The Roller Coaster

It sure was a crazy ride I was on. The roller coaster of addiction took me up and threw me down. It spun me in circles and flipped me upside down. What made the ride crazy rather than exciting was the fact that I just couldnt get off the ride. It just kept going around and around. It became a hell on earth for me. I am not talking about all the bad things that happened or problems that occurred, but I am talking about the separation from God. While I was on this roller coaster, I never thought about my relationship with a Higher Power. Sure, like all addicts and alcoholics, I prayed, God, if you get me out of this one, I will never do it again. But I really was not interested in what Gods will for me was.

The reality was I couldnt get off the roller coaster, and only God could get me off the insane ride. I truly consider myself one of the fortunate ones. The AA Big Book says, There are such unfortunates. They seem to be born that way. But they, too, can get clean and sober, if they have the capacity to be honest. Everything changed for me when I admitted I couldnt get off the roller coaster. Nothing I did would make it stop. Only when I surrendered to a Power Greater than myself did the insanity stop. Do I realize honestly that I am fortunate to be off the roller coaster of addiction?

Hey bestill,
I just wanted to welcome you to the board from me!!! I totally agree woith you on the roller coaster deal and the sick thing for me is I love a roller coaster ride not the kind you were talking about though!!! I am an addict my DOC is heroin/pills any opiates or benzos just like a little kid these are mine not yours so leave me alone.this childish selfish behavior came to a screeching halt to remind me that I am not way into sobriety I let the young punk hold it.
The kid was driving 65 mph in a 1000 ft cul de sac in which 8 kids under 19 live I really showed my but in front of the whole neighborhood after now to type it again.Love ya Cristina Ps this probably makes no sense I just woke up need coffee quick!!!!!
hi christina, lol, i understand the need for coffee quick, i think i got the general gist of it. i do feel what your saying though, it seems self centeredness is at the core of alot of addicts. its only by trying to step outside our own self serving ways and helping others that we start to grow as a person and move away from the awful cycle of addiction.

thank you for the kind welcome, its very nice of you. ive been there too with the heroin and the pills and just about anything else you can name, its only by the grace of god that i can sit here this morning clean of all mind or mood altering substances.

hope you get your coffee quick. lol. id love to hear what you were actually talking about there. with love...lw
Ok heres the story...I was at my bros house this weekend and there are kids everywhere as it is all just starting families neighborhood lots of young kids and a few 8-10 yr olds well my daughter is about to turn 11 and at 9:00 when all the little ones had gone to bed I took my daighter to the neighbors house to play until 11:00 the neighbor is a child hood friend of mine Anyway we are sitting outside smoking cigs and this punk comes driving in thir cul de sac at like 65 mph I tripped otu!!! The guys house they pulled into was beside my bros I was across the street mind you so the house is occupied by 3 21 yr old guys -anyway the truck pulls up and I was thinking what if I had been walking home w/ my kid holy s*** so when they get otu of there car to start a fight w/ my bros neighbors I walk in the middle of the street in my pjs and scream Come here so they look at me like I am crazy and I let them have it I cussed so much I woke people up and those young punks got back in that truck thinking I was a looney .Oh my goodness I cant even repeat what I said to them but something like get back in you truck leave here driving 5 mph and dont even think about coming back or you will be meeting with your maker this is the G rated version of what I said ends up the law impounded their trucks later that night because we did call the law and these fools come back and are firing guns from the end of the street I did not tell my bro till the next morning btu he called those boys land lord and told their landlord to fix it quick because some one was going to be in trouble if a bullet came near his house.So I guess its taken care of now I just dont act like that ya know I even scared myself .Then when I sat back and thought about it I could have really hurt someone nodding out driving down the road fortunately those were all one car accidents by the grace of God anyway thats the story.
wow,now i see why you were so wound up. thank god everyone is safe.
Sorry about all the fill in the blanks this morning thats pretty embarassing!!! Have a good one hey go back to Gloss's thread check that crap out!!
nothing to be embarassed about christine, i was just curious what had you in such an uproar, i get it now. yeah i seen the other post and its just a shame, we all need to be supportive of each other, i would never try and judge the depths of someone elses pain. if someone had minimized my pain back then im sure i wouldnt be the person i am today.