Thanksgiving day. A day that we should all share as a family and give thanks for all we have.
Yet today is a lonely day for many. Why??? Because folks with substance problems tend to isolate themselves. They remove from their lives anyone that does not agree with their denial.
I hope and pray for every family that they might find peace this holiday season. I also hope and pray that even one family can be saved through the addicted person simply realizing that drugs or alcohol have affected their lives and the lives of those that love one.
I think it all starts with realizing that there is a problem. Only then can you try to help yourself.
Peace and happiness to all!
Thank you kevinak..peace and happiness for you too. I agree, addiction is very lonely. I read once where one person with an addiction affects approx 20 other lives either directly or indirectly. I really hate it...Its a very awful parasite which gradually takes everything away.
I think too in addition to acknowledging they have an addiction, they must want to stop and turn around and walk the other way. They have to want the help to do it. I think sometimes real life doesn't appeal to them or they think real life is too hard. This blows my mind because observing it from the outside, the way they live looks super hard to me. I think most are so lost...Its just very awful and sad for everyone.
I think too in addition to acknowledging they have an addiction, they must want to stop and turn around and walk the other way. They have to want the help to do it. I think sometimes real life doesn't appeal to them or they think real life is too hard. This blows my mind because observing it from the outside, the way they live looks super hard to me. I think most are so lost...Its just very awful and sad for everyone.
Yes, it is such a shame.
The problem is that a "functional addict" does not relate their substance abuse to what they see as the stereotypical addict. Basically they refuse to think that there is a problem because they are not at rock bottom like an addict on the street.
Take my wife for example... She is a successful business owner, with all that brings. Because of that she does not even recognize there is a problem. With no recognition there cannot be even an attempt to overcome the addiction.
It's just beyond me in comprehension. I told her for decades she has a problem. Our child has told her she has a problem and even offered to take time out of his busy family life to go with her to seek help. I have moved out, and told her that all she needs to do is fix the problem, or at least try and I will gladly resume my role as a loving husband.
My goodness... If she had told me that I had a issue that was unacceptable, over and over again, I like to think that I would take that seriously.
All I know is that I am not going back to my old life as tempting as it is over the holidays.
My hope for this message is that some other wife, or husband might read this and think... Are they in this situation with their loved one? Perhaps someone else's family can be saved.
The problem is that a "functional addict" does not relate their substance abuse to what they see as the stereotypical addict. Basically they refuse to think that there is a problem because they are not at rock bottom like an addict on the street.
Take my wife for example... She is a successful business owner, with all that brings. Because of that she does not even recognize there is a problem. With no recognition there cannot be even an attempt to overcome the addiction.
It's just beyond me in comprehension. I told her for decades she has a problem. Our child has told her she has a problem and even offered to take time out of his busy family life to go with her to seek help. I have moved out, and told her that all she needs to do is fix the problem, or at least try and I will gladly resume my role as a loving husband.
My goodness... If she had told me that I had a issue that was unacceptable, over and over again, I like to think that I would take that seriously.
All I know is that I am not going back to my old life as tempting as it is over the holidays.
My hope for this message is that some other wife, or husband might read this and think... Are they in this situation with their loved one? Perhaps someone else's family can be saved.
Sorry to hear about your wife kevinak
Holidays are bad for a lot of people on multiple levels. And some alkies and addicts actually want to be with others that 'party' and will use the holiday as another excuse for chemical intake. As bad as it seems if your wife can stay away from other substance abusers that could be a good thing because addicts want their bad habits validated ie "party' with others that do/think the same.
No sense on you waiting for her bottom or turning point. How long you want to maintain the status quo is something only you can answer. Also the 'functional' alkie or addict frequently winds up being enabled or is/winds up doing things that aren't function ie mistakes will eventually kick in regardless. Addicts become good actors and if they screw up their excuse will sound so good it will get them out of a jam or two.
Until she actually wants to change for herself and not appease others things will playout her way.
Peace
Holidays are bad for a lot of people on multiple levels. And some alkies and addicts actually want to be with others that 'party' and will use the holiday as another excuse for chemical intake. As bad as it seems if your wife can stay away from other substance abusers that could be a good thing because addicts want their bad habits validated ie "party' with others that do/think the same.
No sense on you waiting for her bottom or turning point. How long you want to maintain the status quo is something only you can answer. Also the 'functional' alkie or addict frequently winds up being enabled or is/winds up doing things that aren't function ie mistakes will eventually kick in regardless. Addicts become good actors and if they screw up their excuse will sound so good it will get them out of a jam or two.
Until she actually wants to change for herself and not appease others things will playout her way.
Peace
