Hello everyone I haven't posted in a couple of days.But it's day 16 for me I am extremely happy for that,But I have to say the insomnia and depression is taking a toll on me.I woke up yesterday morning and I was so frustrated so upset with not being able to sleep and I refuse to take anything to sleep cuz I know I have a severe problem but I don't know how long I can deal with this.When I woke up I was so fed up with it and I was so close to using again.I was saying to myself why am I torchering myself but at the same time I thought when I use I am torcher myself so much more.Cuz my life is consoumed with the drug and how much I have and when I'll have and if I'll have.My emotions are all over the place I am so upset that I let this little pill destroy me physically and mentally.I have been addicted to every drug imaginable except crack.I did heroin and it didn't even phase me probably because I am used to taking so much oxy it didn't do much and thank god for that cuz I would of been in a world of s***.I can't believe that little pill had so much control of me when I have used everything else in the book. Any of your posts would help so much cuz my mental state it's the worse it's ever been.Any suggestions advice anything would be a great help.PLEASE HELP!!!!
Whathavei
Hello,welcome to the board......I really dont know what to tell you about the deprestion ,i wish i did i really do!!!! Im am deprested myself so bad!!!!! I just hope and pray you keep yourself clean and dont start back useing because of it.Im on suboxone and it has really helped me.In the beging i thought i was back to my oldself in sub. but then all the emotion kicked in .The ones i should of been feeling years back on the pain pills.Someone will be alone soon to give you advice with your deprestion.Keep posting it will really help you talk with others that are in the same boat as you and i am.I have tried the other street drugs just as you have and i didnt get the feeling like i did on my pills.If i did it would only last a very short time and i use Alot.I think my body is just build up to a very high level.But,then i thought im useing and trying this other stuff to help one problem and tradeing for another that could be even worst.Or i could end up on both so i quit trying other things before it became a BIGGER problem.Id like to hear more about you and your story if you would share.How long did you use? what kind did you use?Stay here others can help us.take care,crystal
Hello,welcome to the board......I really dont know what to tell you about the deprestion ,i wish i did i really do!!!! Im am deprested myself so bad!!!!! I just hope and pray you keep yourself clean and dont start back useing because of it.Im on suboxone and it has really helped me.In the beging i thought i was back to my oldself in sub. but then all the emotion kicked in .The ones i should of been feeling years back on the pain pills.Someone will be alone soon to give you advice with your deprestion.Keep posting it will really help you talk with others that are in the same boat as you and i am.I have tried the other street drugs just as you have and i didnt get the feeling like i did on my pills.If i did it would only last a very short time and i use Alot.I think my body is just build up to a very high level.But,then i thought im useing and trying this other stuff to help one problem and tradeing for another that could be even worst.Or i could end up on both so i quit trying other things before it became a BIGGER problem.Id like to hear more about you and your story if you would share.How long did you use? what kind did you use?Stay here others can help us.take care,crystal
GOD NO SUPPORT DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?
Well Crystal i have been using drugs for about 13 maybe 15 years.But I have been using oxy for 3 years non stop and alot of it about 10-15 80mgs a day this pill has hurt me from the inside of my bones out!!!
16 days isn't long enough for your body to heal the damage that the pills have done. You didn't get addicted overnight, you're not going to feel better overnight. Be kind and parient with yourself. Remember to breathe.
Do you have someone that you can talk to face to face? Someone that understands what you're going through and that you trust?
In those first few days, I was so sick and so scared but it always helped to be able to talk about it. Getting my mind off of it helped too. I went for a walk, watched lots of TV and funny movies, read or went to the gym (although that took more energy than I had).
Hang in there, it will pass.
Cowgirl
Do you have someone that you can talk to face to face? Someone that understands what you're going through and that you trust?
In those first few days, I was so sick and so scared but it always helped to be able to talk about it. Getting my mind off of it helped too. I went for a walk, watched lots of TV and funny movies, read or went to the gym (although that took more energy than I had).
Hang in there, it will pass.
