The Enemy Within

just been reading some of the posts of which there aint been many lately for some reason.i saw a couple of posts from zekk amongst my regular friends of whom ive not seen on the board b4,so nice to meet u zekk,a few things u said about the juice made a lot of sense and the people alongside u in recovery going straight out to see there best pal,THE MAN.for a couple of weeks now i,ve been wanting to post about a few things but cant find the words as ive totally lost my confidence and self worth.i get the feeling bcoz im trying to get on and stay on the right track that people would rather keep me down there,im getting very suspicious about that.i have lots of mates who r non users but feel i have no one now to off load too as i have split with my woman of 20yrs of which i dont want to give up on but will have to at some point and let me tell u im still heartbroken about it as she was my everything.to be honest the thought of moving on scares me s***less,im 43 and thought her and my kids were forever ,though my kids are forever.maybe down the line a bit i will be able to figure this out,they say trust your instincts and i normally do but hope im wrong on this occassion as i reckon there will be bloodshed.i think i,ll leave it at that for the moment but will update in the future and i really hope to say that ive been a fool but we,ll see.hi to all my mates out there have a good weekend.
ECK

My G/F of 15 plus years also left. It was kind of mutual though, I think she was sick of things here & she was missing her family which lives about 300 miles north of here.
She was starting to drink alcohol a little more , which turned me off & I guess I did plenty of things that she was sick of. She also was getting older (50) & she was feeling uncomfortable about that & her changing metabolism etc... sh*T I didnt understand.

Anyway, we keep in touch a little - not as much as you would think. The loneliness is real & that suckss but life goes on

Hope your feeling a little better- it will all get better
much respect
jack
Eck pal i feel for ya honestly.....losing yer woman and the rejection that causes must have sumthin to do with yer low self esteem......but as Jack said mate ya gotta move on.....its the only way ....you cant sit still and feel sorry for yerself coz i know yer not that type of bloke.Yer off the s***e thats a start....you have still got yer great children.My ex was never the love of my life i let that one go oh to easily yrs.back......its just me and Sian ......f*** all contact with her mum so sumtimes its such a battle for me to get on and do the right thing....girls ask Q?s and sumtimes i have to rack my tiny brain for the right answers.I myself at the age of 39 looking at life and all i got is my daughter and me.....do i feel happy ??for her yes coz shes a great wee girl......for me no......most of the time coz you know when yer pleasing everybody else but you thats me and i hate it.Eck sorry for the ramle....but im in yer corner.....but nae bloodshed o.k
Take care the white rhino..............Davey
Eck.....im so sorry things took a bad turn with your wife....thats a really hard one...its wierd how everything seems to pour down the minute we all decide to get clean...like the test from hell...but it will pass Eck...i know thats some lame words for how yu must be feeling right about now...but its truth...and ive got faith you will pull through it...your strong Eck and feeling down with yourself is natural and normal at the point your in...but you also got to see that your a good and decent person too..ya..we all make mistakes but who doesnt...none of us is perfect...but your still worthy of good things Eck...you have to beleive that.....your a generous and caring person...and you are loved ...never believe you are not...you have always been here for all of us...I know good things will start to happen soon for you...just stay tough and strong and know that you can do it....we got your back Eck...

Con
Eckie...just wanted you to know I've been following your posts and have been thinking about you. I know you're struggling and sad and confused...but we're all here rooting for you. Know you deserve all good things...and thanks for the kind words and thoughts about my daughter's situation.
Eckie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((((Eckie))))))))))))))))

Missing you!
Eck...same as Bryn....damn...miss you bro...come out come out wherever you are....riding using or not...love ya anyways...come and talk dude....we miss you
I missed this post somehow, I am saddened to see you going thru this, and although it seems people want to keep you down and all this bad stuff is going on just now, I think alot of it has to do with the fact that you are no longer covering those feeling every minute with staying high--your attempting to feel, and thats not easy, those feelings are gonna run hella deep for awhile, IT DOES GET BETTER__MUCH BETTER, 20 years-wow, i dont know the circumstance, but no matter, thats a tough one, try to keep our humor--thats what i think of when u come to mind, we are here for you, usinfg or not, we respect and understand...really--you cannot leave davey to deal with all these women alone, so let us in...just say hi if you can--big hugs to you my friend
Eck ....Amity is dead right i dunno what would happen if ya left me with this forum of lovely ladees.Take care Eck i miss our mindless banter.....your mate........Davey