Like all parents I've a child that is an addict. Like all moms the guilt what dud I miss why did he try it.
My son had it all. But he decided on path of self destruct. It's been 20+ years jail /od/attemped suicide. June 2015 reality really hit when I found his needles/ syringes and all equipment. Funny I wasn't shocked but angry because he had bis brother pick up his things. If his brother was pulled over with that stuff in car he would of paid the price . He almost lost his arm shooting up.
Nine surgeries later and skin graft he kept it. Even made attempt at rehab.until his social worker according to him . They ended up homeless broke . But he got a job with family friend and con this man to help him get appt. So the new chapter of the book he was Rob at gun point !! Got fired from work and gueess tested positive for cocaine and something else.
Christmas comes emotional blackmail until I had to stop answerang phone. Tonight was the worse. He showed up at brothers house asking for bike . My youngest son took him in three times before. Knowing bis brother is a third hid his wallet in his bedroom. Jeremy goes in Bedroom to speak to his wife pretends to fall on floor steals wallets.when the girl and son leave the youngest goes into bedroom looming for wallets he calls his brother the idiot answers and swears he doesn't have it.
So my son chases him down makes him empty pickets and there were his credit cards. It wasn't pretty but he help him find wallets in sand.
He swore he didn't take it and thought it aS the g/f
When does it end for family and abusers
It doesn't my son is not mine not. Since the day he decided to get high.
He is in God's hand now with God's will.
I pray he doesn't hurt another parents chi m&m d.
I can't I won't feel guilty anymore. He refused all help he likes the life of drug addict .
It's harsh but I've got to live without remorse anymore and I've got to do d a way for my other son to find peace he was right we have a cancer that can't be cured .
I'll always love my little boy BUT I hate the man.
Thank you for letting me rant.
I can't express to others who haven't gone through a drug addicts world how soul destroying it us
Helpless mother
Please accept my apology for the typos in the previous passage so was angry hurt that I fired it off without proof reading
Hi. This seems like a long 20 years for you. Rant of you need to. That's why we're here.
Praying for your heart, and your family
Praying for your heart, and your family
You are not alone and you are in the right place to rant all you want. I completely understand your feelings. My husband said it best...our son won't change so we have to. Keep yourself healthy and just know that the rest is out of your control. Praying for you.
Michelle
Michelle
Thank you . My youngest son is so hurt his brother even stole a razor it sure what else he got. But to rob right in front of your family. Just says what state of mine my son is in.
This is going to be hard I'm afraid of him my addict son. My husband won't let him near me. Thank goodness
All the emotional blackmail is done by phone . It's seems so harsh but I'm an tired of trying to fix someone who has rejected any help. He blames society and family no one will help him. But he won't help himself.
My son will be added to USA as another saticst. Homeless drug addict . If he can steal from family I can only imagine what he is doing on the streets . Jail is best place for him and me.
This is going to be hard I'm afraid of him my addict son. My husband won't let him near me. Thank goodness
All the emotional blackmail is done by phone . It's seems so harsh but I'm an tired of trying to fix someone who has rejected any help. He blames society and family no one will help him. But he won't help himself.
My son will be added to USA as another saticst. Homeless drug addict . If he can steal from family I can only imagine what he is doing on the streets . Jail is best place for him and me.
Hi, So sorry to read what you are going through. You found a good place coming here. We're all here for each other and just having people to talk to that are going through the same helps! I would imagine your son is in his 30s? My daughter is 33yrs old. I have been going through this for 17 yrs. I never thought it would have went on this long. I have got to the stage where I don't look for anything anymore where my daughter is concerned. I learned to stop enabling her by coming on here. Then from the day I changed my phone number is when I started to get peace. No guilt trips, bumming money, needing rides, nothing anymore and it's so peaceful. Don't blame yourself for any of this. You didn't cause this, none of us did. We do tend to blame ourselves but we're wrong! Time has taught us that we can't control them either. Drugs is what controls them. Look at us the years we have tried to cure them too. Only they can cure themselves. I hope you get some comfort from coming on here. I know it's helped me. We are all here for you. Take care, your in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless. Mary.
Mary
I found this site last year and it gave me some of my will power back. I'm like an addict I kept giving in until Jan this new year . For my sake my other children and my husband I need to help me.
He con our friend out of money and now stole from his brother .He steals a piece of my soul every time he calls .
It's time while it's not going to be easy it's time to break the cycle. He needs to know that the gravy train the nit a my fault. My situation is his fault no society .
It's horrible what the drugs have done to our children. I wish I knew the answer why would any one take drugs for recreation. Why would it let the drug control their lives.
Taking back what is mine and not what he thinks he deserves.