Cowgirl
hey,OMG I dont see how you have been going this long.......your doing so great to give up now...Dont let this da** diesease get at you now.I know how you are felling i have tried the cold trukey and i did for 2 months ...I gave into it and thought i couldnt go back through that again.I found out about sub. and i thank God for it.....I thought thier was no hope for me anymore...you can email me anytime you need a friend ...You didnt saying anything wrong.Some others will be along soon i promsie you.i will go find them if they dont.lol.take care,im here for awhile,crystal
lovelytobe23@yahoo.com
lovelytobe23@yahoo.com
Hey,CG
So glad to see your back.I told you you were needed around here and many could not of have made it as far as they have.You never responded to me in your post about you being gone.......
Im still here with you and Cw ,can really help you ...Im a peracet user of 5 years ..Hope you get to feeling better soon.Why cant you take anything for sleep?...Keep posting .....crystal
So glad to see your back.I told you you were needed around here and many could not of have made it as far as they have.You never responded to me in your post about you being gone.......
Im still here with you and Cw ,can really help you ...Im a peracet user of 5 years ..Hope you get to feeling better soon.Why cant you take anything for sleep?...Keep posting .....crystal
Dear whathaveidone, You are not alone, and I sincerely hope you are not trying to cope with this alone. It is amazing that you have made it 16 days. I had a 150-170 mg per day oxy habit until 3 1/2 weeks ago. Now I am on suboxone. What you are going thru will get better. Each day that passes without a pill, you are 1 day closer to having your life back. I don't know the details of your life, but it sounds like you may be suffering a bit more than you need to. Right now you need to reach out to anyone you can and build a support network. If you haven't already, go to a doctor. There are many non-addictive substances that can help you ease the transition back to a normal life. Trazadone can help you sleep. Anti-depressants can help your serious depression. And possibly look into suboxone to manage those cravings. Get some counseling or therapy, go to an NA or AA meeting. Talk to someone at your church if you have one. If not, think about finding one. A friend of mine was never religious, but started talking to a priest because she was desperate and had nobody. He was very caring and compassionate and helped her to learn to communicate with God. Prayer can work. Cut off your connections to this evil drug. You've come way to far to turn back now. Get your friends and family involved. They will probably be more supportive than you think. Keep busy as much as possible, even if you don't feel like it. STRETCH. It sounds silly but it really helps relax and calm you. My heart goes out to you, I know how this feels. It will pass, but your body is healing and it takes time. Try to take something like Trazadone for sleep. It's non-narcotic. Sleep deprivation intensifies everything else. Have faith in yourself, you can do this and you are worth it. Any time you want to talk, start a thread titled "Atlas" and I will always respond. I am on here almost everyday. I would like to hear more of your story and share mine as well. Take care, Atlas
Hi WHID, (would love to know a first name)
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I remember those days............ I remember crying over anything and everything, not sleeping, no energy, stomach being crazy, restless legs, ect. Just keep in mind that this will pass and things will get better as each day goes by. Try to stay in the moment if you can, take 15 minutes at a time. Try not to isolate, although I know how hard that is too. Exercise helps.......even just a simple walk. I had to use antidepressants to help get my serotonin levels up after I quit pain pills. The insomnia I think is the worst. I would go 40 hrs without sleep and that makes everything even more awfull. Even small problems are magnified when a person does not get enough sleep. I was prescribed Trazedone as a sleep aide and it really worked for me. Its a non-narcotic and is not addictive. The only other things that I can suggest is warm baths, warm milk if you can stand it, no exercise before laying down to sleep, no TV and maybe read for awhile beforehand..
I wish you continued success, others who read this will have good suggestions and support for you too.
Sharon
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I remember those days............ I remember crying over anything and everything, not sleeping, no energy, stomach being crazy, restless legs, ect. Just keep in mind that this will pass and things will get better as each day goes by. Try to stay in the moment if you can, take 15 minutes at a time. Try not to isolate, although I know how hard that is too. Exercise helps.......even just a simple walk. I had to use antidepressants to help get my serotonin levels up after I quit pain pills. The insomnia I think is the worst. I would go 40 hrs without sleep and that makes everything even more awfull. Even small problems are magnified when a person does not get enough sleep. I was prescribed Trazedone as a sleep aide and it really worked for me. Its a non-narcotic and is not addictive. The only other things that I can suggest is warm baths, warm milk if you can stand it, no exercise before laying down to sleep, no TV and maybe read for awhile beforehand..
