Last night I came to the conclusion that the most difficult part of recovery for me is facing myself..To be truly honest about who I am ,what I have become and what I have done.Today I am willing to do that.It is a very scarey thing to do but it needs to be done if I am to get better. My sponsor had told me that a lot of my problem is I put stuff on the back burner instead of dealing with it. If I am to be honest then I know he is right. Whenever feelings arose before that scared me or I didn't want to think about I I buried them with alcholol. But now my crutch is gone ,when these feelings arise anger takes control .I guess to combat the guilt,remorse and fear I feel. Today I am willing to take that step of really having an honest look at who I am-- .to allow the feelings to come and deal with them. I am not doing it alone. I have a HUGE amount of support from my sponsor ,from this board for that I thank you all and if p.........g me off sometimes means helping me in my recovery than go for it lol
Sounds like you're ready pirate! You go for it girl. And don't forget to face the wonderful you, too! Sometimes we deny too much of what is good and great and God-given in ourselves.
And my experience is that the very act of demonstrating to ourselves that we have the courage to do this helps us feel much safer, much stronger and more able to face life on life's terms.
Oh, and as well as making me feel those things it also made me realise I'm only human and will ALWAYS make mistakes however safe, strong and capable I am.......my real self and spirits grew as my ego deflated! One of those paradoxes skg quoted in the other thread!
I'm very happy for you.
And my experience is that the very act of demonstrating to ourselves that we have the courage to do this helps us feel much safer, much stronger and more able to face life on life's terms.
Oh, and as well as making me feel those things it also made me realise I'm only human and will ALWAYS make mistakes however safe, strong and capable I am.......my real self and spirits grew as my ego deflated! One of those paradoxes skg quoted in the other thread!
I'm very happy for you.
