AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! I just want to scream!!!! So angry, so hurt, so disappointed.
Son, sleeping all day which we thought was his depression, was cocaine!! He didn't have any money. Sold a car, money was supposed to come to us today, but payments had been going to my son''s account since December! $3300! Just last night he told us the guy would be over to our shop with cash in hand. Needless to say that I literally had to yank my 22 yr old son out of bed today because he didn't want to face us. EF, EF, Ef!!!!!!! Steroids/drugs led to depression, so yes, he is depressed, but now I know there's way more to it than that. All trust has gone out the window. The rest of us our lousy detectives and my son is a top notch magician/actor who fools us well. Can't get him into our local drug rehab center, so he will see his usual counselor (who I just spilled the beans to). Trying so hard to be strong, but all I want to do is hit something. And then cry.
An addict putting on a show. What a surprise. And their act does fool many at first because sober friends and family don't expect conman behavior from their friends or family. But this is what a grifter exploits, expectations.
I am so sorry to hear this. I can relate, for sure. When he was in high school, I have been so angry that I have to deal with all the emotions and reality, while my son lays in bed oblivious to anything. He actually refused to wake up with myself, his dad and the truancy officer standing over him. Complete oblivion. I think this is what is so frustrating is that they don't even remember half the hell they put others through. Unfortunately, sometimes, the only answer is to kick them out which is hell on a mom.
Addiction is absolute hell for all involved. I don't have any answers, just wanted to offer my support.
Addiction is absolute hell for all involved. I don't have any answers, just wanted to offer my support.
Ugh, we all need those giant punching bags. I have been fooled many times.Each time I am amazed how easily I fall for the lies. I guess because I want the truth to be anything but addiction.
I never have understood how they can lie right to your face while you are literally giving them the shirt off your back. They feel so entitled, it seems they feel no guilt or remorse. They are very quick to complain if you disrespect them but they treat everyone else badly.
I wish we could put them all in a detainment camp for a few years. some place we could drop them off where they have meals and treatment. A giant hotel. An old cruise ship.
last night my son tried to bring someone to the house to look at the truck he wrecked, to possibly sell it. Everything on the front including radiator is broken. been that way since sept. no interest in fixing it. he did look at it a few times and take some broken parts off. The truck is in dad's name. he thinks he can sell it and take the cash - bc dad 'gave' it to him. (dad found good deal at $1000 for the truck) NO, I DONT THINK SO!
Oh, all the things he is going to do with his next paycheck and tax return - pay cred cards, give to me, take it all and drive away (in the other junk car that is in our name). I doubt it will last 24 hrs once it is in his hands. Oh, I'm sure he will have to pay people he has been borrowing from. and take someone out for dinner bc she bought him dinner. he says dinner costs $200.
nothing is normal
last night my son tried to bring someone to the house to look at the truck he wrecked, to possibly sell it. Everything on the front including radiator is broken. been that way since sept. no interest in fixing it. he did look at it a few times and take some broken parts off. The truck is in dad's name. he thinks he can sell it and take the cash - bc dad 'gave' it to him. (dad found good deal at $1000 for the truck) NO, I DONT THINK SO!
Oh, all the things he is going to do with his next paycheck and tax return - pay cred cards, give to me, take it all and drive away (in the other junk car that is in our name). I doubt it will last 24 hrs once it is in his hands. Oh, I'm sure he will have to pay people he has been borrowing from. and take someone out for dinner bc she bought him dinner. he says dinner costs $200.
nothing is normal
I'm so sorry..... Meth destroys our beautiful, smart, funny children & turns them into horrible, ugly creatures who destroy every single thing & person who loves them because they have to have that drug.
momfail - so sorry to hear what your son did. I understand how shocking it is to find out they did something so hurtful, etc. maybe your anger will be strong enough to drop him at a shelter - or something. If I could do it over, If I knew it would not end, I would have stop answering the phone and cut off my son years ago. I just always had hope. but it is true. every little bit we give, just helps them stay dependent on us. my other two children aren't like this. they want to be independent and they take care of their own financial responsibilities without ever asking us for anything. even though I have not succeeded, please figure out how to get your son out of the house and don't let him back in..
I have been telling my son to go to the hospital for detox. I wonder if he knows I wont let him back in once he's out. maybe that's why he wont go.
it is also sad, sad that every round we go through, make us love him less, and trust him less, and want to be around him less. which adds to everyone's sadness when he is clean. it takes a LONG time to forget the past. When my son was clean over the summer I think I cried more.
bc of lost time, regrets and knowing it might not last.
I have been telling my son to go to the hospital for detox. I wonder if he knows I wont let him back in once he's out. maybe that's why he wont go.
it is also sad, sad that every round we go through, make us love him less, and trust him less, and want to be around him less. which adds to everyone's sadness when he is clean. it takes a LONG time to forget the past. When my son was clean over the summer I think I cried more.
bc of lost time, regrets and knowing it might not last.
So sorry #momfail it's so frustrating...I understand your anger and hurt. They are camelians. Do we ever know who they really are? Do they even know who they are? It's so messed up...I keep praying.
I don't know who my son is anymore, nothing is normal, and even if I set my expectations extremely low, I still end up hurt. And yet, I just can't bring myself to give up.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
#momfail - I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel your pain. I've been there.
Things have changed in our household lately. We don't see our son very often. He lives with his girlfriend now and thankfully he is not asking us for anything. The crisis over the Christmas holidays has ended. No more drug use in the basement, sneaking in through the windows when we lock him out, stealing from us, etc.
I still sleep with my purse beside me at night. Old habits die hard.
I see my son approximately once a week. He pops by for a few hours but doesn't stay long. We are converting his old basement apartment into a gym for my husband and I to work out in. There's something to be said about showing him that we are taking care of ourselves so he has healthy parents to return to when he is ready to change.
From what I see, he is doing better now that we've "let go" and set firm boundaries. He acknowledges that he's not clean, but he looks better than he usually does when I see him.
The hardest thing for me is when he is in crisis. I can't bear to see his desperation. We're not in that place now, but I know we will be there again. Recovery is a long road. I shudder to think what his 20's will bring if he started using needles when he was 16, but for today I am choosing to take whatever peace I can get.
The road is long.
Things have changed in our household lately. We don't see our son very often. He lives with his girlfriend now and thankfully he is not asking us for anything. The crisis over the Christmas holidays has ended. No more drug use in the basement, sneaking in through the windows when we lock him out, stealing from us, etc.
I still sleep with my purse beside me at night. Old habits die hard.
I see my son approximately once a week. He pops by for a few hours but doesn't stay long. We are converting his old basement apartment into a gym for my husband and I to work out in. There's something to be said about showing him that we are taking care of ourselves so he has healthy parents to return to when he is ready to change.
From what I see, he is doing better now that we've "let go" and set firm boundaries. He acknowledges that he's not clean, but he looks better than he usually does when I see him.
The hardest thing for me is when he is in crisis. I can't bear to see his desperation. We're not in that place now, but I know we will be there again. Recovery is a long road. I shudder to think what his 20's will bring if he started using needles when he was 16, but for today I am choosing to take whatever peace I can get.
The road is long.
