as well... I've been an insomniac all of my life and perhaps this is just the normal "me", and I've been self medicating to finally get sleep..
Still going strong, no relapses, no cravings, I ate solids for lunch... Just could use a nap.
Tonight I'll take a Benadryl around 8 or 9, so hopefully you all won't see me posting at odd hours of the night!
It feels great to be sober! Even though I'm a bit tired I'm still able to function 10x faster and more efficiently than I ever did when I was using.
Well I see at least someone is reading so I'll keep posting...
Just took a Benadryl, hopefully you won't see a post from me at 2 AM!
As an update, I had a MAJOR stressor this afternoon... And I don't mean an everyday, "oh it's a Monday" stressor.
Still no relapse! I've just accepted the fact that life is tough sometimes, but that's what makes the good (sober) times even better.
Well I'm done talking to myself, goodnight.
Just took a Benadryl, hopefully you won't see a post from me at 2 AM!
As an update, I had a MAJOR stressor this afternoon... And I don't mean an everyday, "oh it's a Monday" stressor.
Still no relapse! I've just accepted the fact that life is tough sometimes, but that's what makes the good (sober) times even better.
Well I'm done talking to myself, goodnight.
hey Josh,
Yes my niece is not living with my sister right now. I could not have left from my last visit knowing that my niece was unsafe. She is living with my aunt right now. My sister thinks my aunt is doing this because Heather needs "rest from her fibromyalgia" but it's really because of the drug use and the degree to which she is endangering and neglecting my niece.
I don't think my sister is even attempting to detox because she does not realize she has a problem. Every symptom from the drug use she blames on her fibromyalgia, and then she uses the drugs supposedly to treat the fibromyalgia. She has convinced herself that the synthetic weed helps with her pain and insomnia. I cannot imagine how this is true since she stays up late every night partying, and I assume the exhaustion probably causes her more pain! She isn't seeing anything clearly right now.
I think she has not had her realization moment yet. She is very very unaware even of the degree she is endangering her child. Maybe when she realizes her child has been removed from her care she will wake up, but it's hard to say.
Yes my niece is not living with my sister right now. I could not have left from my last visit knowing that my niece was unsafe. She is living with my aunt right now. My sister thinks my aunt is doing this because Heather needs "rest from her fibromyalgia" but it's really because of the drug use and the degree to which she is endangering and neglecting my niece.
I don't think my sister is even attempting to detox because she does not realize she has a problem. Every symptom from the drug use she blames on her fibromyalgia, and then she uses the drugs supposedly to treat the fibromyalgia. She has convinced herself that the synthetic weed helps with her pain and insomnia. I cannot imagine how this is true since she stays up late every night partying, and I assume the exhaustion probably causes her more pain! She isn't seeing anything clearly right now.
I think she has not had her realization moment yet. She is very very unaware even of the degree she is endangering her child. Maybe when she realizes her child has been removed from her care she will wake up, but it's hard to say.