I'm asking for strength and support and a stronger backbone. This site helps ...
Pray for all of us parents I don't see end in site.
I found this site last year and it gave me some of my will power back. I'm like an addict I kept giving in until Jan this new year . For my sake my other children and my husband I need to help me.
He con our friend out of money and now stole from his brother .He steals a piece of my soul every time he calls .
It's time while it's not going to be easy it's time to break the cycle. He needs to know that the gravy train the nit a my fault. My situation is his fault no society .
It's horrible what the drugs have done to our children. I wish I knew the answer why would any one take drugs for recreation. Why would it let the drug control their lives.
Taking back what is mine and not what he thinks he deserves.
I'm asking for strength and support and a stronger backbone. This site helps ...
Pray for all of us parents I don't see end in site.
How are you doing?
I'm almost sure you are "waiting for the other shoe to drop" like I am.... my son is on the run. I'm am finding a great amount of peace trusting that God will absolutely win this battle of Satan taking over his Children. I don't know when. It may take a long time for the right time. . It might not be our lifetime, or theirs. It could be me. It could be you. Just one moment's wrong choice could have changed anything we are. . Thank God for that!
knowing he doesn't want to be caught here has helped, However, I am trying to control thoughts of the possibility of him dying for some reason connected to his addiction. I worry that I offend some people mentioning my faith, of I have, forgive me. I am just teeing to help the best that I can. ..
I feel you are not offended, but just adding in case I have others. Thanks to you and others for posting and being there for each other
Hang on. We're on a roller coaster that's way too long
I'm almost sure you are "waiting for the other shoe to drop" like I am.... my son is on the run. I'm am finding a great amount of peace trusting that God will absolutely win this battle of Satan taking over his Children. I don't know when. It may take a long time for the right time. . It might not be our lifetime, or theirs. It could be me. It could be you. Just one moment's wrong choice could have changed anything we are. . Thank God for that!
knowing he doesn't want to be caught here has helped, However, I am trying to control thoughts of the possibility of him dying for some reason connected to his addiction. I worry that I offend some people mentioning my faith, of I have, forgive me. I am just teeing to help the best that I can. ..
I feel you are not offended, but just adding in case I have others. Thanks to you and others for posting and being there for each other
Hang on. We're on a roller coaster that's way too long
Hi momma
Truth I'm struggling bit. I know he will try to contact me not soon because he stole from his brother and of course he swear he didn't do it. I pray to good and even my mom and ask for go with him. Then I feel selfless there are so many parents who have children that have cancer or other disabilities. My son was happy smart and good looking. But he always was jealous of his brothers. Middle child syndrome I don't know.
My daughter in law is afraid to be in her own apt. She is begging my son to move. Again this man causes havoc everywhere he goes.
I would be relieved if he went to jail. He is going to rob someone that would be there on my pay check.
Hate is such a strong emotion but my heart is so broken. I am tired of fighting of hoping for a miracle.
I can't talk to my family the struggle within me. They condemn me for caring where is he.
I wish someone to tell what these feelings are and how to cope.
I'm tired of it all . I don't want to care.
Do you wish you could go back and figured out and stop the self destruction. Or do you feel nothing would of change the outcome.
I just to grow old happily . My son will be 35 next month.
Truth I'm struggling bit. I know he will try to contact me not soon because he stole from his brother and of course he swear he didn't do it. I pray to good and even my mom and ask for go with him. Then I feel selfless there are so many parents who have children that have cancer or other disabilities. My son was happy smart and good looking. But he always was jealous of his brothers. Middle child syndrome I don't know.
My daughter in law is afraid to be in her own apt. She is begging my son to move. Again this man causes havoc everywhere he goes.
I would be relieved if he went to jail. He is going to rob someone that would be there on my pay check.
Hate is such a strong emotion but my heart is so broken. I am tired of fighting of hoping for a miracle.
I can't talk to my family the struggle within me. They condemn me for caring where is he.
I wish someone to tell what these feelings are and how to cope.
I'm tired of it all . I don't want to care.
Do you wish you could go back and figured out and stop the self destruction. Or do you feel nothing would of change the outcome.
I just to grow old happily . My son will be 35 next month.