I wish you continued success, others who read this will have good suggestions and support for you too.
Sharon
Hey,sorry guess you left for tonight or this morning it is here anyways 335am///.I got a email from my brother and his new girl friend and it was so upsetting.Well,didnt really say anything upsetting to me it was how i been feeling about us.my family since my mom past and them not help me.i took care of her when her dieing and my mom yelling for them and they come late and drunk scareing her to death.Or didnt show up.They wonder why i act the way i do.i have alot of hurt and angry inside me and it so hard to pretend im ok.or that im not pi**ed off at them.i have knocked all my 3 brothers out my life.And alot of so called friends.i dont need them ....They cause TROUBLE ,hurt and pain as well.I have a few friends here long distance friends is alot better.i have one true friend i met here and we talk daily something 3 times a day.its one of the best friendship i have had.can tell her anything and not worry where its going o whats going to be said.i told my brother they run thier mouth about my addcation and i dont denie it and i dealing with it daily and alot more other things i suffer with.I get so down at night and here its 335am in the morning and cant sleep.The depresstion hits me so bad at this time everyday of my life......I hope you come back and let others help you.Take care,,,,crystal
Crystal, Sounds like you're going thru alot right now. Life can be so damn hard sometimes. Try to remember that it will get better. The rough times never last forever. Guess there are 4 of us now that can't sleep. Did you go to bed at all yet? I've been up all night. And I have a meeting at 1:00 tomorrow, I mean today. Looks like a 2 Starbucks morning for me. I hope you can get some rest. Do you have to work or anything tomorrow? Or can you maybe take a nap? Atlas
Crystal,
I also met the dearest friend I've ever had in my life on here. We are sisters in everyway except by DNA, lol. So I do understand.
Sorry you can't sleep either.
Sharon
BTW, Crystal, thanks for the adavar advice. That's how I've been entertaining myself tonight. I've changed mine at least 3 times already, lol.
I also met the dearest friend I've ever had in my life on here. We are sisters in everyway except by DNA, lol. So I do understand.
Sorry you can't sleep either.
Sharon
BTW, Crystal, thanks for the adavar advice. That's how I've been entertaining myself tonight. I've changed mine at least 3 times already, lol.
Hello everyone back again from the 2nd round of trying to sleep but no dice I came on to see if I had any replies and I did and that puts a huge smile on my face.This board definitley eases the pain.I spent 9 days in a inpatient detox and I also took a couple of days of suboxone about 3 or 4 days.I come on the message board alot to read and to hear everybodys story cuz stories of sucess are my drug for hope and it gives me the natural high!!!!People keep posting for me and I will pray for all of you!!!
Still hoping that you will give us a first name (even a made up one) to call you by. That would be easier than typing .......whathaveIdone, lol. Its your call though.
From one insomniac to another,
Sharon
From one insomniac to another,
Sharon
KG thats what everyone calls me!!
Kg,thought you were gone.glad you are still here.Im really off to bed you have alot of good suport here now,i cant think how to spell right now.Can you get your doctor to put you back on sub. for a few more weeks ?Did the sub. help you when you were on it?Can i ask do you have kids?And are you a man or a woman lol...I just wanted to know so i will know an ideal of who im talking with..I gotta go will look for you tomm...Hope you get to sleep soon also.But,hope to talk to you again soon.
Thanks,sharon and atlas glad you all joinied in on this one itss 435am i need to get some sleep,no i dont have work tomm.i havent worked since april or so...i dont fell im confordent enough to go back yet.The depestion is so bad i know getting out would help a great deal but,its so hard. for me.I am use to working worked since 16 and i know now i really enjoyed life then and i didnt relize it until now .i complained to da** much and really had it made.No addiction,mom here and my mental whole body and mind here .lol......
