Gidday Everyone:)
As my journey into recovery or back out of the sh@t has progressed i found that after the intial year of recovery and all the firsts had been dealt with or worked on addiction suttly changed its tack from concentrating(mentally) on drinking to having a go at me via the spiritual, emotional and physical with a bit of the mental doubt thrown in now and then when ome of my other centres had a direct hit.
I have always had to look at me and be honest with myself before i can do any looking elsewhere, i am not perfect at this and there are someareas of my life that if brought into the light will ruin not only my life but others as well and they are all to do with affairs and past lies, guilt this is where it is necessary not to be in a big hurry to make amends.
I have made some amends and people have said what the F are you talking about, i have made other amends where the physical attraction was still strong and the desire nearly won, all of this was early in recovery and i wanted to do it all in my time instead of gods time.
In every thing i need to do in recovery that has to do with the past and amends i now pray and ask god or my higher power for guidance and usually the person or persons are prescented to me in gods time.
Also there are people that no amends can be made to physically because to do so would injure me and others...I need to pray to god for forgiveness for my part and also to help with the guilt that if let to build in my head can mean not necessarily a drink but another go at an indescrection or desire as addiction senses an angle of attack.
These are just a few examples and there are a multitude of other areas such as people hurt, money owed, lies told, and events that i dont remember but can resurface via others and the problems this creates, it is all a journey that is achievable as long as i stay sober and grateful.
As i said this is just my early journey and some of the obstacles i fell through instead of jumping and all i know is that by going to AA and being gratefull for being sober one day at a time i am learning to put the safety on before i react to the trigger
Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful the bugga is doing pushups for the day it gets an in and as long as i am sober and grateful to everyone and thing that has helped me stay sober and grateful, i will be stronger one day at a time
Just some of my E.S.H and gratitude for the really cool memories i have of the early years in recovery and the endless hope that was offered to me every soberday
light and love Zac
Zac. Kwitcherbellyaykin.
LOL
THIS is exactly why I needed a sponsor. I came to believe that a Power Greater than Myself could restore me to sanity, but I after that, just believing didn't wash the socks. The ACTION associated with The Steps is what taught me HOW to apply spiritual principles in my life to make things right, and asking a sponsor to help provided the wisdom (and integrity) to know when to ask someone who'd gone before me. The "list" that I created from my 4th Step nearly vanished after Step 5, except for some unfinished business I needed to do to make MY side of the street right. He helped me with that. There's still one I need to do when I go home to my birthplace, but that'll wait until I get there. It'll be put in front of me when it's time.
The thing is, I wouldn't have known when/how/where if I'd not had a sponsor. He was there with me for the beginning and he helped me with wisdom and preparedness--and encouragement where necessary--to make sure I didn't break more than I fixed.
I'm not TELLIN', just SUGGESTIN'...
LOL
THIS is exactly why I needed a sponsor. I came to believe that a Power Greater than Myself could restore me to sanity, but I after that, just believing didn't wash the socks. The ACTION associated with The Steps is what taught me HOW to apply spiritual principles in my life to make things right, and asking a sponsor to help provided the wisdom (and integrity) to know when to ask someone who'd gone before me. The "list" that I created from my 4th Step nearly vanished after Step 5, except for some unfinished business I needed to do to make MY side of the street right. He helped me with that. There's still one I need to do when I go home to my birthplace, but that'll wait until I get there. It'll be put in front of me when it's time.
The thing is, I wouldn't have known when/how/where if I'd not had a sponsor. He was there with me for the beginning and he helped me with wisdom and preparedness--and encouragement where necessary--to make sure I didn't break more than I fixed.
I'm not TELLIN', just SUGGESTIN'...
Gidday All
Skg ...sorry mate the post was written in a past tense sort of can be seen through the first and last paragraphs but maybe only i can see that, this was just a post about past experiences and how things were at the time as best as i can remember and i am referring to 10years ago, the post is meant to be just what it is a reminder that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful and how it was for me in early recovery.
I think i need to write when i post at times this is from my past E.S.H so there is no confusion as this has happened before:)
light and love Zac
Skg ...sorry mate the post was written in a past tense sort of can be seen through the first and last paragraphs but maybe only i can see that, this was just a post about past experiences and how things were at the time as best as i can remember and i am referring to 10years ago, the post is meant to be just what it is a reminder that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful and how it was for me in early recovery.
I think i need to write when i post at times this is from my past E.S.H so there is no confusion as this has happened before:)
light and love Zac