Hi. I'm glad to hear from you. I understand what you mean about the test of the family not understanding how you feel. I don't feel like mine does either. . My husband is bitter, I'm guessing because we take care of his 4 year old daughter. A gorgeous girl with a sharp mind. She has physical disability. My son had custody. .. ( more to THAT story). So. ..I can't talk to him. My parents are empathetic, and enablers (as I have been) I have 4 other kids, son, age 20, twin daughters, age 14, & daughter, age 9. Most of their lives have been affected by his addiction. . Stealing, jail, taking care of his daughter, scary behavior when high, heavy drinking... etc. I have wished I could go back. .I have a thousand times in my mind. .I think there were things that affected him that I wish I could make go away that happened to him. I still come to the conclusion that he made the choice at age 14 to break in to a liquor store. .. And kept repeating that until current. I couldn't do it for him, & you couldn't either. I personally cannot just forget about him. I'll always have unconditional love for him, & he knows it. I also think we need to protect ourselves. From theft, violence, etc. Etc. I don't think it's as easy as just cutting them off for some people than others. . I'm planning on holding my ground about being around us messed up. But. .. The drug doesn't care about what I plan on, right? So ya. .. I'm really not much help. But I'll listen. We can advise each other. My heart is broken. They say their age (maturity)stops when they become addicts. ..idk. I'm having a hard time believing he's still 14. Really 24. Ugh. Protect yourself. From harm. It's just survival. I will too
I wanted to add my son's drug of choice is crystal meth. He will drink , pop pills, and whatever else he can get his hands on if available. . Sometimes several at a time. That's when he SCARES me. He has told me that I would not believe everything he has done in order to get it. I believe him. :'(
I have to let go. He is destroying my mental and physical health. My son doesn't care,honestly Will do whatever he can to get money for the next high.
I'm afraid of him my husband is afraid for me. We've spent thousands of dollars it's never enough. I wish we had power to lock them up
a mental health facility rewire their brains . My son's brain and body is so abused from drugs his teeth are rotten and he always smells.
He has to make the decision and find his way back I can't fixed him .please keep in touch. Xx
I'm afraid of him my husband is afraid for me. We've spent thousands of dollars it's never enough. I wish we had power to lock them up
a mental health facility rewire their brains . My son's brain and body is so abused from drugs his teeth are rotten and he always smells.
He has to make the decision and find his way back I can't fixed him .please keep in touch. Xx
Feeling like a bit of a stalker. My son is in jail again been for a few weeks,which is a blessing. No phone calls with emotional blackmail.
But each day I checked web site each day to make sure he is still there. I'm so angry at myself. Why do I care. Honestly don't want to!!
I want off this rollercoaster of my son's addiction.
I didn't cause it ,I tried to help him cure it. He refused responsibly for his actions now it's time for his consequences.
I want peace and I don't know if I will ever achieve it.
Susan
But each day I checked web site each day to make sure he is still there. I'm so angry at myself. Why do I care. Honestly don't want to!!
I want off this rollercoaster of my son's addiction.
I didn't cause it ,I tried to help him cure it. He refused responsibly for his actions now it's time for his consequences.
I want peace and I don't know if I will ever achieve it.
Susan
I have just started at this sight. My topic name is Paws. I chose to read about the affects our addictions have on our loved ones. May I recommend a couple of posts that moved me and motivated me? On the left side in the blue sidebar under Most Popular Topics is a very good writing. Please read it. It's titled Let Me Fall By Myself. Also there is another post under the crack\cocaine forum called Hello. My name is drugs. I really hope you take a moment to review those. Very moving.
Hi paws,
I know that one let me fall by myself very well. It's just so hard to keep those words in my heart.
Thank you x
I know that one let me fall by myself very well. It's just so hard to keep those words in my heart.
Thank you x
Susan,
I know.how you feel, we all know. I wonder all the time when it's going to end. Even if we aren't enabling, we can't shut our brains off. We can't help but wonder.how our addict is doing, we can't help it that we care. I feel like the best that we can hope for is brief periods of peace. We can hold tight to our boundaries and just do the best that we can. I wish you peace.
Michelle
I know.how you feel, we all know. I wonder all the time when it's going to end. Even if we aren't enabling, we can't shut our brains off. We can't help but wonder.how our addict is doing, we can't help it that we care. I feel like the best that we can hope for is brief periods of peace. We can hold tight to our boundaries and just do the best that we can. I wish you peace.