Atlas i posted to you on Cw gone thread i was saying you sound so different from when you first came here.so sound like a different person.I so happy for you.i was like that in the beging on sub.i felt so good and after months on it it slaped me so hard.Im looking into a doctor to specialize in deprestion ,Hope i found a good mine ,my family doctor is no good.Shes a dope doc. Well,im gone ladies .have a good night hope to talk with you al soon.....
Thanks,sharon and atlas glad you all joinied in on this one itss 435am i need to get some sleep,no i dont have work tomm.i havent worked since april or so...i dont fell im confordent enough to go back yet.The depestion is so bad i know getting out would help a great deal but,its so hard. for me.I am use to working worked since 16 and i know now i really enjoyed life then and i didnt relize it until now .i complained to da** much and really had it made.No addiction,mom here and my mental whole body and mind here .lol......
Atlas i posted to you on Cw gone thread i was saying you sound so different from when you first came here.so sound like a different person.I so happy for you.i was like that in the beging on sub.i felt so good and after months on it it slaped me so hard.Im looking into a doctor to specialize in deprestion ,Hope i found a good mine ,my family doctor is no good.Shes a dope doc. Well,im gone ladies .have a good night hope to talk with you al soon.....
Sharon
i forgot to add ..i came really close to getting that avatar.it means life is so hard.........Then i had add the i think its robbie williams?Did you see it him naked it was funny but,didnt think it was apro. im glad i help its fun and hard to decide ..Some have some good meaning behind them.i have a few ad saved a my note book in my settings.i have one that says I DONT LIKE MEAN ..lol....I hope im off i could sat here all night im not even sleepy it 445am .But,i know i gotta go sometime.later crystal
P>S.Shoron to add one at the bottom of your message where my cow is go to signature and copy and paste it there in my setting go to signature....thought i add .....i had to firgire out how everyone had one on thier message at the bottem on post...
i forgot to add ..i came really close to getting that avatar.it means life is so hard.........Then i had add the i think its robbie williams?Did you see it him naked it was funny but,didnt think it was apro. im glad i help its fun and hard to decide ..Some have some good meaning behind them.i have a few ad saved a my note book in my settings.i have one that says I DONT LIKE MEAN ..lol....I hope im off i could sat here all night im not even sleepy it 445am .But,i know i gotta go sometime.later crystal
P>S.Shoron to add one at the bottom of your message where my cow is go to signature and copy and paste it there in my setting go to signature....thought i add .....i had to firgire out how everyone had one on thier message at the bottem on post...
Crystal,
I almost got that same adavar.......(the mean one). I wish the writing would appear bigger on the one I chose because that is why I picked it. No, I did not see the naked one........now I have to go look again, lol and I bet I change mine again. This is too much fun.
Anyway, get some rest. I think that I may be pulling an all-nighter here. I feel sorry for those reading my posts in a few hours. Its untelling how many brain cells I will be working with by then (not working with many in the first place on a good day).
Goodnight, TTYL.
Sharon
I almost got that same adavar.......(the mean one). I wish the writing would appear bigger on the one I chose because that is why I picked it. No, I did not see the naked one........now I have to go look again, lol and I bet I change mine again. This is too much fun.
Anyway, get some rest. I think that I may be pulling an all-nighter here. I feel sorry for those reading my posts in a few hours. Its untelling how many brain cells I will be working with by then (not working with many in the first place on a good day).
Goodnight, TTYL.
Sharon
Crystal,
Thanks for the additional advice on putting one at the bottom of my message. I promise........my last post to you tonight, lol.
Love,
Sharon
Thanks for the additional advice on putting one at the bottom of my message. I promise........my last post to you tonight, lol.
Love,
Sharon
It ok. about posting back i wanted to say check it out he sitting in a chair and is amaimatied hes naked and his hard gos up and say something .lol.check it out tomm,crystal
P>S>i need to go to sleep his HAND go up in the air lol.
P>S>i need to go to sleep his HAND go up in the air lol.
