Hello i have a teenager that is using marijuana and have no idea what to do to help her or where to go for help,we have been batteling this with her for a while,she is coming home and we know she is high,we seem to have the same fight here about the same thing all the time,i fear for her,she is only 17 and has no clue the danger she is playing with,i also have a 14 year old daughter that i am scared will run the same road if some kind of change is not made with her.i have been reading online on what to do and where to go for help,i am a little worried about sending her to a recover program thinking she will either learn how to lie and use the lingo better or learn of bigger and better drugs that are out there,i have wenr down this same road with her 19 year old brother and the end result for him was 2 years in state prision,i dont want to keep playing the same game here with them and need some help here,is there any parents out there who know what i can do and where to go next..please help me
laurie
I'm not a parent...I'm still young myself...but here's a suggestion: Why don't you let her read some of the posts on this site so she can she what agony we are all going through. Maybe she will see that it's not a "cool" thing to do, and that it will cause her problems later in life. I don't know if it's a good suggestion or not, but it's the only thing I could think of. If you try to force her she might resent your ideas, and "run further away". There are alot of people in pain here...maybe she will see that, and really think about it. Good luck.
Laurie, first and foremost, you will find a lot of good support on the family and partners forum. This forum addresses the addict directly and as such, we are somewhat ill equipped to advise family members. Most of us have a lot of wreckage to clean up in our own family histories, and I doubt we are in a position to offer much solid, constructive advice until we have cleaned up our own acts and repaired our damaged familial bonds.
I was once in your daughters shoes, and I can tell you that no amount of begging, cajoling, or pleading would have done a bit of good. We addicts are like that. Once we are inside the addiction bubble, it is very difficult for us to look outside it and understand how our actions are damaging our loved ones and ourselves.
I have been clean from pot (and everything else) for nearly 15 years (at the end of the month). As a garden variety drug addict, I can offer that nothing really worked for me until the pain of my daily circumstances became so excruciating that I was willing to go to any length to get clean and be freed from the obsession to use. It was only at that point that I was willing to humble myself and go to an AA meeting. I found redemption there. Sadly, I was in my mid thirties when I finally got it, and 18 years had gone up in smoke by that time.
The best advice I can offer you is that your daughter is going to do what she is going to do. Any effort you make at this point to shield her from the consequences of her own bad conduct is likely to enable her and embolden her. If you choose to take action, I would recommend dramatic action, such as rehab, and I would urge you to be extremely firm and unwavering on this. Addicts typically play family members like Alison Krauss plays the fiddle, and once she reaches 18 she will beyond your ability to legally intervene in her affairs.
In addition to the Family and Partners forum, I would highly recommend that you consider attending Al Anon, to begin to learn how to set boundaries around this childs bad behavior and to avoid enabling her.
Good luck. Sorry I cannot offer any easy solutions. If anyone does offer you an easy solution, I suggest keeping a very firm hand on your pocket book.
August
I was once in your daughters shoes, and I can tell you that no amount of begging, cajoling, or pleading would have done a bit of good. We addicts are like that. Once we are inside the addiction bubble, it is very difficult for us to look outside it and understand how our actions are damaging our loved ones and ourselves.
I have been clean from pot (and everything else) for nearly 15 years (at the end of the month). As a garden variety drug addict, I can offer that nothing really worked for me until the pain of my daily circumstances became so excruciating that I was willing to go to any length to get clean and be freed from the obsession to use. It was only at that point that I was willing to humble myself and go to an AA meeting. I found redemption there. Sadly, I was in my mid thirties when I finally got it, and 18 years had gone up in smoke by that time.
The best advice I can offer you is that your daughter is going to do what she is going to do. Any effort you make at this point to shield her from the consequences of her own bad conduct is likely to enable her and embolden her. If you choose to take action, I would recommend dramatic action, such as rehab, and I would urge you to be extremely firm and unwavering on this. Addicts typically play family members like Alison Krauss plays the fiddle, and once she reaches 18 she will beyond your ability to legally intervene in her affairs.
In addition to the Family and Partners forum, I would highly recommend that you consider attending Al Anon, to begin to learn how to set boundaries around this childs bad behavior and to avoid enabling her.
Good luck. Sorry I cannot offer any easy solutions. If anyone does offer you an easy solution, I suggest keeping a very firm hand on your pocket book.
August