Michelle
Hi Susan, I'm sorry that I have not replied lately. I made a really tough decision this past Friday. he used to pop in almost every day To get some food. He would leave his car running because he was afraid to be here to long for the fear of being caught on his warrant. after finding out from him that he is living in an active cooking Meth house and living with a woman who has two sons, and already had a boyfriend in jail. It sounded crazy to me. he also told me that when he gets his tax money, he was going to actually run, to a different state. His daughter is here, and had been for over a year, while he was living in sober living. He clearly is not rational. He was bound to get in trouble. Either he was going to be pulled over with no license or insurance, or get into a fight at a bar, or hurt someone driving or himself. or continue to use and possibly die from doing too much. Meth, drinking, pills, etc. It seemed like the was no way to be clean in such an environment, too much temptation and strife for even a clean person live without the fear of the law taking their children, ( she has two that live with her). All of the things that might happen, could happen, etc, would probably mean more charges for him. my thoughts were If he were to be caught while not driving, It would cause less problems for him in the end. I decided to turn him in. They actually would not go get him at the address that I knew he was staying., Which I figured out, after some time. I put two and two together when told me about different things in order to figure out where he was staying. But, unless I could give them a house number, and let them know exactly when he was there, they said they would not want to go, because they might Spook him If He saw them driving by. That meant that I had to drive by at different times before I could call them and ask them to to go get him right then. And they did. Before all of that, I went into the police station so that they would see a face, a mother, who cares about her son. I don't know if that helped when they arrested him or not. He does not know that I turned him in. I will eventually tell him but am afraid to. I want you to know that things are not going to be easy until our sons get well. You are right we cannot control it. I will be here to support you. I will need your support too, because my son will go to prison this time at least a couple of years? ??... I am NOT going to his court hearing today. I keep telling myself Did it out of love. But I struggle with guilt all the time. Prayers and love coming your way.
Momma
I know how much that hurts. My biggest fear is my son would kill someone driving. Take a child from a parent,kill a dad. Rob from a single mom who lives pay check to check. I'm happy he is in jail. I used to be ashamed of him. I was embarrassed that my brilliant handsome son was a junk addict and liar thief. In the past I was told by my ex husband family and his wife .It's my fault
But his dad or "the family" did nothing it's all Been on me and his younger brother.
Guilt is still there but I feel better he is jail. What I'm struggling with is do i write to him,put money in his account.
And this is my guilt I don't want to. I am tired and once I make contact the emotional blackmail starts again.
You did what's right for him and others that could of been hurt or killed .
We all have to stand as one , or we will become a victim .
I keep repeating to myself I didn't put the drugs in your hand. You couldn't said no! You were brought up right from wrong. My baby boy that I adore is gone in his place is a drug addict who will do anything to chase that high, and one day he could take my life. I'm important too !!
I know how much that hurts. My biggest fear is my son would kill someone driving. Take a child from a parent,kill a dad. Rob from a single mom who lives pay check to check. I'm happy he is in jail. I used to be ashamed of him. I was embarrassed that my brilliant handsome son was a junk addict and liar thief. In the past I was told by my ex husband family and his wife .It's my fault
But his dad or "the family" did nothing it's all Been on me and his younger brother.
Guilt is still there but I feel better he is jail. What I'm struggling with is do i write to him,put money in his account.
And this is my guilt I don't want to. I am tired and once I make contact the emotional blackmail starts again.
You did what's right for him and others that could of been hurt or killed .
We all have to stand as one , or we will become a victim .
I keep repeating to myself I didn't put the drugs in your hand. You couldn't said no! You were brought up right from wrong. My baby boy that I adore is gone in his place is a drug addict who will do anything to chase that high, and one day he could take my life. I'm important too !!
Momma, I would never tell him. You will just open yourself up for more abuse. I know what you did was tough love and very brave of you and I applaud you. Well done! I would have done the same. Years ago I would walk into houses my daughter was in and make her leave with me and if she didn't she knew I would stand and wait. I'm not that kind of a person but I felt I had to be this person to try make her straighten up. That was 16-17 yrs ago and I would have faced the devil himself back then for her. Now I see it did no good. She would leave and go back to these hell holes they call houses. Fast forward 17 yrs and nothing has changed. I'm glad you have peace when he's in jail. If that's what it takes so be it. This might be a good time to completely cut him off. No money! Like you said it might open up the emotional blackmailing again. If I didn't have my grand daughter in school I would sell up and move. But I don't want her to lose the friends she has made since Kindergarden and start all over again. My husband and I have thought about this many a time. I guess it's our way of looking for a solution. Your all in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless. Mary.
Mary,
Thank you, today is arraignment, and he will plea not guilty knowing my son. He will use his 'mental issues' which are the results of drug abuse. It's his third strike for this crime. He is a petty thief. Thief no less, he stole his life and ruin it.
It's funny you see homeless people on the street and wonder why they are there. I look at them different now, someones son/husband/father. It sad what addiction has done to our society.
Sue xxx
Thank you, today is arraignment, and he will plea not guilty knowing my son. He will use his 'mental issues' which are the results of drug abuse. It's his third strike for this crime. He is a petty thief. Thief no less, he stole his life and ruin it.
It's funny you see homeless people on the street and wonder why they are there. I look at them different now, someones son/husband/father. It sad what addiction has done to our society.
Sue xxx
