The Addict

Pain Pills
1
The Addict by Anne Sexton

Sleepmonger,
deathmonger,
with capsules in my palms each night,
eight at a time from sweet pharmaceutical bottles
I make arrangements for a pint-sized journey.
I'm the queen of this condition.
I'm an expert on making the trip
and now they say I'm an addict.
Now they ask why.
Why!

Don't they know that I promised to die!
I'm keeping in practice.
I'm merely staying in shape.
The pills are a mother, but better,
every color and as good as sour balls.
I'm on a diet from death.

Yes, I admit
it has gotten to be a bit of a habit-
blows eight at a time, socked in the eye,
hauled away by the pink, the orange,
the green and the white goodnights.
I'm becoming something of a chemical
mixture.
that's it!

My supply
of tablets
has got to last for years and years.
I like them more than I like me.
It's a kind of marriage.
It's a kind of war where I plant bombs inside
of myself.

Yes
I try
to kill myself in small amounts,
an innocuous occupation.
Actually I'm hung up on it.
But remember I don't make too much noise.
And frankly no one has to lug me out
and I don't stand there in my winding sheet.
I'm a little buttercup in my yellow nightie
eating my eight loaves in a row
and in a certain order as in
the laying on of hands
or the black sacrament.

It's a ceremony
but like any other sport
it's full of rules.
It's like a musical tennis match where
my mouth keeps catching the ball.
Then I lie on; my altar
elevated by the eight chemical kisses.

What a lay me down this is
with two pink, two orange,
two green, two white goodnights.
Fee-fi-fo-fum-
Now I'm borrowed.
Now I'm numb.
2
Good morning Gina!

Thanks for posting that. I'll come back in a couple of hours and read it again when my brain is fully awake. LOL

MFCY
Michelle
3
I think she might be smoking a little herb too.
4
Yes, Tim, It can really f*** you up to have a little herb in your mouth. LOL

Michelle, I've been up since six, reading enviously, wishing I could write like that.

MFCY!!! THREE times last night with DeNae.

Love,
Gina
5
LMAO. I'm sorry Gina. Chatting with you and DeNae lately is like an episode strait from The Twilight Zone.

"am I here"
"can you see me"


Michelle
6
God, I know, Michelle. It's like group therapy for narcoleptics.

"Oh, no. There, she's gone again."
"Wait a minute. She'll be back."
"Can you see me? Am I here?"

LMFCAO I'm ready to throw my computer out the window. Doesn't anyone know how we can re-load the older version of yahoo????

MFCY!!!
7
Gina

You and DeNae are the only two who have AIM. Maybe that is what is causing all the problems. Try uninstalling it and see if it makes a difference.

Michelle
8
Michelle,

No go. I uninstalled AIM several days ago and it's made no difference at all. Today I'll try uninstalling and re-installing yahoo, but I think that's just superstitiious behavior -- like opening up the hood when the car stalls. As if I would know what all was in there...
9
Girls,

HALLELUJAH

http://www.oldversion.com/program.php?n=yahoo

I've downloaded version 6 which the reviews said was the best. I hope we're back in business.

MFCY!!!

Gina
10
Hello my MFCGF and my MFMGF. FY has always worked for me. Let's give it a whirl later.

MFBFU
11
Gina,

When I was on FY with you, I got a message that "your friend is using an older version of Yahoo, click here to invite your friend to update".

lolololol

Sharon

edited to say: I didn't click on that out of fear, ha ha
12
Sharon,

I'm lovin' this old v.6 yahoo. It's time we all downgraded. It hasn't bumped me once today.

I think it's given me a new lease on life.

Gina